


Equilibrium

by DarthDre



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-02-23 08:47:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 47,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13186551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthDre/pseuds/DarthDre
Summary: So, I had this idea for a prequel to The Force Awakens; in which instead of Rey, it’s the Reader and she trains with Luke, Ben and the other Jedi students before… you know. So, I suppose it’s sort of an AU. I do plan on making this into a full fic, but, we’ll see how it goes.So, in this story the reader, you, are Krios[If anyone gets this nod, I will write something of your choice for you]. I left some descriptions open to the readers appearance.





	1. Discover

**Author's Note:**

> Luke Skywalker roams the streets of Coruscant in search of a mysterious force user.

**Luke**

The search continued, it seemed. Luke walked the streets of Coruscant’s commerce level, trying to follow the vague pull of the force.

He kept his hood up, to avoid any kind of recognition; he wasn’t here to mingle. He was here for the person he heard the rumors about, and if what he heard was true, he had to get to this individual as soon as possible. All he had was a name; nothing more.

No descriptions were given at all about the person he was looking for, so asking anyone to help was out of the question. No. He had to rely on the power of the force to guide him.

He could feel it more vividly now; the user was close. He closed his eyes and froze in his spot, ignoring the people that walked past him on the crowded streets.

He blocked out all the noise; the silence in his ears gave way to a soft humming. Gently, he reached out; and the hum grew into a deep vibration in his ears. His eyes suddenly opened, and in the near distance, he saw a cloaked figure smoothly make their way down the street.

 _It’s them_ , he thought to himself.

Making sure to keep himself blended within the crowd, he followed the person. Among all the twists and turns, he never lost sight of them. And in his mind, he sensed that this person was doing their best to blend in as well. Not once did the person look back, or look to the side; they kept their head down, letting their feet take them where they needed to go.

Eventually, the hooded person took a deep turn into a dark and seemingly abandoned alleyway. Luke made sure to keep his distance, as he watched from behind a tall pillar. The person walked down the steep, downward alleyway before pausing in front of a large pile of heavy crates. Luke could sense the person turning, and he concealed himself behind the pillar.

When he finally allowed himself to look, the person was gone. Slowly, he made his way towards the crates. He observed them and smiled to himself as he too, looked to the crowded streets; of course, no one was watching and he used the force to remove the crates and unveil a secret entrance that sloped downward.

It was dark, and it was dank. It reeked of piss, but Luke still walked inside, allowing the crates to move back to their original spot. He allowed his eyes to adjust to the deep green and blue that reflected off the shiny rock.

Being as quiet as possible, he moved forward. In the distance, he could hear a babble of noise; voices, almost as if a whole community was there. And once he emerged from the tunnel and into an abandoned area, he saw where he was.

Coruscant’s underworld. He gaped at the whole city that dwelled underneath the city. Loud music blared, and movement was alive here.

He seemed to be in another narrow alleyway, and he kept his hood up as the ascended from the small passageway. No one seemed to notice him, and if they did, no one seemed to care.

He searched up and down the street, looking to see if he could spot the person he was looking for; he closed his eyes again, and felt it. His eyes opened and to his right, in front of a storefront, was the hooded person, surrounded by a gang of thugs.

Luke slowly moved closer, feeling that this was not going to go well. When he was within earshot, he heard a large man, presumably the leader of the gang, speak up, “Krios, I hope that what you’re carrying there is for me, since you still owe me for that—”

“I paid you what I owed you, Juk,” a harsh voice came from the figure. It was deep, and it had a slight vibration to it. Luke heard that before, it was similar to Darth Vader’s voice when he wore his mask.

And sure enough, the figure turned; Luke couldn’t make out any features, just the small mask that hid the lower half of Krios’s face, and his eyes were covered with dark goggles.

“You paid me half,” the leader, Juk, said.

 _What a stupid nam_ e, Luke thought.

He heard an annoyed sigh emit from the mouthpiece. Krios, turned to walk away, when one of Juk’s mean grabbed him by the shoulder. Krios froze, and immediately turned, kicking the henchman in the face.

The rest of the gang quickly sprung into action. Luke was getting ready to break up the fight, when he saw Krios quickly pull out a long staff from behind the cloak.

It was almost like watching a dance and Luke couldn’t help but laugh silently as he saw Krios beat the crap out of the gang. The leader Juk, came up from behind after Krios knocked the last two thugs onto the ground with the staff.

He grabbed Juk into a choke hold; Krios simply pulled the staff apart into two pieces, using one to smack Juk across the head. This angered him, and he refused to let Krios go. 

Krios used his force to push Juk back against a steel wall, trying to get him loose. Juk reached down into his holster and pulled out a blaster; just as he did, Luke quickly used the force to pull the blaster away, into his hands.

Juk, dumbfounded, turned over and eyed Luke, dropping Krios to the ground, “Do you have a death wish?”

“I would kindly advise you to leave, now,” Luke said, forcefully, tossing the blaster to the side.

Juk laughed, “I would kindly advise you to fuck off and mind your own fucking business.”

He suddenly lunged at Luke, and he dodged his attacks with ease, moving side to side, as the large man threw a flurry of fists at him. Luke, annoyed with the man, quickly held out his arm and used the force to paralyze him.

Juk struggled, seemingly shocked with his loss of control over his own body, “Who—what are you doing to me?”

“Relax, I’m not going to kill you,” he lowered his hood, and he saw Juk’s eyes widen.

“Holy shit—you’re—”

“Yes, yes, now, are you going to take your thugs and leave?”

“Y—yes; we’ll leave, and we’ll leave Krios alone too,” he stammered.

“And how do I know you’ll stay true to your word?”

Juk scoffed, as if he was insulted, “Do you take me for a savage? I know better than to mess with a Jedi.”

Luke smiled, “Good,” he ungripped his hand and allowed the man to regain control of his body, “Now, take your men and go.”

He immediately turned to see that Krios was already walking quickly down the street. Luke, stepping over the unconscious thugs, followed as he pulled his hood back up.

He kept his distance, sensing that Krios was frustrated. Krios turned and walked into a dainty building, he looked up to see that it was unmarked. But he followed Krios in.

It was dark, and it was barely lit. But he could still make out Krios’s figure kneeling in front of a group of children, reaching into his cloak and pulling out a large bag of cookies. The children smiled and jumped up with joy. Krios didn’t say a word, simply patting the children on their backs.

He stood up and handed the adult watching over the large group of children a wrapped-up bundle, “Thank you, Krios.”

“If there’s anything else you need,” Krios looked at the small group of children sitting on the floor, enjoying the cookies, “Let me know.”

“Of course,” the woman smiled, pulling Krios in for a hug. He stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. But, Luke could feel the warmth in his heart, and the joy he got when he watched the children.

Krios turned, and froze when he saw Luke. He quickly got into a defensive stance, to which Luke smiled, “I’m not here to attack you, Krios.”

Krios tilted his head, “Then why are you here?”

“Perhaps we can speak somewhere privately,” Luke suggested, “Away from the frightened children.”

Krios turned towards the group of children, looking from Luke and back to Krios; fright and nervousness clear in their eyes.

“I assure you, no harm will come to them or to you,” Luke said, calmly.

Krios relaxed from his defensive stance, and stalked out of the building. Luke followed, without question. Krios went down the street and took a variety of twist and turns, until he came across another run-down building; he walked into the dark dwelling, and climbed, without difficulty, the boxes that lead to the second story landing.

Luke looked up at Krios, smirking. Without trouble, he followed suit and walked behind Krios as he entered a room at the end of the hall. He lit a few dozen lanterns, allowing the dim glow to fill up the room.

Luke observed his surroundings; a small cot in the corner of the room, a few weapons laid out on a small table on the other end of the room. His eyes fell on the shelf as he admired the small trinkets that lay scattered upon the smooth surface.

He turned when he heard a shuffling as Krios removed the goggles, the mouthpiece and the hood. He was mildly surprised, and extremely mortified, when he saw that Krios was not a man, as he had believed, but a beautiful young woman. She had long Y/H/C that was in a half up half down style, with one thin braid on either side. Her Y/E/C glowed dimly in the light of the lanterns.

She placed the goggles and the mouthpiece on the table with the weapons. She walked over to the cot and lazily lounged against the corner.

Luke did his best not to stare, “Cozy place you got here, I like the—the things you’ve collected there.”

She stared at him, her eyes bored and annoyed, “You come all the way down here, to the Underworld, to observe my trinkets?”

He shook his head, “Why do you hide your identity?”

“You’ve never been to the Underworld, have you?”

He shrugged.

Krios sighed, exasperated as she leaned forward, her arms lazily resting on her knees, “Women tend to get beaten, mugged and raped here. There are a few exceptions, there’s a code that most of the fuckwads here follow. However,” she leaned back against the wall, “Not all follow it.”

Luke nodded, “And the name?”

She stayed silent. Her eyebrows furrowing, “What do you want?”

He breathed in, and slowly pulled his hood down. She smirked when she looked upon his face, “Luke Skywalker; you’re a Jedi Master.”

He nodded, and she, intrigued, leaned forward, “What do you want with me?”

“I’ve been searching the galaxy; for awhile now,” he took a few steps towards her, “In search of, gifted individuals. I’ve managed to locate a good bunch, but there was one that I heard of; one that was spotted being able to—manipulate things.”

Krios stared at him, her intrigue mixed in with confusion, “And I’m this individual that you seek?”

“Yes, you are,” he answered. Krios rolled her eyes, and he sensed her skepticism, “I saw what you did with those crates at the entrance. You—I can sense that you’re strong with the force.”

“No, that’s just something that I’ve been doing—”

“Since you were young?”

Krios slowly nodded. Luke continued, “I want to train you. I believe that you will make a powerful Jedi, a good one. You have a gentle heart, I see it. You’re strong, formidable—”

“You’re fucking crazy, Skywalker,” she scoffed.

“Maybe,” he smiled.

“I’m a freak,” she said, “I’ve always been; there’s no way that I’m some force wielding Jedi.”

“Not yet, but with the right training—”

“What? You expect me to pack up my shit and just follow you? I don’t even know you, save for what I heard about you!”

Luke sighed, “You have a chance to do something for the greater good, here.”

“And what about the people here that need me? Those children?”

“I sense that you need them more than they need you,” Luke said.

He saw her eyes darken, “You don’t know shit about me! You think that just because you’re a Jedi Master that you can just come here and try to get me to leave with you—get out.”

“You’re right, I don’t know anything about you,” he stood, and made his way towards the door, “But, just so you know, the tip I got was from the woman you handed that bundle of money to, Anim?”

Krios looked up at Luke, her eyes widening. Luke continued, “She tried to keep her identity a secret, but I knew it was her from the way she stared at me when I entered the room. She believes that you’re greater than what this, that you are destined for something more, and looking at you now, I believe it too. But I won’t force you to come with me if that’s not what you want.”

He pulled his hood up, “I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning, if you change your mind.”

And with that, Luke Skywalker walked out of the building, hoping that Krios would change her mind.

 

* * *

 

 

**Reader/Krios**

_Fucking Skywalker, coming in here and being all… Jedi Master. Fucker. Fuck him. Fuck the force. Fuck it all. They’re stupid._

But as Krios stared at the one lone lantern that was lit, trying to lull herself to sleep. She couldn’t shake the feeling that urged her to go with Skywalker.

She would be lying if she said she wasn’t intrigued, because she was. Since she was small, and living under Anim’s care, she was aware of her abilities. They were miniscule at first, moving tiny objects if she concentrated. The kids always thought she was weird for it; and soon, when she started showing more progress, Anim lectured her on keeping her abilities a secret.

She recalled how much she cried, thinking that Anim also believed she was a freak; and Anim stayed up late to comfort her with a story of Luke Skywalker and how he had the same abilities as well. But for a little girl in the Underworld to have these abilities, it meant danger. Trouble. As many people would try to exploit her for her power.

So, she stopped, only using her skills in private. And eventually, she hid who she was once word got around.

 _You don’t have to hide anymore_ , it was a deep voice she heard, a man’s. And as much as she should have been frightened, she wasn’t.

She sighed, her frustration clear in her voice, she rubbed her face and shut her eyes tightly, beckoning the tendrils of sleep to take her away from this.

Krios slowly opened her eyes. She knew what she had to do.

 

* * *

 

**Luke**

Luke smiled to himself when he felt it. He turned and saw Krios walking towards him; her dark cloak blowing in the wind, her hood pulled up; no mask and no mouthpiece.

She stopped a few feet from him, and he smirked at her, “What changed your mind?”

Krios rolled her eyes, “Don’t act so smug, you probably already knew I was going to come.”

He simply shrugged, “Maybe, maybe not.”

“Are all Jedi Masters this obnoxious?”

“Well, I’m the only one left… so, yes,” he smiled, he nodded towards the ship, “Get in, we have training to begin.”

Krios exhaled deeply, turning back to stare at the busy city moving with life. Luke could see the hesitance in her eyes, but it was quickly replaced with excitement. She hastily turned and boarded the ship, keeping her gaze forward.

Luke followed behind her, and smiled to himself, accomplished that now, he could finally begin to train the new generation of Jedi.

 

* * *

 

 

Here's the link to my Tumblr if you want to read more or follow me!

<https://kreylo-solo.tumblr.com/>


	2. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krios arrives at Luke’s Jedi temple, where she feels a little out of place; but she catches the eye of a young man who is fascinated with her.

**Krios/Reader**

Krios leaned her head against the metal wall of the ship. Luke was ahead with the pilot, doing who knows what. They had been traveling for a while, and if she was being honest, she was starting to feel a little nauseous. She placed her head between her knees, trying to keep her composure.

“Are you doing alright?”

She nodded, “Uh, how much longer until we arrive?”

Luke chuckled, “We’ll be there soon,” he walked over to her side and sat next to her, “You’ve never flown before?”

“I only left the Underworld to gather things that Anim needed; you think I had time or the means to fly anywhere, Skywalker?”

“Point taken,” he smiled.

She scoffed, annoyed with herself, “I’m sorry; I don’t mean to be rude.”

“Yes, you do,” he smirked, “But it’s fine. I can see you’re still trying to process everything.”

“So, this temple, there are others there, like me?”

Luke nodded, “Yes, they all can wield the force; my goal, is to train a new generation of Jedi.”

“What happened to the ones from your generation?”

Krios eyed Luke as he looked down, she knew what he meant, “All of them?”

“Your guardian didn’t tell you that part?”

Krios shrugged, “She told me the ‘good parts’ I guess, the ones that didn’t involve the decimation of a whole order.”

“She was probably trying to keep the hope alive in you,” Luke suggested.

She clicked her tongue, scoffing, “What hope?”

“The hope that maybe one day you could help change the galaxy too.”

“I’ll probably end up getting a limb cut off,” Krios mumbled.

Luke chuckled, “Don’t sell yourself short; you’ll do just fine.”

Krios couldn’t help but shoot a small smile at Luke, it was nice to hear those words from him. The Luke Skywalker.

“Ah,” he started, standing up, “We’re arriving.”

Krios immediately jumped from her seat and stood behind the pilot of the ship. She saw as the ship entered the planet’s atmosphere; greeted by clouds and a bright sky. Her eyes scanned the clouds, until she saw the ground below.

The planet was sparse, grassy and plain. Her eyes squinted as she tried to make out the tiny shape in the distance get closer; the temple.

She was in awe as she stared at the very simple looking, but elaborate building; surrounding it were numerous stone huts and she was able to see the students moving about the grounds.

She suddenly felt a little nervous. Luke place a gentle hand on her shoulder, “It’s alright to feel nervous.”

Krios nodded and went to gather her items, a knapsack which consisted of a few trinkets, and snacks, and her staff, as the ship landed.

Luke walked over to the side of the ship as the ramp opened, and he motioned for Krios to follow.

Hesitantly, she descended the ramp behind Luke, pulling the hood of her cloak up. He quickly walked towards the grounds surrounding the temple; Krios could feel the eyes of the many students on her.

I wish I had my goggles and face mask right now, she thought. Watching people gaze upon her face felt strange after so long of hiding who she was from everyone. She kept her head up, though, as she scanned the grounds. Her eyes had never seen so much green, so much sky. She was able to leave the Underworld, but she never once glance at the sky, and now that she did, she couldn’t help but admire its beauty.

Luke ascended the steps of the temple; as the students, clad in white, all greeted him. Their eyes curiously falling on her.

Krios was amazed by the beauty of the temple; it was large and the ceiling was high and dome shaped. It had a simplistic beauty to it, and she couldn’t stop admiring it. In the center, there was a small pool of water, but it was otherwise empty, and she guessed that this was where the training took place.

They wandered into a hallway on the side of the large room. Luke opened a large wooden door to a comfortable room. He quickly pulled out a large book off of a shelf and started flipping through the pages, “We normally sleep in the huts out there.”

Krios scoffed, “I slept in an abandoned building for years, a hut sounds cozy.”

Luke chuckled, “There a few available in the outer grounds; the ones closer to the temple are already occupied.”

“That’ll do,” she said.

“Great, now,” he held out his hand, “Your staff.”

“What?”

Her grip on the staff tightened, “Why?”

“You won’t need it; we train with lightsabers,” he answered.

Hesitantly, Krios handed her staff over to Luke, “Will I ever get it back?”

“Once you complete your training, you can have it back… that is, if you’ll even want it back.”

She tilted her head in confusion. Of course, she would want her staff back; that was an extension of her arm, something that saved her ass numerous times.

He leaned the staff against the far end of the wall; as he did, he disappeared into another room that connected to this one. A few moments, he returned with white pieces of clothing, “Here.”

Krios took the pieces of clothing, “I assume I’ll be wearing these from now on.”

“The only pieces of clothing you’ll need; you can keep your cloak, still,” he added, “Want me to lead you to the huts?”

Krios shook her head, stuffing the robes into her knapsack, “I’ll find one.”

Luke gave her a slight nod, “Practice starts at dawn for everyone; I expect you’ll be here in the temple by then.”

“Actually, I think I’ll just sleep in,” she quipped, sarcastically. Luke chuckled and motioned for her to be on her way. She opened the door and casually made her way out of the temple, listening to the whispers of the other students, “Who is she?”

“I wonder where she’s from.”

“She’s a little late, don’t you think?”

Krios rolled her eyes, strutting down the steps of the temple, keeping her hood up. She followed the trail that led to the huts scattered on the outskirts of the temple.

Her eyes scanned the grounds again, and she found a few sparse huts that looked vacant on the far right of the grounds, save for one.

A man sat on the grass outside, a piece of parchment on top of a book and a strange looking pen in his large hands; his hair was as dark as the nights in her old room, and a little past his ears, a single braid hung from his left side. His skin was a beautiful ivory tone, beauty marks scattered on his face. Krios couldn’t stop admiring his plump, rosy lips, and his dark eyes were set on her. His gaze was intense and she could almost feel a vibration between them.

She shook her head and continued on towards the hut that was a little farther to the left and to the back. The most secluded one she could see.

Krios could still feel his eyes on her, and she felt a slight shiver down her spine. Lazily, she opened the door to the quaint hut, admiring the inside; it was small, and a single cot was in the center. A table was on the right of it and a bucket on the other side… for her business?

She shut the door behind her and tossed her knapsack on the stone floor, throwing herself on the cot. The rays of light shone in through a small window on the side; she stared out of the window, watching the rolling clouds in the sky.

_That’s a lot of sky… I like it, she thought to herself._

Her eyes shut, involuntarily, as she felt the strange feeling of peace around her. She didn’t know why, but she felt at ease. Like she could finally sleep without worrying about someone coming to kill her. And she did, she slept the rest of the day and night away.

 

* * *

 

 

**Ben Solo**

Ben watched the girl from the far side of the temple; he had yet to learn her name, and he was far too shy and nervous to ask her for it.

He rarely talked to the other students here, so his fascination with this girl wouldn’t be sated unless he talked to her himself… I’m hopeless, he thought.

The boy he was sparring with, Carey, struck a blow at him with his low powered saber; Ben quickly dodged it and immediately hauled the boy to the ground; he gasped as he hit the solid floor.

“Oww,” he groaned.

Ben suppressed a laugh and helped the boy up to his feet, “It’s a dirty move to try to hit someone when their back is turned.”

“It was fair,” he retorted, twirling his saber. His eyes fell on the girl sparring with Uri, and he laughed as she popped Uri on the head with her saber, “She fights dirty.”

Ben tried not to look, but he couldn’t resist. He observed her carefully, eyeing with way her Y/H/C hair flowed behind her. She knocked Uri down on his back and she stuck out her hand to help him back up; he sensed that Uri’s anger was building.

He could automatically tell that she has been fighting her whole life, her strikes were precise, and her footing was perfect.

She shrugged her shoulders when Uri refused her hand, shaking out her student robes, and throwing her cloak on the ground.

“Oh crap,” Carey said as he saw Luke heading towards the girl, “I hope she’s not in trouble.”

“Me too,” Ben mumbled.

“I need a break,” Carey groaned, walking towards the kitchen hall, “I think you broke my tailbone.”

Ben turned and took a seat on the ground, taking a drink from his canteen, trying to remain oblivious to her; he watched as Skywalker showed the girl how to properly use the saber.

He smirked when he saw her expression; her head tilted and her hands held out. If Skywalker was getting impatient, he didn’t show it, he simply smiled and he pointed to Ben. At that moment, and he tried to avert his gaze.

_Oh no, oh no_ , he thought to himself when he saw her walking towards him.

He tried not to look at her directly, when she approached him. He could sense her awkwardness too, as she tried to smile, “Ben?”

He nodded, clearing his throat, “Yes.”

She awkwardly stuck out her hand, “Hi, I’m Krios,” Ben took her hand and was amazed at her firm shake, “I, uh think I’m staying in the hut next to you—um, Luke—I’m sorry, _Master_ Luke said you could help me with the proper way to use this?”

Ben was immediately amused by her awkwardness; from afar she looked fierce, but he could feel that, like him, she didn’t know how to associate with people. He simply nodded.

“Great,” she twirled her saber between her fingers, “Soooo…”

Dumbfounded, Ben got to his feet and in a low voice asked, “You’ve never used a saber, or anything like it?”

She twirled the saber in her hand, “No, I used a staff. If I needed to, my staff unscrewed into two separate parts so I could dual wield.”

He nodded, “Well, this isn’t too different; it’s obviously not as long as a staff, and not as short as two pieces. These training sabers don’t have too much power in them, but if you’re using an actual saber, you need to exercise caution, as they’re extremely dangerous, but effective.”

He tried to avoid her fascinated gaze, “Why couldn’t Skywalker tell me that? He was making me think that I couldn’t hit anybody.”

“Well, you can, but you’re not trying to kill them, you’re trying to disarm them,” Ben said.

“Obviously, I’m not going to kill them,” she said, rolling her eyes. Ben was somewhat confused by the gesture, until he saw her smile.

He smiled back at her, “Do you want to--?”

She nodded, readying her saber and pushing her hair behind her shoulders. Ben tried not to be mesmerized by her, but… she was so gorgeous.

Ben watched Krios get into her fighting stance, and he did the same.

“Ready?”

She smirked mischievously, “Are you?”

He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his lips and he quickly swung at her; she easily deflected the strike. Ben nodded, and swing again, she quickly deflected it again, “Are you going easy on me, Ben?”

“You got me,” he retorted, smirking. Then, to test her a bit more, Ben pushed forward, going on the offense; if there was something this girl was good at, was offense, but he wanted her to master defense.

He swung powerfully at her, his wrists smoothly swinging his saber side to side, trying to overwhelm her. But, as hard as he pushed forward, she pushed back just as hard. Ben started to get a little bit more technical with her, testing her. As technical and complicated as his moves were, her eyes were able to pick up on his moves and soon enough, she was on the offense and he was on defense.

Ben watched her footing and the way her wrists gracefully moved the saber. They both were in sync with each other that when their sabers collided, he pushed forward, she pushed back, and then they were both in the middle, trying to overpower the other.

She chuckled and he smirked, both of them loosening their grips. Ben stood back, his saber in his hand while Krios twirled hers.

“That was good; you got it right away,” Ben complimented.

She smirked, “Well, you made it easy.”

He laughed, and it was loud and full that the other students stared at the both of them in confusion.

Ben quickly stopped, “Sorry.”

“For laughing?”

He shrugged and she smirked, “Don’t be. You have a good laugh.”

Ben could feel his awkwardness rise, “Uh, thanks.”

She smiled, “I should probably get back to my sparring partner, but, thanks for the help.”

He gave her a quick nod and she turned, walking back towards Uri.

Ben slowly sat back down on the ground; Carey suddenly spoke, leaning against the wall, “That was hot.”

Ben looked up at him as he chewed on a piece of bread, he held it out to Ben. He rolled his eyes and stared back at Krios; admiring the way she was moving, overpowering Uri.

_Skywalker finally did something right_ , he thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter; I enjoyed writing the sparring session, which was inspired by that one gif of Adam Driver doing his thing. 
> 
> Next Chapter: Krios struggles to get along with others; and bonds with Ben Solo.


	3. Power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krios uncovers her abilities; and has a hard time getting along with others. Ben bonds with Krios.

**Ben**

Ben shivered violently, it wasn’t because it was cold, it was very warm. It was the voice in his dreams; the same voice that spoke to him consistently.

_Skywalker will turn against you; just as your mother and father have._

He shut his eyes tightly, rubbing his forehead.

_They didn’t turn against me, they just wanted me to get training. That’s all._

He tried to assure himself that he wasn’t angry, but he felt like he was lying to himself. He could feel the resentment towards his mother and father linger in the back of his head. He sat up, frustrated at the thoughts in his mind.

Pulling on his shoes, he walked out of his hut, feeling the warm air brush against his face brought some serenity to his troubled mind.

He walked the grounds softly, looking at the sky; staring at the twinkling stars above and the large moon that loomed in the sky. He took a deep breath, and a sudden faint light caught his eye. He turned, back towards his hut and saw the candlelight shining out of Krios’ small window.

His breathing hitched, _what is she doing awake?_

He supposed he shouldn’t be worried about what she was doing, since here he was, walking the grounds late at night because he couldn’t sleep. Maybe she can’t sleep either.

Ben slowly walked towards her hut. He hadn’t spoken to her since their sparring session, which was almost two weeks back. They exchanged pleasantries every now and then, but as she was behind on the training, she was always working hard to catch up. And she did, surpassing most of them.

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed by her determination; he watched her constantly from across the temple, lost in her smooth movements.

He paused as he reached her door, his hand clenched as if to knock. He wanted to. He felt that somehow, she would give him the comfort he seeked. But, he lowered his hand; she didn’t know him and he didn’t know her. She would probably think he was a creep.

Defeated, he slowly dragged himself back towards his hut, shutting the door silently behind him.

Little did he know, that shortly after the door to his hut closed, Krios opened her door, a strange feeling creeping up her spine, as if someone was out there. But no one was there. Her eyes fell onto Ben’s dark hut; furrowing her brow, she shut the door and blew out her candle, settling in for the night, a tugging feeling in her chest.

 

* * *

 

 

**Krios**

Krios sat cross legged on a canyon, overlooking a large river. Luke squatted behind her, “You’re coming along quickly.”

“I’m a fast learner,” she smirked.

Luke shook his head, “You are; I wouldn’t doubt if soon enough you would be ready to craft your own lightsaber.”

Krios’s eyes went wide with excitement, “Really? When?”

“In due time,” he assured, “For now, however, I need you to focus. I need you to close your eyes; and reach out, feel.”

Krios did as he asked. She placed her hands on her knees, and breathed in deeply, reaching out with her mind, with her heart.

“What do you feel?”

Her breath was steady as she saw images in her head, “Life. Death and decay, that feeds new life. Warmth. Cold. Peace. Violence.”

Luke was directly behind her, “Between it all?”

“Balance and energy. A force.”

She could feel the small rocks on the edge of the cliff begin to lift into the sky.

“And inside you?”

“That same force…”

Her eyes were still closed, but she could feel the raw energy around her, inside of her. The rocks lifting higher and higher.

“I feel something else, something calling to me.”

“Resist it, Krios,” Luke guided.

It was strong, the calling. And Krios felt herself being drawn to it, she was going towards it. It felt dark… and powerful. And wrong.

She quickly pulled back, her eyes opened and her breathing hitched as she saw how high up the rocks floated; small drops of water from the river below floating in front of her. She smiled, in awe, and gently touched one of the drops.

“Amazing,” Luke whispered behind her.

“What is?”

“I’ve only seen this kind of raw power in one person before,” he said, still admiring the event around them.

“Who?”

Luke simply smiled, “Do you understand the Force? And what it is?”

“Yes.”

The rocks and the drops of water fell to the ground, and she stood. Luke, still smiling at her, stated, “You know what? I think you’re ready for your own lightsaber.”

“Great! When do we start?”

Luke bursted out laughing, “Ever so eager; it’s a going to be a lot harder than you think.”

“Try me.”

 

* * *

 

 

Krios laid in bed, wide awake, thinking about the day’s events. After her one on one with Luke, he explained to her the variants of constructing her own lightsaber… and she was slightly intimidated.

“Everyone has to do it, eventually,” Luke said, “But since you’re progressing, very quickly I might add, it’s time you did it.”

Feeling slightly flustered, she slipped on her cloak, pulling the hood up and stepped out of her hut. The grounds were empty and the temple was a beacon of light in the center of the dark. She casually made her way to the steps. She observed the temple, it was empty.

She made her way to the temple’s mediation space. Krios observed her surroundings; feeling like someone was watching her. She decided to ignore the feeling, for now, and sat down, closing her eyes, concentrating on her energy. Focus.

Her meditative state was calming. Soothing. She had felt lonely since she’s been here; but then again, she was always lonely. She thought that since she’d be with people like her here, that it would be different. She still felt out of place… except with one person.

His face came into her mind, and she felt herself smile a little. Her eyes suddenly flew open and her meditation was interrupted by the feeling of unease, “What do you want, Uri?”

“What are you doing out so late?”

Krios sighed, “Are you really going to do this right now? I’m in the middle of something.”

“That was a dirty move you pulled today, taking my saber away from me,” he said, the anger clear in his voice.

Krios refused to meet his gaze, “I disarmed you.”

“She ‘disarmed’ you, Uri,” another voice said.

Krios turned, and saw Uri with two other guys; one of them was Preeyat, and the other one was Serj. She smirked, “Are you going to try to fight me, Uri?”

“And if I am?”

“I don’t see why you’d want to; you can’t even beat me in sparring matches,” she casually and calmly shot.

The boys, Pree and Serj, laughed at Uri. Krios smiled at him, and he scowled, “Maybe.”

He nodded to the two boys, who grabbed Krios by the arms and pulled them out behind her. Krios simply laughed, but her voice seethed with anger, “You need two other guys to kick my ass, Uri? Too much of a bitch to fight me, one on one?”

Uri took out a large knife, “I think I’ll start by cutting your tongue out.”

“You’d better make it fast, because once I get free, I’m going to wipe this floor with your blood, bitch,” she threatened.

Uri took a stop closer to her, and Krios quickly crossed her legs around Serj’s and pulled him down, flipping over him and tugging her other arm loose from Pree’s grip. She quickly assessed the situation, all three of them were slowly surrounding her.

Uri lunged at her and she rapidly grabbed his knife hand, twisting it, while the other two began to throw kicks and punches at her. Krios couldn’t help but think that these guys were more capable than the idiot that was caught in her arm hold right now. She deflected their attacks, relying mostly on defense instead of hitting them back.

The sound of another pair of footsteps made them all pause in their steps. Krios tilted her head when she saw Ben’s tall figure emerge, his eyebrows knitted together as he saw the scene in front of him, “What’s going on here?”

“This doesn’t concern you, _royal boy_ ,” Uri spat, Krios twisted his arm and he groaned in pain.

“Why? You gonna run up and tell your uncle?” Pree insulted, a childish tone to his voice.

Ben smirked, “How about you guys leave Krios alone, and we can forget about this.”

The boys looked over at Uri, who was still struggling to free himself from Krios’ tight grip. He shook his head and said, “Fuck no.”

Pree and Serj lunged at Ben, he dodged their attacks easily and in one sudden movement, a silver rod appeared in his hand from his belt loop, he twirled it as it turned on; hummin softly. Krios stared in awe at the glowing blue lightsaber.

The boys, and Uri, all stared at Ben in shock, “Wh—when--?

He pointed the lightsaber at them, and then Krios felt it, the use of the force. And he was using it to… paralyze them. He twisted held the lightsaber close to Pree’s face, and his eyes went wide, “How about now?”

They looked at Uri, who nodded, “Y—yeah Ben, we’ll—we’ll leave.”

Ben tilted his head, motioning for them to leave; his dark eyes fixed intently on them, full of intensity.

“Can I—Can I have my arm back?”

Krios almost forgot that she still had him in a hold, she released his arm and they all slowly backed out of the room, eyes still fixed on Ben; who still had his lightsaber raised at them.

Once they were gone, he twirled it and shut it off, clipping it back on his belt. He turned to Krios; her eyes fixed on him, both in awe and in shock.

“Are you alright?”

Krios dumbly nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Seemed like you could use the help; not that you weren’t holding your own.”

“I’ve fought worse than those fools on Coruscant.”

He smirked, “I wouldn’t doubt it.”

“Are you the only one here with a lightsaber?”

He nodded, “And if I understand correctly; you’re on your way to becoming the second.”

Krios sighed, “Skywalker told you?”

“He didn’t have to, I knew he was going to let you do it soon,” he had his hands behind his back as he walked closer to her, “You’ve been making progress, very fast.”

“He said the same thing.”

Ben’s eyes lingered on her, as if he was observing her, “Interesting.”

Krios cocked her brows, “What’s interesting?”

He stayed quiet, not answering her. She raised her brows and started, “I guess I should get some rest, then.”

Ben moved aside so she could pass. She slowly walked towards the large open area, when she turned, “Was it hard? Going into that meditative state that’s required for your lightsaber?”

She could see he was debating if he should tell her, he walked towards her, speaking softly, “If you’re in a calm state of mind, and if you remember your training; you should be fine.”

“This is all new to me, still; I’m still trying to wrap my head around it,” she admitted, slightly shamed.

“You grew up not knowing what it was, and now that you have answers, it leads to more questions.”

“You’re starting to sound like Skywalker,” she joked, and he chuckled. She slowly asked the next question, “Is he really your uncle?”

“Yes,” Ben nodded, “We try to make sure no one knows, so they don’t get the idea that there is preferential treatment; there isn’t… but you know people.”

“I do,” she agreed.

They stood in silence for a moment, when Ben finally spoke, “Can I walk you to your hut?”

“Don’t think I can take care of myself?”

“You can; but, two is better than one,” he stated.

Krios couldn’t argue that logic. So, she simply allowed him to walk with her; the company was welcome anyways.

“By the way, thank you, for helping me… that first time when we met and just now.”

Ben smiled, “It’s no problem; I’ve noticed you combine forms.”

“Yeah, Skywalker explained their usefulness, and I found it wasteful to learn just one,” she explained as they strolled onto the grounds, “I sound like a glutton.”

“No, not at all, it’s a good thing,” he assured, smiling at her.

Krios felt herself shiver slightly, and she suddenly looked away, flustered. She eyed him with her peripherals, hoping he didn’t notice her sudden bashfulness.

“I can help you, if you’d like, I can help you prepare for your trial.”

Krios paused, a few steps away from the door to her hut, “You—you wouldn’t mind?”

He stood, firmly, his hands behind his back, a slight smile on his face, “Not at all.”

She jumped excitedly. In her excitement, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He tensed, and she immediately backed off, “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to...”

Ben stared at her, his rosy lips agape. He shook his head, “It—It’s alright. It’s fine.”

He smiled at her, to assure her that she didn’t cross any boundaries.

Krios nodded, “Okay, well, I should let you get some rest.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow after training,” he said, as she opened the door.

She nodded and smiled at him, one last time, “Goodnight, Ben.”

“Goodnight, Krios.”

 

* * *

 

**Ben**

Ben sparred with Carey, trying to teach the young boy the proper way of using Form V, but he wasn’t paying attention.

Ben, irritated, paused mid attack and asked, “What is it Carey?”

Carey stared at him in awe, “Is it true? Do you really have your own lightsaber?”

Ben froze, “Who told you that?”

Carey shrugged, and Ben sighed. He nodded and Carey’s eyes went wide, “I wonder when I’ll get my own.”

“Soon, kid, I promise, you’re doing good in your training so far,” he said, placing a firm hand on Carey’s shoulder, giving him a slight squeeze to reassure him.

Just as they were about to continue, he caught sight of Luke walking towards him. He could feel the energy he was giving off, and he knew he was in trouble.

_Fuck._

“Ben, in my office, now.”

“Practice your forms, Carey, I’ll be back soon,” Ben said to the boy, who was confused.

Ben followed Luke across the training hall, catching the eye of Krios. She tilted her head in confusion, her eyebrows furrowed. He smirked slightly at her, as if to say that everything was fine.

She eyed Uri, who was sneering and she quickly struck him hard and proceeded to knock him over on his back. She didn’t bother to help him up, and she turned, stray hairs covering her face to wink at him.

He shook his head slightly, suppressing a grin as he followed Luke down the hall, and into the room he called his office. Luke sat behind his large wooden desk while Ben stood.

“I’ve been hearing disturbing rumors, Ben,” Luke started.

“What kind?”

“The kind where you got into a fight in the meditation room, intimidate people with your lightsaber and use the force to paralyze other students,” he said.

Ben sighed, “I did it in defense of another student.”

“Oh?”

“You don’t believe me?”

Luke stayed quiet, Ben cleared his throat and proceeded to explain what happened, “I was having a hard time sleeping. I went to the kitchens to get a drink; when I came out, I saw some students walking towards the meditation area. I followed them and saw that they were attacking another student, I asked them to leave. They didn’t want to, they tried to attack me. So, yes, I did it.”

“Who were the students?”

Ben stayed silent, as much as he wanted them to be punished, he didn’t want to be the one that told.

Luke nodded, “That’s fine, I know who they were.”

“Then why ask me?”

“To see if you’d tell me the truth,” Luke said, simply.

“You think I’d lie to you?”

Luke stared at Ben, as if his answer was obvious. But, Luke backtracked, “It’s not that I’d think you’d lie to me, it’s that you won’t tell me everything.”

“I told you what mattered,” Ben retorted.

Luke nodded, “Very well, you’re free to go.”

Ben exited the room, feeling irritated and angry. He was only trying to help Krios, and instead, he gets lectured on lying. It’s not like he killed anyone.

He stomped out of the temple, ignoring the stares of everyone around him. His eyes were on the ground, as he was deep in thought, that he didn’t notice her sitting on the grass outside of his hut, “Is everything alright?”

Ben looked up and found Krios, eating a pink puffball; the sight made him smile a little, “Yeah—yeah, just… things.”

“Last night?”

He nodded, and her eyes turned compassionate, “I’m sorry, if I hadn’t gone, you wouldn’t have—”

“Don’t be sorry,” he paused, meeting her Y/E/C eyes and holding her gaze, “I’m not.”

Ben saw her cheeks redden slightly, she shook her head and patted the spot next to her on the grass. Ben smirked and sat next to her, feeling his heart rate elevate, and his nervousness begin to rise, “Here.”

She handed him a pink puffball and he stared at it, she laughed and said, “Eat it; it’s a pastry.”

Ben hesitantly bit into it and was overwhelmed by the taste in his mouth, sugary sweetness and a think paste inside, “What is that?”

“They’re puffballs, I don’t know what’s in them.”

“And you eat them?”

“The woman who used to watch me, Amin, made them.”

“The woman who watched you?”

Krios sighed, and Ben rescinded his question, “That was personal, I’m sorry.”

“No no, its fine. Uh, from what I know, my father abandoned my mother, and she died giving birth to me. The woman that helped her deliver me, Amin, raised me, and various other orphans, for as long as she could,” she said, taking a bit of her puffball, she looked over at him and smiled.

“You consider her a mother?”

She shrugged, “I guess so. She did the best that she could, I don’t resent her for anything, at least _someone_ out there gave a damn about me.”

Ben nodded, feeling a little jealous. She turned to him, “What about yours? Your mother is Luke’s twin, Leia?”

He almost didn’t want to answer the question, or talk about his parents, but, she answered him, so it was the least he could do, “Yes, and my father is Han Solo.”

“Were they upset to see you leave?”

Ben leaned against the stone hut, “No, they’re the ones that sent me here.”

He could feel the sorrow seeping through, and he held it back. She must have sensed it too because she suddenly changed the subject, “Skywalker showed me different kinds of lightsaber models, in books of course.”

Ben looked at her suddenly, intrigued, “Anything you like?”

She scooted closer to him, “Actually, I saw one that looked like a staff, with lightsabers on either end, I was thinking of crafting it like I did with my own staff; you could twist off both ends and make it into two weapons… but I’m not sure if it’ll work. The construction itself, looked extremely difficult.”

“I can help you,” Ben suggested.

Krios pulled out two more puffballs from her knapsack, she handed one to Ben and bit into the other as she asked, “You don’t have to, you’re already going to help me with the other stuff. I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“I don’t mind; we can look through the temples archives, Skywalker is bound to have something in there about how to construct what you’re looking for. Mind you, it won’t be easy, but, I’m sure we can both figure it out by the time you have to get to Ilum,” Ben turned and met Krios’s stare, “What?”

“You’d do that? Just so I can get the one I want?”

“Yes,” he smiled slightly, and then his eyes met hers, and he said, in an almost low whisper, “Of course, I would.”

He wasn’t sure what it was, but he felt a strange tug. And he felt an insatiable urge to hold her in his arms and kiss her. His eyes fell on her lips, quivering and full. It was as if they were beckoning him, calling to him to feel them.

“Ben!”

Just as sudden as the moment started, it was now gone. And Ben looked up to see Carey running towards them, “Ben! I did it!”

He stopped in front of them, and tried to catch his breath; his blonde hair falling over his eyes, “I was sparring with Bree, and I actually did it. I deflected her attacks and I was able to disarm her!”

Ben’s eyes widened at his young sparring partner, “Good job, Carey.”

He smiled wide, proud of himself, and then his eyes fell on Krios, “Hi!”

Krios waved at him, a smile on her face. Carey squeezed between them and started talking to Krios, “I’ve seen the way you spar, and you are good! You fight a little on the rough side, but that’s fine, you’re tough. I like it.”

If she was getting annoyed, she didn’t show it. Ben simply sat there, watching Carey and Krios interact with one another; both of them bonding over fighting styles. Krios even handed him a puffball, and Carey hugged her, going on about what a nice girl she was and how everyone else there always tells him to go away because he was annoying. “Except for Ben, cause Ben is nice.”

Krios looked over at Ben, and he smiled softly at her, “Yes, he is.”

Ben looked down at his feet, and his eyes met hers. She was listening to Carey, but her eyes lingered on him, and he felt his breathing begin to get shaky, he felt a tugging sensation again. And he knew what it meant; it was something that his mother told him about. Something he’d never thought he would feel.

But he felt it.

And he knew he was in trouble, as much as they praised love and compassion; it was forbidden amongst the Jedi.

 

* * *

 

 

**Next Chapter** : Krios goes on a journey. Ben assesses his emotions.

**Tumblr:** _<https://kreylo-solo.tumblr.com/> _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all love this chapter. I tried to incorporate some of the Jedi forms, trials and whatnot into this chapter that I read from the Jedi Handbook. Also, there is a part here that I took from a scene in TLJ. Idk how to properly credit that, but if anyone knows, please let me know so I can correct it. <3


	4. Journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krios goes through her trials, and faces other tests of her own.

**Krios/Reader**

Krios sat in the meditation chamber; the left side of the wall opened to a small garden that she wasn’t aware of the last time she was here. It was only when Ben told her about it, that she started to take advantage of the miraculous beauty that it held… and it helped with her meditation.

She reflected back on the day’s events; training.

Her lightsaber training went as normal as it usually went; Uri still gave her nasty glares, but at least the fucker could hold his own now, kind of. She took the time to help Ben train the younger students; Carey and Bree.

Then, she spent some time alone with Ben in the temple’s archives. She watched as Ben’s eyes furrowed in concentration, reading a passage on an old Jedi text about a rare form that was only taught by chosen students, “I wonder if Skywalker knows this form.”

“Does it have any information on it?”

Ben scanned the text a little more, “No, just that you had to be chosen to learn it.”

“He was trained by Master Yoda, wasn’t he?” Krios asked, shuffling next to him, peeking at the text.

Ben smirked, “He was; but I don’t think he learned it. And even if he did, I don’t think he’d teach it to us. Much less to me.”

He ran his fingers across the text, and Krios observed his large hands, “Why wouldn’t he teach it to you?”

“I don’t think he trusts me,” Ben answered, his voice low.

Krios’s eyebrows knitted in confusion, “What? Why wouldn’t he trust you?”

Ben continued to flip through the pages the text, “It doesn’t matter,” he glanced at Krios sideways, who was unaware that she was staring at him, “What?”

She shook her head, and quickly started, “Oh, uh, I found these; I don’t know if they’re what we’re looking for, but they’re as close to what you mentioned. I think.”

He gave her a half smile and she felt strange when he did; he grabbed the texts from her and carried them over to a medium sized table near the window of the archives. Krios slowly walked after him, taking a seat across from him. She picked up a text and started skimming through it, but her concentration was lacking. Her eyes dragged themselves from the text, to Ben.

He was in deep concentration, flipping through pages of different texts with one hand, and jotting down notes with the other. She observed his hand as he did so, the smooth strokes and the neat handwriting. It was… beautiful. He could handle a lightsaber, a very dangerous weapon with ease, and he could also use his hands to create something beautiful.

Krios looked away, quickly realizing that she was staring again, and she silently beat herself up for it, What the hell is wrong with you?

It was something to think about now; what is wrong with you?

She didn’t think anything was wrong with her. If anything, she just felt strange. She felt a strange feeling whenever he was near. It had been like that since he helped her with the Uri situation.

Had it?

No, longer. Since the day he sparred with her. She felt a strange sensation, it wasn’t bad. It was just… different. Alien. New. And she couldn’t understand what it was.

She slowly opened her eyes when she felt an aura nearby, she knew the person coming to her wouldn’t harm her though.

“I was wondering when you’d get here,” she said, half turning around to face him.

Ben smiled at her as he planted himself next to her, crossing his legs, “Carey kept me; I think he’s more excited about your trial than you are.”

Krios chuckled, “He’s probably looking forward to his.”

Ben lowered his voice, as if someone could be listening, “Thing is, you’re not supposed to know what happens when you’re getting your lightsaber.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged, “I guess the Jedi just like to keep their practices a mystery,” he paused for a moment, “Did Skywalker tell you when you’re leaving?”

She nodded, “Yes, I’m supposed to be leaving the day after tomorrow.”

“Well, I think I may have found something,” he started, pulling out a text from his robes. He gently opened the text and flipped through the pages; he stopped when he found what he was looking for, “I was reading through his one all afternoon; and I found this.”

Ben pointed at the text on a shoto saber, which was a shorter form of a lightsaber, “Those are used for dual wielding.”

“Or for someone that’s short; Master Yoda used one of those,” he said, then he continued, “I found the original way to make a staff saber, however, it would be nearly impossible to make it come apart the way you want it to—”

“So, I make two shotos, one kyber crystal each, but first, I put find a part that allows for me to twist them together.”

Ben stared at her, stunned, “Yes—Exactly,” he furrowed his brow and shook his head, looking down at the text, “You should study this; you won’t be allowed to take it with you when you go to Ilum.”

Krios eyed him for a moment, “What should I expect on the trial?”

He sighed, “You’ve been practicing your meditation, which is really going to help you; especially because you need to enter the kyber crystal caves and meditate, during this time, you will experience extreme hallucinations. These hallucinations, are your test, and they won’t be easy. They separate your feelings from duty.

“A kyber crystal will call to you, don’t ignore it. You can’t just go and pick whichever one you want, they choose you.”

Krios thought about what he said, “Can a kyber crystal be split to power each shoto?”

Ben sighed, deep in thought, “I’m not sure. Kyber crystals are tricky; I know that they can be corrupted, but, if you were to split one, I wouldn’t be able to tell you if it will be as strong.”

She nodded, understanding what he was telling her, and then he continued, “Are you afraid?”

Oddly enough, she wasn’t, “No.”

He smiled at her, “Good, I know you’ll do great.”

She reached her hand out to touch him, and she immediately retreated her hand when she felt the strange sensation coming through her fingers at his touch. He was in shock as well, and his eyebrows furrowed. They both looked down at their hands.

Krios could feel her breathing intensify, and she saw his do the same thing as well. Their eyes fell on each other and she could feel it, the tugging sensation that she felt those nights ago. It was tugging her towards him.

“Don’t be afraid, I feel it too,” he whispered.

She wanted to, she yearned for it.

I shouldn’t.

Krios gasped silently and immediately got to her feet; she ran out of the meditation room, out of the temple, out to the grounds and she didn’t stop until she was in her hut, alone. She slammed the door shut behind her, wondering what the feeling she just experienced was.

It was like electricity, it overtook her senses and she had a longing to be with him.

She wanted to kiss him. She really wanted to, and the feeling scared her. What the hell was this feeling?

 

* * *

 

 

**Ben Solo**

Ben laid the text Krios left behind at the foot of her door. He felt it too, what she felt and he also felt the same way, he felt afraid. He felt afraid because he knew what the feeling was, and he knew that it was wrong.

He made his way to his hut, opening the door silently. His eyebrows furrowed when he saw Luke Skywalker sitting on his cot, “Did you have a great time?”

Ben sighed, “Meditating?”

Luke waved his hand and the candles in Ben’s hut were suddenly glowing, “We both know you weren’t doing that, Ben.”

“I was only helping her,” he admitted. He knew Luke would be able to tell if he was lying, there was no point to it.

“That’s not what concerns me,” Luke said, standing, “You are getting too close. The both of you. You think I haven’t noticed? Or felt it?”

Ben spoke softly when he answered, “We haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Make sure it stays that way,” Luke warned, “You know the rules of the Jedi, Ben.”

“I know them,” Ben scoffed.

Luke quietly walked towards the door, before he left, he turned, “Whatever it is you’re feeling, it will not end well, do not pursue anything further. That is my only warning.”

Ben watched as Luke closed the door behind him; feeling livid.

As if he needed reminding that he wasn’t allowed to feel anything, to love anyone. As if he needed reminding that he would have to live that way his whole life.

He felt strongly for her; she was… amazing. She was kind. She was strong.

Ben thought to himself, Do I love her?

He knew the answer… and it wasn’t the right answer. Not according to the Jedi.

 

* * *

 

**Krios/Reader**

Krios boarded the ship, with nothing but her supplies. Luke warned her that it may take a long time before she returned, and she was fine with it.

She sighed, looking back at the grounds, hoping he would be there.

After she ran off that night, he hadn’t left his hut, and she hadn’t tried to bother him.

You just ran off on him, of course he’s angry, she thought to herself.

But if he was angry, he wouldn’t have bothered to leave her the text.

All she knew was that she was very confused, and frustrated. She figured out a way to make the saber she wanted, but she wasn’t sure if it would work.

Defeated, she turned and entered the ship, pulling the hood of her cloak up.

“Krios,” she turned to find Carey running up to her, “Hey! I came to say goodbye, and good luck. But, you don’t really need luck, you’ll do awesome!”

He jumped into her arms, and squeezed her tightly, she stiffened when he whispered in her ear, “I put a message in your pocket.”

Carey released her and shouted, “Ok bye!”

Krios furrowed her brows, what the hell?

She checked her pocket, and sure enough, she felt a folded-up piece of parchment in her pocket. She couldn’t read it yet, not until she was alone.

Luke came from the pilot’s cabin, “I plotted the course for you, as long as you don’t touch the autopilot, you should be there and then when you’re ready to come back, it’ll lead you over here.”

“You do know I can fly a ship, right?”

He shrugged, “I feel much more comfortable with the ship on autopilot.”

Krios rolled her eyes, “Any advice?”

“Don’t die,” he joked. Krios was not amused and Luke continued to laugh, before he finally regained his composure, “These hallucinations will test you in the hardest ways possible. They are to separate the ones that will become Jedi from those who will not, that’s the point of obtaining your crystal. After you build your saber, and you return, your true trials will begin.”

“I look forward to it,” Krios replied, deadpan.

Luke stared at her, “I have confidence in you, as long as you stick to the Jedi code.”

Krios thought she caught a double meaning behind his words, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” he said, he gave her a quick bow, and descended the ship.

Krios stared after him, and just before the doors shut, she caught a glimpse of Ben. She shot him a quick smile, something to assure him that she wasn’t angry or upset, and she felt herself relax when he smiled back at her, and mouthed, good luck.

The doors shut, and the ship began to ascend into the sky.

She made her way to the small lounge area, and lazily lounged against the seat. She reached into her pocked and pulled out the folded-up piece of parchment.

Krios stared at the beautiful words on the parchment, the ink dark and dry, the words curled in cursive:

_I know you think I’m angry with you, I’m not. I could never be angry with you. You’re afraid of the bond we shared, I understand. I am too. But, you never have to fear anything from me. I would never hurt you. Good luck on your journey, I will be waiting for your return._

_Love,_

_Ben_

Her fingers lightly traced the letters on the paper. And she stared at the word; love, and she felt her heart flutter.

Did he love her?

And if so, why did he love her? They spent a lot of time together, but enough for him to love her? She wasn’t sure.

She knew she felt something when she first met him… she shook her head. She hadn’t been here long, but she knew that such feelings had no place among the Jedi.

But, she couldn’t help it.

And that wasn’t the question she should have been asking; no, she should have been asking herself, if she loved him?

 

* * *

 

 

Krios sat in the cave. Alone. She could feel the surrounding around her; the crystals that she saw glistened with life when she arrived, and shew as in awe. And now, it was like they were watching her as she meditated.

She waited, and waited.

Her thoughts went to Anim, and she felt a small smile spreading across her face. Suddenly, her eyes flew open and Anim was in front of her, laying in front of her. Krios’s eyes widened as she noticed the grayness in her skin and the blood seeping from her abdominal area.

She heard laughter, and she turned to see Juk standing behind her, a bloodied blade in his hands. She shivered, feeling her anger overtake her. He started to swing the blade at her, taunting her.

But, something was strange, different.

Krios wanted to kill him, she felt the urge. She closed her eyes, recalling what Ben told her, and she moved quickly as he came at her with the blade. Without trouble, she disarmed him, and within seconds, he was on his knees.

The blade was on his throat, and she wanted so much to kill him. Her eyes fell to Anim’s dead body; it disintegrated, and it wasn’t Anim anymore. It was a child. A boy with black hair. He was staring at her, frightened.

Krios looked from the boy to Juk, and she felt her breathing quicken when she saw who it was on his knees.

“Don’t you love me?”

Ben’s eyes looked up at her; they were malicious, they held a darkness inside of them that was almost entrancing, “We can leave the Jedi order, we can be together.”

“Kill him,” the little boy said, “He killed us all.”

Krios looked from the boy to Ben; her eyes tearing up. Her breathing intensifying.

The blade in her hand, on Ben’s throat was shaking. She pressed it closer to his throat, telling herself, this is wrong.

She sobbed silently, and instead used the knife’s handle to hit him hard across the head, and he fell to the ground.

Her eyes went back to the little boy, and she watched in horror as he disappeared into the ground. Krios turned back to Ben, his body was also being swallowed by the ground beneath her.

She felt something calling her. She heard it.

Krios’s eyes flew open. Her breathing was hard, heavy and coming out in gasps. Her forehead was covered in a thin sheet of sweat, she quickly turned, observing the cave.

It was a hallucination. The one’s Ben told her about.

She sighed in relief. Amin was safe. Juk wasn’t there. Ben didn’t kill anyone.

But she still felt the whispers. Krios turned towards the soft sound, it beckoned to her. She slowly rose to her feet and walked towards the right side of the cave. It was getting closer. Closer.

It intensified with she saw a large gleaming crystal; she observed it closely, it looked like it was two separate crystals, but they were stuck together, barely holding on. She grabbed her knapsack and quickly pulled out the tools that she needed to safely and gently, pull the crystal from the cave.

She grunted softly as she pulled it out, trying to make sure not to break it. Krios quickly went back to her spot in the cave. She removed her cloak, placing it on the ground and laying her supplies on top of it.

Krios felt her nervousness begin to rise as she stared at the components she had for her staff.

 _I can do this_ , she thought.

Pushing her doubts to the back of her mind, she quickly set to work on the construction of her weapon. Ignoring everything around her and allowing her instincts to take over; recalling every piece of knowledge that Ben helped her find. She smiled to herself at the thought of Ben, and how she wouldn’t have been able to do get this far without his help.

Her thoughts went to the disturbing hallucination she had, why would she even hallucinate about that? But, she quickly pushed those thoughts to the back of her head, feeling that the force used her fears against her, to test her.

_Yes, that was it._

 

* * *

 

 

**Ben Solo**

Ben laid awake in bed. It had been two days since she was gone, and as much as he trusted that she would be fine, he wished badly the he could be with her.

He breathed in deeply, and for some strange reason, he could feel her. It was as if he was watching over her, he could feel her deep in concentration; he could feel her allowing her instincts to help her.

He wasn’t sure if what he was feeling was real, but it felt real.

Ben turned on his side, his last thoughts as he drifted off to sleep were of her, and how Luke warned him that it was forbidden.

 _It isn’t forbidden here_ , another voice faintly whispered as he fell into a deep sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

 **A/N:**  Sorry guys, but I like to make the chapters to this story LOOOOONG :) :)

And remember, you can follow me on tumblr: <https://kreylo-solo.tumblr.com/>

**Next Chapter:**  Krios returns, and has a conversation with Ben.


	5. Conform

**Krios/Reader**

Krios switched her lightsaber on; smiling to herself. She could barely contain the excitement in her body as she swung the lightsaber.

_Or staff saber?_

Either way, her self-pride beamed through,  _I actually did it._

But, not without help, and her thoughts went to Ben, and how he would be so proud of her. She switched the saber off, and sat on the ships floor, reading the note he wrote to her before she left. She hadn’t had much time to contemplate the meaning behind it, not that she really needed to. The whole thing was there…  _was it?_

Krios groaned in frustration. What more did she need?

Things like this, feelings, were complicated. She didn’t do well with feelings. She’s never had to.

She would be back at the temple soon, and she wasn’t sure what was going to happen with her and Ben.

 

* * *

 

**Ben Solo**

It was midday, and Ben was in the meditation room, alone, observing the gardens and the creatures that pollinated the flowers.

His conversation with Luke left him reeling, still. It made him feel upset, and angry. It made him want to hurt something, someone. He knew it was wrong to feel this way, that he shouldn’t be angry. But, his emotions ran rampant, and as much as he tried to stick to the code, he found himself daydreaming about her. He saw her in his dreams and he felt a strong want for her.

“Ben!”

Ben groaned internally, “What is it, Carey?”

“She’s back! Her ship just entered the atmosphere!”

Ben quickly got to his feet and tried to keep his excitement under control; but it was difficult when he missed her so much.

He followed Carey down the stairs of the temple, his eyes falling on the descending ship. A small crowd began to gather and follow them.

“Is she back?”

“I wonder if she was successful.”

“Of course she was, have you seen her training?”

Ben smirked as he heard the other students speak; he knew she was successful. He knew she got her lightsaber, he only hoped she got the one she wanted.

The group of students stood a good distance from the ship when they observed Luke walk forward. He stood in front of the ships ramp as it descended, and Ben’s heart fluttered when he saw her step out.

She stood in front of Luke, and presented to him a silver rod. Suddenly, it glowed to life and Ben was in awe when he saw the two blue glowing lights on either end. His eyes widened even more when he saw her twist the rod, and it split into two shoto sabers.

_She did it. She really did it._

Ben’s eyes never left her as she twirled the shotos and then put the ends together to make a staff. She twirled that one around a bit, then she stood and shut the lightsaber staff off. Ben could almost see the smile on Luke’s face, and then she bowed slightly in front of him.

Luke spoke some words to her, putting a hand on her shoulder. And she smiled. He motioned for her to be on her way.

And her eyes met Ben’s. She smiled wide and she quickly ran towards the small group. She was immediately crowded by the other students, all of them admiring her work, and the intricacy of it. But, also the simplicity. It looked so easy to make, but Ben knew it must have taken her days to make.

Once the crowd dispersed, she locked her gaze on him, “Hey.”

“It looks good,” he complimented, his hands behind his back, a small smile on his lips.

She smirked, “I had help.”

Ben’s breath hitched and he swallowed, “Well, you’re the one that did it.”

He met her gaze, and all the could think of was how much he wanted to hold her in his arms. She smiled softly, “I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you.”

It was silent. Suddenly the whole planet went quiet, and it was as if it was just the both of them, alone. Ben could feel his breathing quicken, and he knew she was feeling the same.

The moment was interrupted when Uri scoffed behind them, “I wonder if you’ll show the same interest in the other students,  _Ben_.”

Ben inhaled, annoyed, meeting Uri’s stare, “If by other students you mean you, then no.”

Uri scoffed, “If it isn’t a piece of ass—”

“Uri,” Ben interrupted, taking a few steps towards Uri, towering over him. His glare hard, “You’d better choose your words carefully. Otherwise, you’ll be picking your teeth off the ground.”

They were close to each other, the tension high. Ben clenched his fist, readying himself. He felt a soft touch on his shoulder, “Ben?”

He turned to meet Krios’ gentle stare, “As much as that would be a great sight to see, he’s not worth the trouble.”

Uri scoffed. And Krios gently pulled Ben back, towards his hut. He walked in silence beside her, glancing back at Uri with a hard stare.

Once they reached his hut, they sat on the grass and Krios pulled out a medium sized white cake, splitting it in half. She handed one piece to Ben, and he bit into it. As much as he enjoyed it, he could not savor it with his anger still bubbling over, “You should have let me knock his teeth in.”

“I should have; but you already got into trouble with Luke over him,” she said, chewing on the cake.

Ben sighed, “I’ve already been in trouble with Luke.”

“What do you mean?”

He leaned his head against the stone hut, and turned his head slightly to see her. He debated if he should tell her about the talk Luke had with him. But he thought better of it, “It’s nothing; I just have a hard time controlling myself, sometimes.”

Krios eyed him, “I don’t see it.”

He smiled, “I’m glad you don’t.”

They sat in silence for a while, until Krios spoke up, hesitantly, “I—I really appreciate the note you wrote to me; I was glad to hear you weren’t upset with me.”

“Why would I be?”

Ben watched her carefully, trying to see if he could pick up the strange feeling they did last time. She shrugged, “Because I just ran off and avoided you.”

He smirked, slightly, “It’s not like I tried to speak to you, either.”

She playfully smacked his arm, and Ben laughed softly.

He watched her as she ate the rest of her cake. As much as Ben wanted to continue the conversation, he could sense that she wasn’t ready to really acknowledge it… yet. In time, he guessed, that she would. But for now, he was content to be sitting beside her.

 

* * *

 

**Krios/Reader**

Krios stood beside Ben, watching the younger students practice their forms. Since she passed her lightsaber trial nearly a month ago, Skywalker was determined to have her complete the rest of her training, however, since the rest of the students needed assistance, he recruited Ben and herself to help train them.

It was a nice duty, as she adored them. Their young spirits were always so lively, and it made her somewhat envious that she could never really have the same openness as they could.

Ben, as quiet and stern as he was, was really patient with them.

Every now and again, she would catch him stealing glances at her before going back to training. And at times, she found herself doing the same thing.

At night, they would say their goodnights, and she felt herself longing for more than a goodnight. In the dead of night, she would pull the note out that Ben wrote to her and softly graze her fingers over the word love.

She knew they needed to acknowledge it, this strange feeling between them. But it was better left alone.

That was until Skywalker confronted her about it.

It was a cloudy afternoon, and she strolled the grounds with Skywalker, informing him the progress of the students.

“It seems like they’re coming along nicely,” he complimented, a gentle smile on his face, “You and Ben are doing well with them.”

“He’s a good teacher,” Krios said.

Luke paused, “Krios, I know that there is something going on between you.”

Krios furrowed her brows, “No there isn’t. I mean, I enjoy spending time with him—he’s a good friend, but…”

He stared at her, “While you haven’t acted on them, I would advise you to please not pursue anything. You know the Jedi Code restricts it.”

“But I’m not a Jedi yet,” Krios countered.

“And neither of you will be if you act on your emotions,” he said, sternly.

Krios sighed, “No one has acted on anything, Master Luke.”

He nodded, “Keep it that way, please.”

“Out of curiosity,” she started as Luke began to walk again, “ _Why_ isn’t it allowed?”

Luke eyed her sideways, “We teach compassion and love for all; imagine this, if you had to choose between saving a planet, millions of lives… and saving the one person that you love, you would choose the person you love.”

“If lives were at stake, I wouldn’t.”

Luke smiled, “Of course you wouldn’t.”

“Do you think I wouldn’t be able to perform my duty?”

“If the life of the person you love is in the mix, then no,” he paused near a cliff overlook a valley of plains.

“I don’t  _love_ anyone,” Krios retorted, somewhat offended by what he said.

Luke eyed her knowingly, “We’ll see about that.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing.”

Krios rolled her eyes, “Cut the crap, Skywalker; just say what you need to say.”

He smiled, “ _Master_  Skywalker; and I’ve already said my piece. You said you haven’t acted on your emotions, and I believe you.”

She nodded, skeptically, “Alright, anyways, I’m not a master yet,” she smirked and Luke chuckled softly, “But, Ben and I feel that some of the other students are ready for their lightsabers.”

“I’ll monitor their progress closely,” he said, “I’m a little worried about Uri and some of his friends. They are ready for their trials, I am hesitant about their success however.”

Krios tilted her head, “Why?”

Luke pursed his lips, and put a hand on her shoulder, “No reason, but, I know there is animosity between the both of you. However, as one of my top students—”

“And favorite.”

“Your words,” Luke smiled, and winked. She knew it was true. He continued as Krios crossed her arms, “I ask that you help him. Try to help him succeed.”

She groaned, “Is this part of you wanting me to be a bigger person?”

“You’ve already showed restraint, now take it one step further and help someone you don’t like,” Luke said.

“Ugh, fine. But I  _don’t_  like it… or him. He’s an ass.”

Luke shrugged, smiling, “It’ll help in the long run.”

He stared off onto the plains, Krios nodded, “I’ll be on my way then.”

 

* * *

 

Her mind was running a mile a minute, she kept thinking about her conversation with Luke.

_What the hell did he mean?_

Sometimes she hated how cryptic he could be, and she wondered if he was like that with everyone, or just with her.

She was in the sparring room alone, practicing with her saber staff. She twirled it consistently, the sound of the humming lights was music in her ears. Her movements were smooth, acrobatic, fast; but strong.

_Love over duty? Skywalker is off his rockers._

Krios twisted the long rod on her staff, splitting them into shotos.

“I’ll still never get over how cool that looks,” Ben’s voice said, coming from the shadows.

He held out a canteen, and she, smiling, took it in her hands, taking a long gulp.

“The shotos?”

She handed the canteen back to Ben, and he smirked, “ _Sure_ , the shotos.”

Krios rolled her eyes and shut off her saber, “Why are you up so late?”

Ben’s eyes fell to the floor, before meeting hers, “I have a bit of a hard time sleeping, sometimes.”

“Why is that?”

He stayed quiet, before he spoke, barely above a whisper, “Just thoughts.”

Her eyebrows furrowed, and he met her stare. He smiled and continued, “Nothing out of place, or anything.”

For some strange reason, she felt that he was lying to her. But, she didn’t push it.

He accompanied her as she strolled out of the temple. It was silent for a few moments, as she debated if she should bring up the note. After a few moments, she started, “Has Skywalker mentioned anything to you?”

“About what?”

She shrugged, “About something,” she paused in front of her hut, “Going on between us.”

Ben stiffened, and he sighed, “He mentioned something.”

“He said something to me, too,” Krios said.

She observed Ben as he ran his hand through his dark hair, the braid on his left side lazily being pushed behind his ear, “What did he say?”

Krios was almost afraid to say it out loud. But, it was something that needed to be acknowledged. Her eyes met his; his face was in shadow, but she could still make out the intensity of his eyes, “He seems to think there is something going on between us.”

“Ah,” was all Ben said.

She took a few steps towards him, until she was half an arm’s length from him, “Is there… something going on here?”

Her heart started palpitating in her chest, and he felt the insatiable urge again. The urge to be in his arms. Their faces were close now, and Ben swallowed softly, “I want there to be…”

“But it’s not allowed,” she said, finishing his thought.

He nodded, his eyes on the ground. His hand reached out to touch hers, and she felt the strange electrical feeling she felt the first time they touched. Only this time, she didn’t run from it. She felt… calm. Safe. At ease.

She was suddenly overwhelmed by the images in her mind;  _love. Family. And by her side, Ben_.

Their eyes met, and his expression was one of shock, but familiarity as well.

Krios knew the answer to her own dilemma. And her thoughts went back to the conversation she had with Luke; _love or duty?_

As much as she wished to pick Ben, she knew what she had to do.

He nodded, “I agree.”

She tilted her head, “How did you—”

“I don’t know,” he whispered, “I just know that sometimes, I can feel things coming from you. And I feel—I feel conflict. Duty.”

“Are you angry?”

Her voice came out in a whisper. Ben smirked, and his hand softly touched her cheek, “I could never be angry with you.”

Krios tried to smile but she found the action impossible. Her heart felt heavy and she felt weak. Ben pulled her into his arms, holding her closely and tight. She could feel his breath on her hair, and she held him back, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be; we know it’s forbidden, it’s better this way,” he whispered, he pulled back slightly to look upon her face. He held her chin in his hand, “Friendship isn’t forbidden, though.”

Krios nodded in agreement, trying to lie to herself that she could live with friendship, “You’re right.”

“I’ll still be here, next to you,” he said, his voice quiet as he pulled her in for another hug.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

 

* * *

 

**Ben Solo**

Ben stayed out longer than he had planned. He lingered outside of his hut, sitting on the damp grass, his eyes on Krios’ hut. She had long since gone to sleep, and he was still reeling over their conversation.

He could feel the pain she felt deep in his bones, and combined with his own, it felt almost unbearable. But, it was something that needed to be done.

He knew it. She knew it.

If they pursued anything, it would mean the end of them and their training; any hopes of becoming Jedi would be crushed. The students that adored her would be crushed.

Ben wished he could be selfish like that.

He made the decision for her though, knowing well that she knew she had to, but didn’t  _want_  to.  

But, friendship wasn’t all that bad, right?

_You want more_ , a voice in his head whispered,  _you can have more._

Ben shut his eyes, the voice in his head always came at the times when he was emotionally weak. He tried to ignore it, but as his need for her got stronger, so did the voice.

_The Jedi Order isn’t for you_ , it said.

Ben quickly got to his feet and started to walk to clear his mind.

_We agreed,_  Ben thought to himself,  _this is what’s best._

But deep down, he knew the voice was right… he did want more.

 

* * *

 

**A/N:** Hope you all like it!

**Next Chapter** : Krios is tested.


	6. Trials

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krios is tested, in more ways than one.

**Krios/Reader**

Krios watched closely, her eyes observing Uri. As much as she hated helping him with training, she promised Skywalker that she would do it.

He came along a little better now, with her help. Of course, he would never admit it, even though he had been training under her supervision for almost a month.

Luke approached her then, tapping her on her shoulder, “How is he coming along?”

“A little better,” she answered, crossing her arms, “He still seems a little agitated that I’m the one teaching him.”

Luke chuckled, “If he gets his lightsaber, he’ll get over it and thank you for the help.”

“Maybe,” she said, feeling doubtful that he would get one.

It’s not that she was being a bitch; it’s because he lacked the focus. He refused to meditate and at times, he fought back when she tried to help him. It took everything in Krios’ body not to let him anger her; sometimes she felt the urge to smack in the back of his head with her staff.

“Have you checked out the others Ben and I recommended?”

“I have,” he replied, “And I think they’re ready for their trials. Along with Uri.”

Krios’ eyes widened, “But, he hasn’t—”

“He’s been here longer than you have and believe it or not, he has come a long way since you’ve started helping him,” Luke said, “If he doesn’t succeed; well, that’s his own doing. You did all you could.”

“If you say so,” Krios replied.

“I’m going to take those students and prep them in a small group; would you and Ben be able to handle the rest of the students?”

“I didn’t get a prep lesson,” she uttered, feeling a pang of jealousy.

“You didn’t need one,” he smiled, patting her back, “And you did get a prep lesson; not from me, but you got one.”

His eyes fell on Ben, who was twirling his lightsaber in front of his students. Krios smiled, and she could feel the heat on her face.

“Noted,” Krios scoffed, trying to keep her cool.

Luke nodded, and started, “Make sure the students meet me in the meditation room in ten minutes.”

“Anything else?”

“Go take a shower,” he joked.

Krios lifted her pit to smell herself, and rolled her eyes, “Joking about personal hygiene isn’t funny.”

“It is to me,” he cackled as he walked off.

Krios rolled her eyes, “Uri, Skywalker needs you in the meditation room. Ten minutes.”

Uri scowled at her, but he put his practice lightsaber down and headed out towards the mediation room. Krios turned and met Ben’s eyes.

He smiled at her, still twirling his lightsaber.

_What a show off_ , she thought.

But she couldn’t help but smile back and admire his skill.

_I’m better_ , Krios mouthed.

Ben’s eyebrows furrowed, and he mouthed back,  _no way_.

She walked towards him and when she was within his earshot, she started, “You do remember what my lightsaber is right? Its all about the twirls.”

“True, but have you even hit anything with it?”

“I’m going to hit you with it if you don’t watch yourself, Solo,” she retorted.

He smiled wider, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” she answered.

Ben leaned in and whispered in her ear, “Show me.”

Krios smirked at him, and then she realized why she walked towards him in the first place when she saw the looks of the students on them; intrigued and confused.

She cleared her throat and whispered to him, “Skywalker wants your students in the meditation room. He’s going to prep them for their lightsabers.”

Ben smirked and announced the news to the students. Once they all left, it was just her and Ben in the training room, “Have anything planned today?”

“No,” she answered.

“I was going to go and meditate; there’s a nice little valley below the cliffs, if you want to join me,” he said, walking backwards towards the door.

“I don’t really want to meditate,” Krios said, following him and throwing her arms on his shoulders, so he could drag her.

He laughed, “We don’t  _have to_  meditate.”

“No?”

She could feel herself melt when his hands gripped her arms and he rubbed them, walking backwards out of the temple as she dragged herself in front of him. The sun hit his face in the most wonderful angle and she saw a shimmer in his eyes.

“Skywalker will kill me if he finds out, but I took some snacks from the kitchens; since I know you ran out of yours by sharing with me,” he said, still smiling at her.

“I didn’t mind,” she assured, “It was the least I could do.”

A sudden thought popped in her mind, “Oh my—I feel so stupid, I can just ask Anim if she can send me some more; that way you don’t have to worry about getting into trouble.”

“Why can’t you just let me do something nice for you?”

“Fine, fine; I’ll do it later,” she said, pulling her arms off of Ben’s shoulders and hooking one around his, “How far away is this valley?”

“A mile or two out,” he answered, unhooking his arm from hers and placing it over her shoulder.

Although they both agreed to be just friends, it seemed that being just that was proving to be harder than they thought. For Krios, it was constant touching, she could not keep her hands to herself when they were alone. It was small things at first, like just gently patting his hand, and as the month progressed, she began to get bolder and would throw her arms around him.

He often returned the gestures of affection. Sometimes she would catch him looking at her with a glint in his eye, deep in concentration, and he would smile.

They knew it was wrong, but, as long as they didn’t fall in love, or do anything else besides their friendly touches, what harm could it do?

_They were only friendly hugs_ , she thought to herself, as she leaned her head against him.

“Please tell me you brought some water,” she said.

She looked up at Ben, and his eyes went wide, “I forgot.”

“Ben—”

“I’m joking, I have some right here,” he quickly said, pulling out his canteen.

She smacked his side, “What is it with the jokes?”

“You make it too easy,” he said.

Krios was in awe when they finally reached the valley. It was a grassy area, with patches of flat rock jutting out every now and again. The river that was below the cliffs where the temple was, ran right though the valley, “It’s so beautiful.”

“Yeah,” Ben whispered.

She turned to look at him, and found him staring at her again, his lips pursed into a half smile.

Krios grabbed his hand and led him towards the river’s banks, pulling their shoes off and splashing their feet in the water. Eventually, Ben began to tickle Krios and they fell into the water, drenching themselves completely.

Ben looked at Krios, and she immediately splashed him. Ben started splashing her back, his eyes closed, trying not to get anymore water in his eyes.

Krios stood and began kicking water at him. He began to sputter and she quickly ran off.

“You’re going to pay for that one,” Ben shouted.

She could hear his footsteps close behind her and then she felt his strong arms around her stomach, lifting her up, “Remind me again, how are you better than me? I just caught you.”

He twirled her around and she laughed, “The only reason you caught me is because I let you.”

Ben put her down, turning her to face him. Krios stared into his dark eyes, “Is that so?”

She nodded and his gaze turned intense. His hands grazed her cheeks, slowly until his fingers traced her lips, “I shouldn’t want to do this.”

Krios’ heart started frantically doing jumps in her chest, or at least that’s what it felt like. She swallowed hard, “Do what?”

“What I’ve been wanting to do since I met you,” he whispered, drops of water falling from his hair onto his skin. The sun reflected off of the tiny drops, giving him a luminous look.

“And… why don’t you?”

He leaned his forehead against hers, his lips slightly grazing hers, “Because then I won’t want to stop.”

Krios’ hands went to his own. She wanted to; she really did. Every cell in her body urged her to just kiss him. It was just a kiss.

But a kiss would mean the end of her duty, it would cement what she was trying to avoid. She had a duty. She breathed in deeply, “I really to; but—”

“We shouldn’t,” he said, his lips quivering. He pulled back suddenly, his chest heaving up and down, “I’m sorry, Krios. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t—”

“Ben,” she whispered, reaching out to him, “No, don’t be sorry—”

“No, I am, we agreed to be friends and not pursue anything; but,” his eyes met hers and they were watery, he pushed his hair back out his face, his braid hanging loosely, “I look at you and I—I just feel something. I feel… I feel good. You—make me feel alive, and its stupid because I feel like I can’t breathe when you’re not around—”

He stopped, catching himself before he said anything else, and Krios felt the tears around her eyes, “I—I—”

“You feel the same way, don’t you?”

Krios wanted to say yes, she wanted to admit her feelings for him. But they agreed. They couldn’t.

“I know you do, Krios,” he said, reaching out and grabbing her hands, holding them against his own cool grip, “I can feel it.”

_Tell him, tell him he’s right you fool_ , she thought to herself.

And just as she was about to, all she could see was Luke Skywalker’s face, telling her that she would not choose her duty over love. She took a breath, and said, “We shouldn’t be doing this, Ben. It’s wrong. We know it is.”

“We don’t have to tell anyone, Krios,” he said, “We can hide it from Skywalker—”

“Ben,” Krios whispered, “Please.”

He sighed, frustrated. And then he closed his eyes tightly, “I’m sorry.”

Krios stood rooted in her place, feeling terrible and out of place. She could see the look of heartbreak in his eyes, “Ben, I just don’t want—”

They were interrupted by Skywalker’s sudden voice. They looked up in time to see him standing a few yards away, “Krios, I need to see you at the temple. Immediately.”

Her eyes met Ben’s stoic stare. And she turned to follow Luke, feeling the surge of panic course through her body as she followed him. It was quiet for most of the walk, “How did you know where to find me?”

“You’re my apprentice, Krios, all I need to do is reach out and feel you,” he said.

“And, what is this about?”

Luke remained silent.

_I’m done for_ , she thought,  _he knows about my near kiss with Ben._

When they reached the temple grounds, Krios felt her heartbeat quicken even more. And she watched the students all stare at her, with looks of sadness in their eyes.

Luke led her into his office and offered her a seat, before shutting the door. He went over to the back of his desk and pulled out a bottle. Without much say, he uncorked it and poured some of the light liquid into two cups.

He handed one over to her and she took a sip, “Master Luke, what is this about?”

“Do you remember what I said a few months ago, about the reason why Jedi don’t have relationships outside of the order?”

Krios nodded, putting on her poker face, and trying her best to block out her thoughts.

Luke took a sip from his cup and continued, “A Jedi’s life is about serving the people, the light side of the force, and often times, attachments can hurt us. They make us feel pain. They make us feel fear… and they make us feel anger. All aspects that plunge even the best of Jedi into the dark side.”

He paused, and his eyes met Krios’, they were full of sorrow and regret. Krios swallowed softly, “And why are we having another lesson on this?”

“Because what I’m about tell you is—it’s a cruel test that you will have to face,” Luke said.

Krios could feel herself getting more nervous by the minute.

_Duty over love_ , she thought to herself.

“Krios—there is no other way to say this but, I received word today about your guardian,” he whispered.

“Anim?”

He nodded, and he came around the desk, kneeling beside her, “Krios—She’s dead.”

Krios thought she misheard him, “Wh—what?”

Luke sighed, rubbing his face, “Anim, she’s dead.”

“No,” she said, placing the cup on the desk, “No, she’s not; you’re just messing with me. Trying to test me.”

“Reach out, Krios,” he gently guided, “Feel with your emotions; see the truth in my words.”

Her eyes were on him, and she did as he said. She tapped into the force, searching. And her breath came out in huffs when she realized the extent of the truth. Tears slipped from her eyes, “The children too?”

Luke’s eyes fell to the floor as he nodded, a solemn expression on his face.

Krios could barely breathe, “Who?”

“The outlaw, Juk; it seemed he didn’t like the fact that I ran him off, and—”

“He killed them all because I wasn’t there,” she said, the tears coming out harder now, “I wasn’t there to protect them.”

“No—Krios, it’s not your fault—”

“Don’t you dare, Luke Skywalker!”

She shouted, pushing the chair back and standing up, anger surging through her body, “All of this happened because I left them there, alone! Juk and his bitch followers only ever messed with me but they never messed with Anim or the children, and now because you brought me here they’re all dead!”

“I understand you’re upset, Krios, but it is important that you do not give in—”

Krios slammed her fists on the desk hard, and started shoving all of Luke’s papers on the floor. Shouting at the top of her lungs, her anger taking hold of her, controlling her. There was only one thought in her mind, kill them all.

“Krios, control your emotions,” Luke firmly said, “It is not part of the Jedi Code to—”

“FUCK THE JEDI CODE!”

She quickly stalked out of the office; stomping her way out of the temple. She could feel the eyes of the students on her, all of them whispering in frightened tones. But none of them mattered, not right now. All that mattered was getting back to Coruscant, and killing Juk.

She would do it slowly, she would make him suffer.

Her rage was blinding that she didn’t realize who she bumped into. Ben’s voice was distant in her mind, “Krios?”

She continued to stalk off, vaguely aware of Ben trailing behind her, “Krios, what happened? If you got in trouble because of me, I’ll tell Luke it was my fault.”

As she reached her hut, she remained silent; saving her anger for Juk.

She pushed the door open and immediately began to gather her belongings, “Krios?”

Krios continued to ignore Ben, sweeping the small room with her eyes, making sure she packed all of her belongings in her knapsack. She began to pull her cloak over her when Ben’s hands grabbed her firmly by her shoulders, “Krios, what happened?”

For a small moment, Krios was drawn out of her daze, and she let out a small sob, “They’re dead. Anim is dead. The children are dead.”

Ben’s eyes widened and he quickly pulled her in for a hug, holding her tightly. After a few moments, she pushed him back, “I need to go, Ben.”

“Go where?”

Krios, doing one last double take, nodded and left her hut, stomping towards the ship on the edge of the cliffs.

“Wait, are you going to kill them?”

She didn’t answer.

Ben continued to follow behind her, “Krios—look I understand you’re angry, but you can’t just leave. You know you can’t.”

“I can,” she seethed, “And I will. I’m going to kill those sons of bitches, and I won’t make it fast either.”

“You know this isn’t the way of the Jedi, Krios—”

Krios stopped in her tracks and turned to face him, “And what is the way, Ben?! Am I just supposed to stay here while those fuckers roam free?! Alive?!”

“Yes! As much as you hate it, that’s the only way!”

“I didn’t see you saying that when you were trying to kiss me earlier!”

She could see Ben’s face wince slightly, but he quickly shrugged it off, “That’s besides the point, Krios. You chose duty over that… are you going to make the same choice again?”

“This is different, Ben, children were murdered!”

“Krios, I understand you’re upset—”

“Stop! You sound just like Skywalker right now and I’ll be damned if I let you or that dickface tell me what I can or can’t do!”

Krios turned, heading towards the ship. No one was going to stop her, there was no way.

That was what she thought, until she saw darkness, and she felt herself quickly be caught by his arms.

_You son of a bitch._

* * *

**Ben Solo**

Ben didn’t mean to do it; hell, he didn’t want to do it. But he knew that he had to. He knew that Krios would have gone back to Coruscant and slaughtered them all, and then, she would have lost her way, fallen completely to the dark side. Into the arms of the darkness.

He refused to let that happen to her, as much as he faced his own darkness, he refused to let the only light in his life fall to it.

He felt her, before he put her to sleep. He felt her anger towards him. And who could blame her?

Her head lay nestled on his chest as he carried her limp body back to her hut. Carey came trotting down and he opened the door to Krios’ hut for him. Ben gave him a slight nod of appreciation, and Carey quickly ran off, understanding that she needed to be alone.

As he laid her gently on her cot, Skywalker entered the hut, watching Krios sleep, “Is this your work?”

Ben nodded, “I had to stop her; she wouldn’t have stopped herself.”

Luke pursed his lips, “She didn’t even  _try_ to stop herself.”

“Her guardian was murdered, the children she took care of were murdered,” Ben said, in her defense.

Luke turned to him, “That doesn’t mean that she can just walk off when something happens—”

“You would do the same thing for Leia,” Ben interrupted, his voice deep and threatening, “Cut her a break, Luke, it’s not like you sprung it on her because she had to know, you told her just to test her.”

He put his hands behind his back, “It’s part of the trials.”

“You don’t find that cruel? To test her by giving her news of her guardian’s death and then throwing a fit just because she reacted in anger? We all have anger, Luke,” Ben said, his voice level, and firm.

“Yes, but she didn’t stop herself,” Luke retorted, his green eyes holding Ben’s gaze, “What’s to say that she won’t stop herself when she wakes up again?”

“You are her Master, as you are mine, and to say that about your apprentice, shows how much trust you lack in her,” Ben paused, “And in myself.”

Luke stayed silent for a moment, his eyes falling on his sleeping apprentice, “I trust her, and I trust you. I just don’t trust your actions.”

He turned to leave the hut, when he paused, “I will be taking the students to craft their lightsabers on Ilum; I will be accompanying them as I need to make a trip to gather more supplies. The temple, and its remaining students, will be under your charge. And if she ever recovers from this; it will be under her charge as well. I put my faith in both of you, do not disappoint me, Ben.”

Ben watched as Luke closed the door behind him, leaving him alone with Krios. He sat on the floor next to her cot, watching her.

Carey came by a few times to check on them and bring them food, until nighttime, when Luke rounded up his students and left the planet.

Ben left the hut for a moment, if only to tell the remanding students to practice their forms and turn in early tonight. He retrieved a text from the archives and made his way back to Krios’ hut, when he arrived and turned the knob, he found that it was locked.

He reached out with his mind, feeling for her. She was there, in the darkness of her hut, alone.

“Krios?”

There was no answer, but he knew she was there. He sighed, speaking through the door, “Krios, I’m sorry. I had to do it.”

No reply.

Ben felt her; he could feel that her anger was gone. All of it was replaced with sadness. Guilt.

There was not much he could do for her now, so he resolved to sit on the damp grass. In case she decided that she needed him, he would be right there.

 

* * *

 

 

**A/N:**  Well, that sucked. I mean, she was tested twice, and she did ok the first time, the second one just destroyed her. :( I wonder what would have happened if Ben hadn’t put her to sleep…

**Next Chapter:**  Krios tries to deal with her internal struggles.


	7. Kindle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krios tries to deal with her internal struggles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could not stop myself. I have no regrets, though. You all will like this one, I know I did. XD I have also linked recommended music in bold… look for this>>[x]

**Krios/Reader**

**[[x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgMM32MbMRM)]** Krios lay wide awake in her small cot; her mind was a jumbled mess of emotions. One moment she felt anger, and the next she felt sorrow.

She normally prided herself in controlling her emotions, but as of late, she has been failing miserably.

Late at night she tossed and turned, begging for sleep to comfort her in its arms. During the day, she laid, still awake. Her eyes on the ceiling, occasionally looking out of her window at the rolling clouds in the sky or the stars twinkling against the inky darkness.

At different intervals in the day, she would vaguely hear the soft knocks on her door, and a jumbled voice that she could barely understand.

She recalled that night when she got the news about her guardian, about Anim, and every time she did, she was overcome with the mix of emotions and the anger rose again. It rose at the fact that Anim and the children were dead, and there was nothing she could do about it. It rose that when she thought that this was what her life was going to be, letting those she cared about die, without any repercussions.

Her anger rose when she thought about what Ben did; and just as quickly as it rose, it diminished when she thought about why he did it. It fell when she thought about that day, in the valley as they splashed the water underneath the warm sun.

And she was left with an overwhelming sadness once again.

_Is this what the Jedi is? Ignoring your desire, family, friendship… and possibly… love?_

 

* * *

 

**Ben Solo**

Ben refused to leave the spot he was in. It had been almost a week since he had last seen Krios. She refused to eat, and she never came out of her hut.

He left occasionally to train the students, and even then, he made sure the training was on the grounds instead of in the temple sparring room; just in case Krios needed him.

She never did.

It was late at night when Ben heard the door open. He pretended to be asleep at hearing the footsteps approach him. He could hear her breathing as she closed in on him, more than likely checking to see if he was sleeping.

He listened closely as he heard her footsteps retreat. Once she was at a distance, he opened his eyes and turned his head, barely making out her retreating shadow in the darkness.

Slowly, he got to his feet and very quietly followed her as she made her way towards the cliffs. His heart began to beat fast with fear,  _what is she doing?_

There was suddenly a bright flash of blue as she lit her lightsaber. She slowly began to twirl it and Ben was mesmerized by her fluid movements; smoothly twirling the saber with finesse.

Ben began to walk closer to her; she quickly turned and swung her saber staff at him. Ben could see the anger in her eyes, and he realized what he had to do. He swiftly summoned his saber to his hand and lit it, blocking her hits.

He allowed her to angrily swing at him. He allowed her to vent out her frustration as she shouted angrily. The end of her staff saber collided with his own, and they were at a standstill, the lights of their sabers touching, the humming filling the air. Ben’s eyes caught hers, and they were familiar; for he had seen that look many times in his own eyes before and he felt heartbroken.

Ben whispered to her through the humming of the lightsabers, “Let it out.”

He watched her breathing intensify as she pushed him back and swung at him. She began to get sloppy and Ben easily was able to block and deflect her hits. Finally, she twirled her lightsaber and powered it off, falling to the ground on her knees, the staff saber rolling out of her hands.

Ben shut his own saber off and kneeled in front of her, watching her as she sobbed loudly. He pulled her into his arms, his eyes closing as she consistently whispered, “It’s all my fault. I couldn’t save them.”

He pushed himself back to get a good look at her; he pushed her Y/H/C hair out of her eyes and gazed into her distraught Y/E/C eyes intensely, “It’s not your fault. Do you understand me? None of this is your fault.”

“But it is—I—what am I going to do? I can’t even go and kill him because it’s against this fucking Jedi Code!”

_It’s not against an assassin’s code_ , the voice in his head said.

He tried to shake those thoughts from his mind, and opted for another way, “We’ll leave it to Luke; he’ll find a way to make sure Anim gets the justice—”

“Skywalker would have us kill each other if it meant upholding his stupid code!”

Ben sighed, “That’s not true and you know that, Krios.”

She sobbed, silently, and her voice was a whimper, “I—I—I hate not doing anything about this.”

“Do you trust me, Krios?”

Her puffy, red eyes met his, pleading and sad. She slowly closed her eyes and nodded, “I do.”

His hands gently stroked her cheeks, “Then leave this to me. I’ll figure something out, ok?”

Reluctantly, she nodded. Ben pulled her into his arms, squeezing her tightly, “Let me take you back to your hut; you need some rest.”

“I’m fine,” she said.

“You’re lying,” he retorted as he stroked her hair, “I know you haven’t been sleeping. I can hear you at night.”

It was quiet for a moment. When she spoke her voice was small, “I don’t want to go in there tonight.”

“Where do you want to go then?”

“The meditation room; I really like the garden there,” she whispered.

“I’ll take you there,” he gently responded as he summoned her staff saber and pressed it into her hands. He helped her to her feet and picked her up, carrying her towards the grounds, and into the temple. Her head leaning against his chest and her hands gripping the front of his robes.

When they made it into the mediation room, Ben carefully set her down at the edge of the room as he opened the large doors to the gardens and lit the lanterns, illuminating the open area with a soft blue glow. He pulled off his cloak and laid it on the ground near the entrance to the garden.

With gentle hands, he slowly pushed her down on the cloak, making sure she was comfortable, “Is this fine? Do you want me to grab you a pillow from Luke’s office?”

“No, this is fine,” Krios exhaled, her voice exhausted.

“Alright; do you—uh do you want me to leave?”

“No, I want you to stay,” she whispered.

Ben was about to sit cross legged against the wall when her voice sounded in the dim light, “Can you come here?”

“With you?”

“Yes.”

He felt his confusion sinking in, but he obeyed and slowly walked over to her, “Do you need me to get something for you?”

Krios’ puffy eyes met his as he turned on her back, “No; I just want you to lay with me.”

Ben suddenly felt extremely awkward, “Um—How—where—”

“Just lay down, Ben.”

He did as she was told and laid down next to her, feeling his heart begin to beat fast at the closeness. He crossed his arms across his chest and he felt like he was about to pass out when she casually grabbed his arm and draped it over her as she turned over.

“Hold on to me,” she whispered.

Ben pulled her closer to him and adjusted his other arm so she could have something to lay on, his voice trembling as he softly asked, “Is that better?”

“Yes,” Krios answered, nuzzling into his arm and bringing his other hand to hug her waist. He could feel her body begin to relax as she entered the beginning stages of sleep; still, she managed to mumble, “Don’t let go, Ben.”

“Never,” he soothed, after she was long asleep.

 

* * *

 

**Krios/Reader**

Krios could feel his eyes on her. She could see him through her peripherals, and she smirked to herself.

She sensed how nervous he was when he fell asleep with her last night in the meditation room, the sound of the rustling leaves in the gardens blowing gently. The dim blue lights lulling her to sleep; and she could feel him.

She sighed, her words and eyes on the children in front of her. But her mind was on him.

Surprisingly, she felt a little better today. She still felt a tinge of anger and sadness, but Ben’s encouragement and patience helped her begin to cope. It wasn’t something that she could forget easily, she still wanted Juk dead… but, maybe Ben was right, maybe there was another way.

Once the students began to practice, she walked among them, to properly observe them. Her eyes fell on Ben, and he smiled shyly.

“Alright, kids, training is done for today,” Krios called to the students, “Use your free time to practice and meditate.”

Within seconds, the kids left the training room. Krios strode towards Ben, “Hey.”

“Hey,” he answered, picking up the training sabers the children left behind.

“Thanks for the breakfast,” she said, recalling the beautiful arrangement of sweets and comfort food that was left next to her as she slept, with a beautiful note.

He smirked, “You’re welcome.”

They stood for a few moments, in silence. She could feel the something bubbling between them, a pull that was overwhelming. She breathed in slowly, “I uh—I also wanted to thank you; for last night—for—”

Ben smiled gently, his eyes admiring her, “It’s not a problem.”

Krios could feel her facial features soften, but she also felt something else. Appreciation. Gratitude… and an overwhelming feeling to touch him… to kiss him.

Ben started, “Listen—I’m sorry about putting you to sleep that day—I was—”

“I know, Ben,” she whispered, “It took me awhile to understand; but I get it,” she paused, stepping closer to him, “Thank you. You don’t have to do the things you do for me; and you still do. Especially after—after what I did  _that_  day.”

Ben ran his fingers through her hair, and then he softly traced the outline of her lips, “I put you in a tough position that day, I should have exercised more restraint. But—”

He paused, Krios could see him struggling with himself, and he sighed heavily as he retreated his touch from her skin, “But we already set some ground rules, you were just trying to follow them.”

Krios felt the longing in him, and in herself. Ben swallowed, “I—uh—I need to go check on the kids.”

She watched as he swiftly left the room. Krios stared after him.

_Duty over love_ , she thought.

_Is it really worth it?_

* * *

_Is it really worth it?_

It was a question she was thinking about all day. Even now, in the meditation room she pondered the question; thinking of all the possible answers. Her eyes were closed in concentration and she was alone.

_Serving the greater good._

_Becoming a legend, like Luke Skywalker._

Maybe it was worth it.

Her mind went to Ben’s smile.

She could feel her lips pull up, and she swore she could still feel his touch linger. She thought about the way he held her when she fell asleep in his arms.

She could have something better than being a legend.

Her body responded at the touch and she felt her breathing quicken at the thought of being with him. At the simple thought of his eyes on her.

Krios slowly opened her eyes and she gazed upon the garden in front of her.

She chose duty already.

**[[x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqWYwYdw8SY)]** “Find what you’re looking for?”

Krios swiftly turned to find Ben standing at the doorway, she smirked, “Kind of; still pondering.”

Ben slowly made his way towards her. He sat with his knees up, leaning his arms on them, “What is it you’re pondering, exactly?”

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to answer him, but she felt the words come out before she could stop herself, “Us.”

Ben’s eyebrows furrowed, “Us?”

Krios felt her fingers begin to tremble, still, she kept her breathing even, “Yes.”

Her eyes met Ben’s, who was looking at her expectantly, “You were right, that day in the valley. I do—I do feel the same way.”

“I know,” he whispered, he cleared his throat and continued, “I also know that I would be placing you in a difficult position if I try to—”

“But you wouldn’t, Ben,” Krios assured.

Ben sighed, “I would.”

“You think you know my mind better than I do?”

“I think I know you well enough, Krios,” he retorted, “This is what you wanted. This is what I’ll give you.”

“And what do _you_  want?”

She could see him ponder it for a brief moment, “It doesn’t matter what I want; you were right, its about what is right.”

He quickly got to his feet and walked out of the room, rubbing his face. Krios swiftly followed behind him, “Is that why you stopped me from going to kill those people? Because it was right?”

Ben kept walking, picking up his pace and Krios almost had to run to keep up with him. He was shuffling down the stairs now, “Answer me, Ben.”

“Yes, that’s why I stopped you,” he replied, not slowing down. They crossed the grounds now, towards his hut.

“Bullshit.”

He abruptly came to a halt outside of his door, “What do you  _want_ , Krios?”

“I want you to stop lying to me!”

“I’m not lying about anything.”

“Well you’re sure as hell not telling me the truth!”

Krios could see Ben’s eyes fill with frustration, “You already know the truth!”

“Then, say it!”

“Why? So you could reject me again? So you could pull away from what  _you_  want? As much as you say you hate the Jedi Code, you’re an even bigger slave to it than I am!”

Krios’ jaw dropped slightly before she retorted, “I don’t see you breaking any of the rules!”

Ben closed the distance between them suddenly and pulled her into his arms, his eyes met hers for a brisk moment. Then he pressed his lips against hers, crudely, one hand on the back of her head while the other grabbed bunches of her hair. He pulled away roughly, “I just did.”

Krios was left muddled for a moment. When she finally came back to her senses, Ben was already inside of his hut. She quickly followed after him, observing him as he sat at his cot, his face in his hands.

“Ben?”

He was silent. His eyes staring at the wall in front of him.

Krios slowly took a seat on his cot next to him, “I’m sorry I pushed you, Ben.”

“You didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do,” he whispered.

She took his hands in hers and his eyes fell on their intertwining fingers. His eyes slowly met hers, and he continued, “What do you want, Krios?”

She swallowed roughly, feeling the nervousness in her body, “I don’t—I don’t want to choose duty over you anymore.”

She paused. Her hands gently pulled away from his, “I—I want you, Ben.”

Krios slowly pulled him towards her. Tenderly, she pressed her lips against his; so soft and smooth, his breath was warm on her own lips.

His hands cradled her face, and she ran her own through his dark hair.

She pulled away slightly, watching the blue dim light from his lantern cover half of his face in shadow. His eyes were intense and fixed on her. She slowly pushed her cloak off of her shoulders, and then began to tug at the knot in front of her robes. She let them fall onto the cot and Ben’s eyes widened, “Wait, Krios…”

She paused, and he softly spoke to her, “Is—what are you doing?”

She shyly began to cover her breasts, “I’m sorry—I’ve never… I’ve never done this before.”

Ben’s hands grasped her arms, “And we don’t have to; you don’t have to do this to prove you want to be with me.”

Her eyes met his, “I’m not; I want to do this… if you want to.”

She sensed Ben’s nervousness grow, and his bottom lip quivered. His hands began to tremble on her arms. He slowly brought them to his own robes, pulling them off.

She tried not to stare, but it was impossible not to. His chest was large, and smooth. She saw the muscles rippling beneath his smooth ivory skin. His breathing was uneven, and he awkwardly sat in bare in front of her, his hands on his sides as he pulled down his trousers.

He leaned in towards her, cradling her face in his hands as he tenderly kissed her. His hands went to the small of her back, and he gently pushed her back on the cot. He leaned over her, his lips still on hers. Ben pulled away, sitting up on his knees as he stared at her, “I—I don’t know what I’m doing.”

He seemed embarrassed by the revelation, and Krios touched his face, “Neither do I.”

He smirked at her, still seemingly shy. She closed her eyes, trying to relax herself as she pulled her arms off of her chest. His eyes fell to her breasts and he quickly looked away. Krios giggled, “You can look, Ben.”

Ben slowly allowed his eyes to graze her body. She watched him as he admired every inch of her and his fingers lightly traced her skin. Krios slowly opened her legs, and Ben’s eyes shifted away again, trying not to stare at her private area.

He gulped, and she placed her hand on his face again. His eyes met hers then, and he suddenly leaned over her, using his elbows to support him. He kissed her again, this time, he kissed her fervently. She could feel his hardness against her own heated, throbbing area.

The sensation she felt down there was strange, but oddly enough, it was also nice. He paused from kissing her, admiring her face, and lightly grazing her lips.

Slowly, he let his hand graze down towards her sex. He shyly began to lightly trace it, and then his fingers searched. Krios shivered at his touch, and she let out a small gasp when he found what he was looking for. Her eyes stayed on him as he grabbed his hardness. He began to guide it into hers, and she gasped loudly. Ben immediately paused, “Do you—do you want me to stop?”

Krios stubbornly shook her head, and whimpered slightly, “No. Keep going.”

Ben furrowed his brows, but he continued, slowly pushing himself inside of her. Krios shut her yes tightly, and grasped the thin sheets on Ben’s cot, trying to control her breathing and relax her body.

Her eyes opened when she heard Ben’s own gasps. His lips were slightly agape, and his body began to tremble, “Are you alright?”

Ben nodded, “I’m just—I’m just nervous. I’m scared that I’m hurting you.”

“I’m fine, Ben,” she whispered, trying to make her voice level.

He nodded again, and he continued. Gently pressing himself deeper inside of her. She felt the pain intensify, and she tried to hold in her gasps. Ben’s eyes were on her now, and he slowly began to thrust. His movements were gentle, and eventually, Krios felt her body begin to relax as she adjusted to his size.

She stared at him, his gaze locked on hers. His breath was coming out in deep pants; he leaned down to kiss her. His hair was matted on his head from the sweat building up on his forehead. She couldn’t help but admire how beautiful he looked; from the slight trembling of his lips, the darkness and intensity in his eyes, he way his features were relaxed.

She admitted it to herself, that she loved him, and he loved her; she knew he did. He showed it to her every day. And nothing anybody said would change that.The Jedi Code would not stop that, not anymore. 

 

* * *

 

**A/N:**  So, I’m sorry I didn’t warn about the lemons… I wanted it to be a surprise for you all. <3 I hope you enjoyed this chapter. XD


	8. Sparks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krios and Ben explore their relationship.

**Krios/Reader**

Krios laid her head on Ben’s large chest. His fingers lazily grazed the skin on her back, the touch made her close her eyes in pure bliss. She was happy right now, the happiest she had been… even though she was in pain.

“Are you alright?”

She smiled, “I’m fine, Ben, you don’t need to keep asking me every ten minutes.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, planting a kiss on her head, “I just feel like it hurt you.”

“It did; when it was happening,” she soothed him when he started panicking, “But I’m fine now, Ben.”

His breathing was calm and level, “Krios—”

“Call me Y/N,” she whispered.

She felt his breath still and she looked up at him, “Y/N?”

“That’s my real name; my first name. Krios is my last name.”

Ben chuckled, “And why are you just now telling me this?”

Krios shrugged, “You saw me naked, might as well tell you my first name… but if you tell anyone else that, I will hurt you.”

Ben gently nudged her off of him as he leaned over her, “If it means hurting me by doing more of this,” he whispered, planting soft kisses on her neck, “Then I guess I’ll tell everyone.”

She pinched his shoulder and he laughed softly, “No, I just won’t do this with you anymore.”

“That’s fine,” he said, still kissing her neck, “As long as I have you.”

Krios smiled to herself as he continued to kiss her, pressing his lips against her collarbone, and then slowly moving down to her breast. He cupped her other one while he placed the other in his mouth, gently nibbling on her nipple. He continued to move lower, on to her stomach. Krios groaned, “What are you doing?”

“Mm, I’m kissing you,” Ben murmured as his lips trailed down to her abdominal area, “And I want to kiss you down there, too. If that’s ok?”

Krios nodded, closing her eyes as she felt his lips against her area. She felt… funny. She giggled as his tongue slipped into her slick folds. Her giggling subsided when he pushed his tongue on her sensitive clit. Her giggles turned into gasps, and then moans. She tried to keep her voice low, but she couldn’t help the sounds that escaped her. Ben gently traced her thighs with his fingers and she shivered as she felt his tongue move faster and faster on her.

There was a strange feeling inside of her. She felt… warm. No, not warm, hot. There was a heat spreading from her private area to her body. Her back arched against the bed as she felt the heat intensify and then an alien feeling overtook her. It was like an explosion, and she shouted as it was released.

Her breathing was fast and heavy, “What—I think I had an orgasm.”

Ben looked up at her, wiping his mouth, “You did.”

“Get in there, now, Ben.”

Within seconds, she felt his hardness inside of her again. It was still painful, but not nearly as painful as it was when he first did it over an hour ago. They both groaned loudly, and Ben was still gentle, trying his best not to hurt her.

It was like that for the rest of the night, over and over again they went. Not wanting to stop, completely enraptured in each other under the pale moonlight, and when they finally had enough, they drifted off to sleep.

 

* * *

 

**Ben Solo**

Ben awoke to the sound of Krios’ movements. His eyes fell on her naked form as she lazily stretched. He quickly pulled her closer to him and she giggled, “Ben.”

“Y/N,” he softly began to press his sleepy face into her hair.

“We have classes to teach today,” she whispered.

“I’ll cancel them.”

She stayed quiet for a moment, “Do you think Luke will find out?”

Ben’s eyes slowly opened. He observed her worried expression, “He won’t.”

“He says he can feel things, because we’re his apprentices—”

“Block your mind,” he simply said.

She turned to stare at him, “How?”

“Control your emotions; discipline your mind. Don’t have an obvious emotional reaction when you see me.”

“We can’t tell him?”

Ben sighed, laying on his back and rubbing his face, “We can. But, we’ll get kicked out of the Jedi Order for it. Is that what you want?”

He turned to look at her now, and she was deep in thought. Finally, she exhaled, “No.”

Ben could see the sudden guilt in her face; he chuckled to himself, “Hey, it’s alright. We can keep this a secret. No one else has to know.”

“But, I don’t want to.”

“I know,” he began to lightly trace her lips, “However, it’s necessary if we want to stay in the order.”

“You won’t hate me for it?”

“I could never hate you, or be angry with you for anything, Y/N. I’ll do this, for you. We’ll figure it out,” he consoled her, bringing her back into his arms and kissing her softly, “I love you so much.”

He could feel her body shiver, “As do I, Ben; but, as we are keeping this a secret, I think it’s time I went back to my hut.”

“I change my mind,” he joked.

Y/N laughed, planting a kiss on his forehead. She climbed out of bed, groaning and wincing, “Are you alright?”

“Just a little sore,” she answered, “Nothing a hot bath can’t fix.”

“You want to wash me off of you? I’m insulted.”

She rolled her eyes, with a smile on her face as she pulled on her robes. He started at her beautiful body, and he felt the heat in between his legs begin to rush. Her eyes fell on his hardness before he could cover it, “Really?”

“Sorry, it’s just—you’re—”

“I like it,” she gushed, “At least I know I look good naked.”

She pulled her cloak over her, adjusting her hair, “So, no practice today?”

“No,” he answered, sitting up in his bed, motioning for her to come closer. He took her hands in his and looked up at her, “But I do want to spend my day with you.”

Y/N nodded, planting a kiss on his forehead, “I would like that too.”

She kissed him hard and he couldn’t help but run his hands all over her body, “I have to go, Ben.”

He nodded, planting a soft kiss on her hand, “I love you.”

“I love you.”

His eyes were on her as she carefully opened the door and made sure the grounds were empty. Swiftly, she slipped out of the room and he was left alone. But, for the first time, he didn’t mind. Because he wasn’t alone, not really.

He laid back on his cot, his hands behind his head as he closed his eyes, picturing her. He felt his heart beating fast, and a small smile spread across his lips.

She loved him. And that was enough for him.

 

* * *

 

The students jumped with joy at the news. It was rare that they ever got time to themselves, not having to worry about practicing or their education.

“Do you think Skywalker will get pissed when he finds out?”

Ben shrugged, throwing his arm around Y/N’s shoulder as they walked towards the river, “He might. But, I can just tell him I had them meditate or something. Besides, it’s just one day.”

“One day of training they’re missing out on—”

“You weren’t objecting this morning.”

Y/N smacked him playfully on his arm and threw herself on the soft grass. Ben planted himself next to her and pulled out some snacks from his robes, “They’re not like the ones your guardian made, but I gave the people in the kitchen the best instructions possible.”

He watched as her eyes concentrated on the pink puffballs. Her eyes got teary and she leaned in to hug him tightly, “Thank you.”

Ben closed his eyes tight, “I’m still trying to find out what happened; but it seems I keep running into dead ends.”

“You don’t need to—”

“I made a promise to you, Y/N, and I’m going to do everything I can to keep it.”

Y/N sighed, “It still hurts, and sometimes… sometimes I have…”

She trailed off, and he sensed that his was a difficult thing for her to speak of, “Yes?”

“Nothing, don’t worry about it,” she smiled, taking a bite of the puffball, “This isn’t too bad, actually.”

Ben smiled at her and leaned in to kiss her. It was sweet, and soft, “I’m sorry; I can’t help it.”

Y/N chuckled, “I don’t mind. I like it.”

She suddenly pounced on him and he was on his back. She straddled him, one leg on either side of him, “I want to try it like this.”

“We can do anything you want,” he whispered, gripping her thighs.

Y/N quickly pulled his pants down, and then her own. Her hands gently grasped his hardness and began to stroke it, up and down. Ben moaned softly, the feeling was amazing. And then, she gently lowered herself onto him and he let out a shocked gasp, “Ohhh.”

“Do you like it?”

Her voice trembled slightly, “I do.”

He closed his eyes tightly. His toes curling inside of his boots. His hands gripping her thighs harder as he pushed into her… and then he released. His eyes opened as he orgasmed, and he felt his embarrassment overtake him, “I’m—I’m so sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“I—It was—I—”

There was a sudden sound overhead, both Y/N and Ben looked up into the sky. A ship flew over them… Luke’s ship.

“Shit,” Ben said.

Y/N quickly climbed off of him and pulled her pants up, “I should get back, to avoid suspicion.”

“Go, I’ll stay here,” he agreed as he stood, pulling his own trousers up. As she was about to leave, he grabbed her hand and pulled her in for a kiss, “Remember, control your emotions. Block your mind.”

She nodded, her lips still on his, “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Where?”

“Look for me,” she whispered, both of them sharing another fervent kiss. She finally pulled away, walking backwards, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he called out after her. He smirked to himself as her cloaked figure ran off.

When her figure was just a speck in the distance, he turned towards the river. He cupped his hands together and rinsed his face off, wetting his hair as well, pushing it back.

He took deep breaths; he could do this. He could hide this from Luke. He had to.

_He will find out… and you will be responsible for destroying her future._

His eyes widened at the voice. He hadn’t heard it in a while; since he was laying outside of Y/N’s hut, watching over her.

But what if it was right? What if Luke did find out?

 

* * *

 

**Krios/Reader**

Krios made it back to the temple in time, she was out of breath, and tired, but she made it. She lazily leaned against her hut, trying to steady her breathing. Ben’s words rang in her mind, control your emotions.

It was a lot easier than she imagined it would be, and she shoved all thoughts of Ben from her mind.

She watched as the group of students descended from the ship behind Luke. It was different from her arrival, as most of the students broke into a run when they reached the grounds.

Her eyes fell on Carey as he showed off his lightsaber to the group of students that stayed behind. She smiled softly, knowing full well that Carey was going to earn his without a doubt, he was a strong kid.

Krios’s eyes fell on Luke as he made his way to her, “Feeling better?”

She shrugged, “What the hell can I do, right?”

Luke’s eyes filled with sympathy towards her, “The hardest lesson is doing nothing when all you want to do is tear the world apart.”

“Is this a lesson you learned first-hand?”

She didn’t mean for the question to come out spiteful, but she didn’t realize how upset she still was until Luke brought up the fact that she couldn’t do anything about it.

“I understand that you’re distraught over this ordeal, and I’ll have you know that I personally went to Coruscant…”

Krios stared at him, “And?”

“He’s been arrested and sentenced, as have his accomplices,” he took a seat next to her on the grass, “I wanted you to know that just because we can’t do anything about these things, that doesn’t mean that others can’t.”

“It’s not as satisfying as my knife slitting his throat,” she paused, taking in his worried expression. She sight and continued, “But, it’s a start. It’ll do.”

Luke patted her shoulder, and observed the students, “How has training gone?”

“I’ve only just started leaving my hut,” she informed, “But, Ben has been doing pretty good with them.”

“Has he?”

Krios kept her voice level and her emotions in control, “From what I’ve seen, yes. Better than I have, anyways.”

“You’re out now, that’s all that matters. And you’re still you,” he assured.

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

Luke sighed, “Events like this, they tend to bring out the worst in people. They tend to pull one over to the dark side.”

“You were worried I’d be pulled over?”

“Somewhat; I have that fear for every one of them. Living under the Jedi Code is never easy,” he started, staring at every one of the students, “I don’t think any of them fully understand what they’d be giving up; you can never marry. You can never see your family again. You will never be allowed to sire children… things that don’t matter to them, will begin to irk at them later on, when they’re alone.”

Krios stared at her master, a twinge of sympathy overcame her, “Is that how you feel, Master Luke?”

He smirked gently, “You can find a sense of family among the Jedi; we are all brothers and sisters here. Every Master, Apprentice, Knight and Padawan; we all look out for one another. That is what a family does. You may have lost yours on the outside, Krios, but you still have us.”

Krios pursed a smile, and she suddenly felt a little better now. Her anger with Luke was diminished at his words, “You’re not mind tricking me, are you?”

Luke laughed, “I don’t think I’d be able to, you seem to have a handle on yourself way better than before I left.”

“I practiced.”

He nodded, and his eyes fell on Uri, who was stalking towards his hut, slamming the door shut behind him. Krios sighed in disappointment, “He didn’t succeed, did he?”

Luke shook his head regretfully, “There’s too much darkness in him. He will have another chance, but he will require extra training. I feel you’ve done all you can; I’m pairing him up with Ben. Maybe he can get through to him.”

“What makes you say that?”

“A story best left for another time, my young apprentice,” his eyes scanned the grounds, “Where _is_  Ben?”

“He mentioned something about meditating,” she answered blankly, shrugging her shoulders.

“I see,” his eye fell on the distance, and she turned to see Ben slowly making his way back to the grounds. His hair was pushed back and slick with water, and he had his hands loosely held on his sides, “I expect you will be training with the rest of us tomorrow?”

“I’ll be there.”

Luke got to his feet and nodded at Krios. He swiftly made his way towards Ben, no doubt informing him of his new student. She could see Ben’s reluctance until he finally nodded, rolling his eyes. She tried her best to control herself and not stare at him, but their eyes met for a brief moment, and it took everything in her not to make her body scream with desire.

She quickly turned away, luckily, Carey came bouncing up the trial to her, “Krios! Look!”

He lit his lightsaber, which glowed a nice shade of green; and he swung it, twirling it, making it hum smoothly, “Congratulations! I knew you could do it.”

She got to her feet and pulled the kid in for a hug. He blushed at her words, shutting his saber off, “Well, I had some good teachers.”

Krios tried her best not to blush. She patted the kid’s head, messing up his blonde hair, “I’m proud of you.”

“I can’t wait to show Ben,” he said, and then his voice fell to a whisper, “Did you hear about Uri?”

She nodded, “I did.”

“I feel bad for the guy, he really was looking forward to it.”

Krios shrugged. It was hard to feel pity for someone she didn’t like, someone that literally wanted to kill her, “It happens; maybe he’ll get another shot.”

Carey smiled and agreed, “I hope so; I’ll see you later, I want to go and practice with Bree.”

Krios watched as he ran off to Bree. Her peripherals fell on Ben, who was now making his way towards his hut. Their eyes met again, and she bit her lip reflexively. Ben smirked, changing his course and coming up towards her, “You don’t make things easy, do you?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

Ben rolled his eyes, “You’re being coy.”

“I’m going to meditate tonight, I feel like it’s been awhile since I’d been in that  _nice_ room.”

His eyes widened, and she could sense his skepticism. So, before he could say another word, she swiftly made her way towards the large group of students, looking over her shoulder to see him staring longingly and desperately after her.


	9. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke discovers a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the late chapter, and if I’m being honest, this one doesn’t have much dialogue. I wanted to focus on emotions and whatnot. I hope you all like it though! By the way, I coudln’t think of a good song to put in this chapter. :( but if you have suggestions, please tell me so I can add them!

**Krios/Reader**

Krios stretched her legs, her back cracking with the motion. Ben chuckled next to her, his face was illuminated under the blue glow of the outdoor lanterns that were set in the garden.

They both knew they ran the risk of getting caught, but Krios and Ben both knew that it was rare for anyone to come meditate in the dead of night, anyone but them.

“What’s so funny?”

Ben’s fingers traced her skin softly, “Nothing, you just—I’m just so—enraptured by everything you do.”

Krios scoffed, sitting up and letting the thin blanket fall to her waist, “So if I were to burp right now…”

“I would think it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve heard,” he finished for her, his fingers still grazing the skin on her back.

She stayed silent for a moment, “Luke said Juk was arrested.”

Ben’s fingers stopped, “And how do you feel about that?”

Krios shrugged, running her hands through her hair, “I mean, I guess I should be happy. But I still feel angry… I still wish I would have killed him.”

Her eyes met Ben’s. He closed his eyes for a moment and he slowly sat up, rubbing his face, “I know a thing or two about being angry.”

She smirked, hugging her knees, “What are you so angry about?”

Ben sighed, “Things.”

Krios’ eyes narrowed, but she didn’t push the subject, “I heard you’re going to train Uri from now on.”

“Yeah,” he said, a hint of frustration in his voice, “Luke thinks I could help him a little better.”

“He says that maybe you could get through to him.”

Ben’s eyes rolled slightly, “Of course he would say that.”

Krios got the sense that maybe there was something about Ben that she didn’t really know. And the thought of not knowing something about the man that she loved, it bothered her. Normally, she wouldn’t have pushed the subject, but her curiosity won her over, “Why would he say that, Ben?”

“Like I said, Y/N; I know a thing or two about being angry. Uri feels the same way, for what reason, I don’t know. Skywalker seems to think that maybe I could help him manage.”

Krios stared at her Ben’s face for a few moments. His gaze was fixed on the end of the blanket, and she gently pried, “Do you manage?”

Ben pursed his lips, and his eyes met hers, “To the best of my abilities; but,” he leaned in to her, planting a soft warm kiss on her lips, “Being with you helps.”

For the first time since she had met him, he seemed like he was a broken boy. His eyes were sullen as he leaned his forehead against hers. His voice was just above a whisper when he confessed, “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Krios’ hands held his face; she admired the slight pout of his lips and how his eyes were watery, “I am with you, forever. It’s both of us together.”

“And if I get kicked out of here?”

“I’ll come with you,” she answered without hesitation. She climbed on top of him, pulling his arms around her and placing her own over his shoulders, “Anywhere you go, I’ll follow.”

Ben broke down in front of her, and Krios held him close. He pressed his lips hard against hers, his hands gripping the skin on her back, “I love you so much, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Ben.”

Krios slowly kissed him, sweet and sincere. Unaware of the world around them, not a thought of anything else. The only thing that mattered in this moment was the both of them.

 

* * *

 

Krios and Ben spent the last two months sneaking in and out of each other’s huts in the dead of night. It was a miracle that Master Luke hadn’t caught on to their relationship. It wasn’t for lack of trying, she could tell Luke had paid more attention than needed on both of them.

And they were both careful not to make their affection for each other obvious, making sure that they kept their public confrontations civil; only being affectionate with each other in the dead of night, when the grounds were silent.

Each night they made love, they fucked, they had each other in the most intimate of ways; sleeping together and sharing their words of undying love to each other.

As much as Krios despised it, she knew it was what had to be done.

Still, it didn’t stop Ben from stealing a few longing glances at her when they trained in the temple.

Ben’s time was mostly occupied with Uri. It was almost disturbing, but Krios realized that maybe Ben was the best candidate to help him move forward, as Uri was progressing better with Ben as his mentor than he did with Krios.

The rivals suddenly held a new-found respect for one another, and were even close to becoming friends. It didn’t stop Uri from shooting ugly glances her way, albeit he only did it when Ben wasn’t around or when he wasn’t looking. Other than that, he was relatively amicable.

“How are things going with my young apprentice?”

She turned from Ben’s gaze to speak to Luke, making sure to control her emotions, “Fine, as well as I’ll be at least.”

Luke nodded, “I would like for you to take a quick break from your duties for a few moments, come take a walk with me.”

Krios was slightly nervous, but she suppressed the feeling and followed after Luke. Her gaze met Ben’s and he smirked at her.

_How is he not worried?_

She followed Luke out of the temple, out towards the grounds, “So, what is the reason for this sudden walk, Master Luke?”

Luke smiled at her, as he strolled across the grounds, “I feel you have progressed immensely since the moment you arrived here. You moved up rather quickly, catching up to Ben’s level.”

Krios shrugged, “I guess so.”

“You have, which is why I am thinking of granting you the title of Jedi Knight.”

Krios paused in her steps, “What—you—what?”

Luke chuckled at her obvious confusion, he grasped her shoulder, his eyes were kind and gentle, “You and Ben have shown great loyalty to the Order.”

She couldn’t believe it; the news wasn’t something she was expecting. She suddenly felt lightheaded and hot, “And what does that mean?”

“It means that once the title is granted to you, you are no longer my apprentice; you can take on your own apprentice, and you are free to travel the galaxy. All in service of the Order of course.”

“And—is Ben being granted the same title?”

“He is consideration, just as you are; yes.”

Krios did her best to hide her excitement; all she could think about was exploring the galaxy with Ben. They wouldn’t have to worry about being discreet all the time…

Luke eyed her suspiciously, and suddenly, she felt sick to her stomach. Without warning, she upheaved her breakfast.

She fell on all fours, feeling slightly disgusted at herself for throwing up in front of her Master. Luke’s hands were on her back, patting her gently, “Let it out, you’re fine.”

Once she finished chucking out the rest of her breakfast, she slowly stood on her feet. She breathed in slowly, feeling really lightheaded and weak. Luke’s eyes were fixed on her, “What?”

“Are you alright, Krios?”

She shooed the question away, “I’m fine; probably just nerves from the news.”

Luke stared at her, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes wide. Krios tilted her head at his gaze, and he quickly spoke, “Get some rest, Krios. We will speak later.”

Without much more interaction, Luke walked into the temple, as she stared after him dumbfounded.

Had she given herself away?

If she had, what was going to happen to her? What would Luke do to her? Was he going to kick her out?

She felt her stress levels hit the roof and opted for taking Luke’s advice on getting some rest. Her eyes fell on the pile of vomit that was being absorbed by the ground and she felt another urge to throw up.

Quickly, she made her way to her hut to lay down, suddenly feeling very sick. Once her head hit the pillow, her eyes widened. It wasn’t the nerves that made her throw up.

She counted back the days… it had been awhile.

_It wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be._

* * *

 

**Ben Solo**

Ben hadn’t seen Y/N since she walked out of the Temple. And even then, he hadn’t seen her for the rest of the evening, not even for dinner. At that point, he began to get extremely worried.

Without much thought, he began to head out of the temple after dinner, watching as the stars and moons twinkled in the distance, showering the grounds in a silver glow. His heart began to beat fast as he neared her hut, the faint glow of candlelight shining from underneath the door.

His heart beat fast and he knocked in anticipation at seeing her, holding her, and kissing her.

The door opened and the smile on his face dropped at the person that opened the door.

Her belongings were there, but she was nowhere to be found. Her lightsaber was gone, which meant that maybe she went out to spar. He thought hard to himself, realizing that there was only one place she could have gone.

Before he could go look for her however, he heard the Uri’s voice calling out to him.

Hesitantly, he turned and walked towards his student. Ben barely heard a word that Uri spoke, his mind racing at the thought of why he hadn’t seen Y/N all day, and feeling slightly upset at the fact that he might not be able to see her tonight either.

He feigned interest in Uri’s conversation, but it was difficult to, when all he wanted was to hold Y/N in his arms tonight.

 

* * *

 

**Luke Skywalker**

Luke had planned to confront Krios. But, he hadn’t seen her since he saw her last, when she was on all fours belching up her breakfast.

The sight confused Luke, and he almost believed her when she said it was her nerves.

But, Luke was a Jedi Master, and he knew his apprentices a little better than to believe that Krios would vomit over nerves. And there was no way she was sick.

He gently pried into her mind when she wasn’t paying attention, after she thought he had left. All he heard from her mind was a worried thought if she had given herself away.

_Given herself away at what?_

That was the question that Luke Skywalker pondered all day and half of the night.

For hours he stayed in his study, trying not to jump to conclusions. But, it all made sense when he thought about it more and more. He left them both alone, on a planet without supervision. He knew prior to leaving that there were feelings brewing between the both of them.

When he returned, he should have suspected why she was blocking her mind from him. He lied to himself by thinking that it was over the death of her guardian.

It was because she was trying to hide her true feelings for his nephew. And if he confronted either of them without solid proof, he knew that they would block their minds, denying everything.

That in itself was enough to raise suspicion in him, and he felt foolish for not catching it earlier.

_Could it be possible that she was, however?_

He knew the answer to that.

The only question was, what was he going to do about it?

He knew the answer to that one as well; Luke continued to knock on Krios’ door. He reached out, thinking that maybe she wasn’t answering because Ben was in there with her. Slowly, he opened the door, and to his surprise, there was no one in there.

Luke reached out, he felt her, but she wasn’t near.

Ben was close, however.

Without much hesitation, he made his way towards Ben’s hut; this wasn’t the only thing he needed to confront him about.

 

* * *

 

**Krios/Reader**

Krios breathed in slowly, just as she had for the past two hours.

She didn’t know what to do or who to talk to. The thought of the possibility frightened her. The longer she laid in her cot, in the small enclosed hut, the more worried she got.

Krios refused to enter the temple, afraid that Luke might end up stumbling upon her thoughts; especially with the way he looked at her when she was throwing up outside of the temple, as if he didn’t believe that it was because of her nerves.

The fear in her heart overcame her, and her eyes fell on her reflection in the water. The moons raised high above her. Slowly, she closed her eyes, allowing herself to relax.

_Feel_ , she told herself.

Krios allowed the force to overtake her. She felt everything around her; just like she did when she was on the cliff with Luke.

Light, and dark.

Death… and life.

Life.

A tiny heartbeat.

She dug deeper, and found that the tiny heartbeat was coming from within. Not hers… but something else. Something else inside of her.

Krios’ eyes flew open, her breathing was fast and heavy as her hands slowly touched her abdominal area.

She guessed it.

And now she knew it… she was pregnant.

Her fear was mixed with excitement. She cried tears of joy, and she laughed uncontrollably, “Oh Y/N, you’ve gone and done it now.”

Krios sobbed silently to herself now; she was going to get kicked out of the Order. And Ben? What would she tell Ben?

She knew he would give up the Order if she asked him to, but the thing was, she didn’t want to. The Order was the closest thing to a family she had.

_And Luke._

She couldn’t bear to think of the disappointment on his face once he realized what happened between her and Ben, even though she was almost sure he knew already.

Still, her mind went back to the small life that she carried inside of her.

Krios wiped the tears from her eyes, opting to continue meditating. If she was going to tell Ben, and come clean with Luke. She needed to calm herself.

 

* * *

 

**Luke Skywalker**

Luke entered Ben’s hut, mildly surprised that he was sleeping. He knew that his nephew had a rough time sleeping, it wasn’t news. It was something that he refused to get help with, and Luke never pushed him.

A sudden idea came to mind, and he reached out into his nephew’s mind.

The images that he saw surprised him; images of Ben and Krios, falling in love. Ben feeling complete with her. The notes he sent her. The time they spent together. The time he waited outside of her hut for her. The love they made.

He sighed, somewhat disappointed in his apprentices, but not shocked. It all made sense now. It all made sense why Krios was sick… she was carrying his nephew’s child.

And Ben had no idea.

His expression softened at his nephew; knowing that there was a darkness inside of him and he managed to control it with Krios.

He didn’t need to kick them out, all he needed to do was punish them—

His thoughts were interrupted by a sudden darkness pulsing through him.

Luke looked down at his nephew, and what he saw now… this horrified him. He saw destruction. Fear. Death. He saw the darkness that was overtaking Ben and the lives of the millions of people he would destroy.

Unconsciously, Luke lit his lightsaber. He had to kill him. He had to kill Ben. He was going to destroy the galaxy.

And in an instant, the feeling was gone.

Luke, ashamed at himself, stared at the lit lightsaber in his hand.

But that most shameful thing, was the look on Ben’s face.

Luke’s eyes met those dark ones of his nephew’s, they weren’t the eyes of a killer. They were the eyes of a frightened boy.

In an instant, Ben’s lightsaber was in his own hand.

“Ben, no!”

Their lightsabers collided, and the last thing Luke saw was Ben’s hand clench, and he felt the heavy pile of bricks fall over his body… and then darkness.

 

* * *

 

**Krios/Reader**

Krios’ eyes opened slowly. Her breathing was calm, collected.

It took a while, but she felt better.

She felt like she finally had the strength to do what needed to be done.

Her eyes fell on her reflection again,  _duty, or love._

_Why can’t I do both?_

Krios smiled to herself; and then, a sudden tugging urge pulled at her. She clasped at her chest in pain, her breath coming out in short huffs. She wasn’t sure why, but she suddenly felt fear.

She quickly stood to her feet and turned. There was something wrong. Something wrong at the temple. She couldn’t feel Luke. But she felt Ben, and he was afraid. Angry.

_What the hell?_

Krios quickly grabbed her staff saber and ran as fast as her legs could take her towards the ground.

She sensed there was trouble.

She sensed the chaos unfolding on the grounds far from her; she pushed her legs to move faster, she needed to get to them. She needed to get to Ben. She needed to be with Ben.

“I’m coming, Ben,” she said, softly. The sky lighting up in the distance in a bright orange hue.

Krios’ eyes widened at the sight, but she never faltered. Her mind was focused on getting to him. She had to.

 

* * *

 

 

A/N: Hope you all enjoy this!

Dont forget, you can follow me on _ **[tumblr](https://kreylo-solo.tumblr.com/)**_!


	10. Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I made this one long to kinda close off the end of the first part of the story, now we are entering the second part, when shit is like whaaat? I hope you guys don’t hate me for some of the things I did here. :( There is a surprise POV towards the end, and I hope you guys like it. Also, I have linked recommended music. Look for this–>[x] I hope you guys like the linked song, I think it fits Ben Solo/Kylo Ren perfectly.

**Ben Solo**

**[[x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy_XQH9Jtuk)]** Ben stood in the center of the crowd of students, all of them coming out of their huts to see what the loud noise was. Their eyes widened when they saw Ben’s hut was reduced to a pile of stone. One of the other older students, Ritter, stared at Ben suspiciously, “Where’s Master Luke?”

At the name, Ben felt his eyes narrow; the fury inside of him building, “Skywalker tried to kill me.”

The people among the group were muttering, whispering.

“You’re lying!” The voice was Carey’s, and he continued, pushing himself through the crowd. His eyes fell on the pile that used to be Ben’s hut. His eyes widened in horror, the realization hitting him, “You have killed our master!”

Ben looked down at his glowing lightsaber, his hooded eyes met Carey’s again, “Join me; Skywalker would have you throw everything away for his beloved Code that he can’t even follow!”

“You’ve gone mad,” Bree spoke, silently; pity in her voice.

“We believe him.”

The crowd gasped, parting. Uri stood there, with Serj and Pree. All of them staring at the students that were resisting. Uri walked towards Ben, with the other two following behind him, “Ben has no reason to lie; Skywalker has been targeting him since he arrived here, just like he targeted us.”

“What are you talking about, Uri? You’re not seeing things—”

“Shut it, Bree! If Skywalker is dead, then good! He didn’t teach me anything, Ben did! Ben has helped all of you, and you would turn your back on him?!”

“This is wrong, Uri,” Ritter said, “Luke is our master, he would never—"

Ben lifted his lightsaber, pointing it at Ritter, “No, Rit, I’ve seen the hypocrisy that is Luke Skywalker, he has betrayed me and he will betray you!”

“You’ve turned to the dark side,” Ritter pointed, the conviction clear in his dark eyes. He took his stance, as if he was getting ready to fight him.

Ben sighed, trembling, “Ritter, I don’t want to fight you.”

“You say that, but I don’t see you lowering your lightsaber,” Ritter retorted, lighting his own saber, “I won’t let you corrupt me, or the rest of them.”

“They can choose their own paths, Ritter.”

“You’re trying to make them choose yours, that isn’t much of a choice,” he said, taking his form.

Ben knew Ritter was strong, but he was stronger, “If you want to fight, then so be it.”

Ritter’s lightsaber clashed with his own. The crowd dispersing as they let the duel commence. And then, the fight began. Ritter wasn’t fast, but his blows were heavy and hard, they hit forcefully against his own.

Ben dodged, recalling his own training. Ritter came at him, never letting up, continuing his barrage of hits. Ben heard the voice in his mind, egging him on,  _End him_.

_End them all._

_They don’t believe you, they will all kill you._

Ben yelled in anger, and in an instant, he let held out his hand, slamming Ritter against the pillar in the temple. Ritter’s lightsaber flew inside the building, knocking over the candles. Ben didn’t pay much attention to it, until the glow of orange started to brighten up the sky.

The rest of the students began to panic, their eyes on the fire and on Ben. He looked down at Ritter, pointing his lightsaber at him, “One last chance.”

“Or what? You’ll kill me?” he spat, “Go to hell, Ben.”

There was something inside of him telling him to stop, but the urge to kill him was stronger. The voice was right, he had to do it.

Ritter’s body fell limp as soon as the swing of Ben’s lightsaber decapitated him.

The students all began to stare at him; horror and anger in their eyes. He twirled his lightsaber in his hands as he prepared for the oncoming slaughter, watching the students light their own sabers.

As they ran towards him, he was suddenly aware of Pree and Serj lighting their own sabers, Uri took out his knife, beckoning the students, daring them to come to him.

And they did.

Ben was fueled by white hot rage; he didn’t see faces. All he knew was that they betrayed him. And they all had to die.

Every last one of them.

 

* * *

 

**Krios/Reader**

Krios was out of breath by the time she arrived back on the temple grounds. Her eyes widened when she took in the horror in front of her; the temple was set ablaze and the students fought with other students.

Her eyes searched for Ben, but she was suddenly taken aback when she saw Bree and Carey near her hut fighting Uri, Pree and Serj.

Instinctively, Krios rushed towards them. She jumped as she lit her staff saber and blocked the incoming blow from Pree.

She instantly moved to protect Carey and Bree as she knocked Pree to the ground and grunted, “What the fuck are you doing?!”

Uri strutted towards Krios, laughing as he twirled a lightsaber that wasn’t his in his hands, “Oh, I’m going to enjoy killing you, bitch.”

Her eyes locked on him, using her peripherals to make sure that Bree and Carey were safe, she spoke low, so only they could hear her, “Stay behind me, don’t try to get in the way.”

Uri quickly began to lunge at Krios, followed by both Pree and Serj.

Krios deflected their blows with ease, twirling her staff saber and using the acrobatic moves of the fourth form to dodge their attacks. She was quick, limber. And to her surprise, so were they, especially Uri.

His fighting style was the same as Ben’s; not as graceful or precise, but similar. Strong, unrelenting.

She found it almost difficult to hold her own against not only him, but all three of them. Somehow, she managed; thinking of the fact that if she failed, the kids behind her would die.

It wasn’t until they lunged at her sides that she realized they were not only trying to kill her, but the kids.

It was a weakness she had at the moment, to keep them safe. A weakness that Uri picked up on, as he repeatedly tried to lunge at the children.

Krios felt the anger again, Ben’s anger. And it consumed her, she channeled it, tapping into the rage; she pushed Uri and Serj down, using the force to send Pree flying fifteen feet back. As she did, however, she felt a singing pain in her stomach.

She let out a shout of pain, her hand grabbing the large gash that singed her robes and cut her stomach deep. Uri moved forward, the lightsaber in his hands held over his head as he prepared to deliver a hard blow. Krios lifted her staff saber, wincing in pain as she did so. The lightsabers clashed, sparks flew everywhere and Uri smiled, “How does it feel to be on the other end now?”

“Fuck you,” Krios grunted.

Uri’s eyes burned with hatred, and he quickly lifted his lightsaber. Then, in that instant, he brought it back down as it smoothly cut the metal of Krios’ staff saber. Her eyes widened when she saw the lighting instantly go dark.

But, Uri’s lightsaber kept going, and she gasped when she saw the bottom half of her right arm fly to the side, part of the metal of her saber still held in its grasp.

Krios fell to her knees, her eyes open in shock as she stared at the stump that used to be her arm. Uri stood in front of her. His eyes were dark, but she could see the look of malice and hatred there as he twirled the lightsaber.

The lightsaber swung down and she was suddenly pulled back. Bree shouted at Carey, “PULL!”

She felt both of their arms pull her back swiftly and lay her down. Krios groaned, “No… Bree, Carey, run. Go.”

But they refused to listen to her, instead drawing their sabers.

Bree was the first to fall. Krios’ eyes widened when she saw the lightsaber glowing from inside of her.

“No,” she groaned silently.

Krios grabbed Bree’s saber as it fell near her.

She held it in her left hand, doing her best to adjust to the size of it.

Uri, Serj and Pree all laughed, “Look at that, she still won’t give up.”

“I can see why Ben liked you,” Uri said, “But, you’re really getting on my nerves.”

Carey stood beside her, holding his lightsaber up. Krios ignored the pain in her stomach and the numbness she was feeling on her right side, focusing on her left.

But, it was useless. Her left hand was used to the size of the shoto, not a full lightsaber; especially since she was off balance. The fact that her right arm was missing was suddenly throwing her off.

Regardless, she jumped into the fight, barely managing to keep up. Carey was fighting alongside her, deflecting blow after blow. But, he knew as well as she did, that they were both going to die soon. Carey’s eyes met hers for a brief moment, and he mouthed,  _I’m sorry._

He held out his hand, and in an instant, she was blown back into a hut. The last thing she saw before the piles of rocks fell on her, was Carey’s sad face and the three lightsabers that were coming down behind him.

 

* * *

 

**Ben Solo**

Ben was on his knees in front of the temple. His breathing was rough, heavy and uneven. He wasn’t sad; he was angry.

His rage that was a simple churn was now a burning flame inside of him. He hated them all; his mother for lying to him, his father for never being there… and Skywalker, who stood over him with his lightsaber, ready to murder him.

He hated the students who refused to believe him.

His thoughts were filled with fury, that he almost forgot about her. _Y/N._

Quickly, his head shot up. He felt her earlier; he felt her pain, her anger, her sorrow… he slowly got to his feet, trying to sense her, but he felt nothing.

Ben’s breathing quickened,  _no, no she’s alive_.

He scanned the eyes of the dead that were scattered around the grounds, but he never saw her. In the distance, Uri, Pree, and Serj made their way towards him with three other students, “These three offered to join us.”

Ben looked at the three students, all of them staring at him. But, he ignored them, scanning the grounds, searching for her.

“Looking for someone?”

Ben eyed Uri, who was staring at him suspiciously.

Of course, he didn’t know about his relationship with Y/N. No one knew, Ben shook his head, “No.”

They all stood in silence, when the whispers came to Ben again.

_Come to me, come to the outer rim._

The voice that used to frighten him, suddenly brought a sense of peace to him,  _I can protect you the way Skywalker never did._

“Let’s go,” he said, leading his group of outcasts and killers away from the carnage. A part of him wanted to stay, a part of him wanted to look for Krios.

But, if his assessment was correct, she was dead. 

He couldn’t feel her, and he couldn’t feel Luke. 

Nothing else mattered now.

His reason for being was gone. He killed the students, and now, Ben Solo was gone too.

 

* * *

 

**Luke Skywalker**

Luke gasped, feeling it difficult to breathe. He heard a beeping, and small metal claws removing the rubble, “R2?”

R2 chirped, continuing to remove the stones and wood. Luke chuckled at the insults R2 hurled at him, “I was not taking a nap, R2.”

Once the majority of the pile was removed, Luke sat up, groaning. R2 began to roll away, and Luke followed. His eyes widening in disbelief as he tried to make sense of the chaos in front of him. He fell to his knees, tears escaping his eyes as he saw the temple burning, and the bodies of his students scattered on the ground.

“Oh, oh no,” he sobbed, “Oh no.”

R2 chirped again, informing him that Ben and a handful of students took the ship and left the planet. Luke continued to sob, “He did this; I did this.”

The ash flew in the air, mixed in with orange embers. He reached out, hoping that one of them, at least one of them would be alive. But, he felt nothing.

“They’re all dead… because of me,” he whispered, tears running down his cheeks.

As he said that, his head turned. He felt it; it was faint, and it was weak. But he felt it. A small glimmer of hope.

Weakly, he got to his feet, letting the force guide him.

It led him to a pile of rocks. He glanced at it, and to the side, his heart breaking as he saw Bree’s dead body on the ground, her empty eyes staring at the sky. His breathing came out in gasps when he saw Carey, or what was left of him.

R2 chirped, quickly getting to work on moving the piles of stones. Luke agreed with the droid, now wasn’t the time to despair, not when there was a chance that someone could still survive.

Impatiently, he began lugging the stones aside. Selfishly, he let out a sigh of relief when he found Krios laying there, unconscious. His eyes carefully observed her; she was wounded, badly. It wasn’t until he tried to lift her up that he realized the extent of her wounds.

Her arm was missing, and the cut on her stomach was deep, really deep. There was blood, staining the lower area of her robes, and his worried eyes fell on her face, “R2, she doesn’t have much time.”

The droid beeped, and Luke sighed, exasperated, “I know we don’t have any medical equipment but—look, there is another ship, in one of the caves on the planet. It’s old, but it’ll get her where she needs to go, and me where I need to go.”

R2 objected, and Luke ignored him, probing Krios’ mind; he saw the images in her mind. 

_She was meditating. The feeling of rage and danger. Running towards the grounds. Fighting with Pree, Serj and Uri. Bree dying. Carey knocking her back._

He opened his eyes slowly,  _she didn’t know anything._

_Perhaps it’s better if she doesn’t know anything._

Luke lifted his head, his eyes falling on the severed arm in the distance. Slowly, he walked towards it, and grabbed the one half of her broken staff saber, the other half was near Bree’s body.

Luke stared down at the young girl, reaching down and closing her eyes. There wasn’t anything he could do for her, but he could try to save Krios. He walked towards her, shoving the broken pieces of her staff saber in his pockets. R2 continued to rant, and Luke simply replied as he lifted her in his arms, “I’m not going with her.”

The droid was furious now, beginning to really let him have it until Luke interrupted, “The Jedi Order is done. Look at this, R2; it’s finished. She doesn’t need me, and she doesn’t need to know the truth about what happened here.”

R2 chirped sadly, “She is my family, and she will be better off without the truth.”

Luke and R2 walked silently towards the ship. The droid refusing to speak to him. Not that it mattered, he preferred the silence.

He kept looking down at Krios, making sure that his apprentice was still holding on, “Just a little longer.”

Once they approached the ship, Luke made a quick call and punched in the navigation codes. The ship took off into the sky, and Luke refused to look at the burning temple below, because he knew if he did, he would be filled with even more shame than he was feeling right now.

And right now, all that mattered was keeping Krios alive.

 

* * *

 

**Ben Solo**

A large freighter approached the ship. While Uri, Pree and Serj were worried, Ben stood perfectly still, knowing very well that this was where the voice was leading him to.

“Ben, they’re beaming us into their freighter,” Pree said, the nervousness in his voice betraying him.

“We have nothing to worry about,” Ben said, his eyes still on the large ship.

“Nothing to worry about—what the fuck are you talking about, Ben?”

Ben’s eyes met Uri’s, “It’s just a feeling, trust me.”

Although he could sense their reluctance, they trusted him. Within moments, their small ship was in the belly of the large freighter. Ben opened the doors, and a few minutes later, a tall man with a very pale complexion, piercing, cold, blue eyes and red heir walked in, along with a few soldiers in white, stormtroopers.

Just like the ones his grandfather, Darth Vader, commanded.

“I am General Hux of the First Order,” the man said, “Our Supreme Leader has mentioned that you would be arriving. He would like to see you, now.”

Ben stared at the man, and his eyes fell on his companions, “And what about them?”

“He will get to them, soon. But for now, he wants only you.”

_They won’t be harmed_ , the voice whispered.

Ben believed it, and followed the red haired General down out of the small ship and onto the larger freighter. He observed the interior; black, with some grey. The people that worked there were all wearing black, all of them staring at him in his blood, dirt and ash stained robes.

He had a lot of questions, but he knew that in time, they would be answered.

The General led them to an elevator, and they went up. Higher and higher, until finally, it stopped, and the door opened, “Go on, the Supreme Leader is waiting for you.”

Ben stared at the man for a moment, but he exited the elevator, watching as the doors closed behind him. Once they did, he turned; the room was dark and gloomy. There was black everywhere, except for the walls; which were a bright red.

Ben walked slowly to what looked like a throne, his eyes falling on the creature that sat amongst it, “Come closer.”

“You,” Ben started, pausing a few yards away from him, “You’re the voice in my head.”

“I am,” he admitted, the lights came on so suddenly, and Ben was able to look at the creature on the throne. Only, it wasn’t a creature, it was a man. Horribly disfigured, and dressed in a gold robe. He stared at Ben like he had just received the biggest prize in the galaxy, “And now you are here, with me.”

Ben’s brows furrowed, “Who are you?”

“I am Supreme Leader Snoke of the First Order,” he announced, “And you, are Ben Solo. Son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, nephew to Luke Skywalker and grandson… to  _Darth Vader_.”

Ben shivered at that name, the way Snoke said it was as if he admired Vader. Snoke stood up from his throne, “I know what Skywalker has done to you. I know what they’ve all done to you, young Solo,” the man walked to him now, taking small steps, “I can assure you, that as long as you are here, no one will dare cross you.”

He knew he shouldn’t be, but Ben was intrigued, “How?”

Snoke chuckled, “You are strong, the force within you is strong. You are powerful; something Skywalker failed to see. Here, I will show you the true power of the force, the true power of the dark side; and with my training, you will become even stronger than Darth Vader himself.”

Ben was still hesitant, until Snoke whispered, “You can make them all pay for what they’ve done to you.”

“What must I do?”

Snoke smirked at him, and he simply said, “Kneel, and become my apprentice. I will train not only you, but your comrades whom you have brought with you. And together, you will become the Knights of the galaxy. The Knights of Ren, with you, as their master.”

Something was pulling at Ben not to do it. There was something in his heart that begged him to turn around, to leave. But, the anger inside of him was stronger, and he kneeled to Supreme Leader Snoke, “I will do as you ask.”

Snoke chuckled, “Ben Solo is no longer alive, he is weak and foolish; from here henceforth, you shall be known as…  _Kylo Ren_.”

 

* * *

 

**Leia Organa**

The stars twinkled in the night, Leia Organa stared up at them, wishing that wherever her son was, he was fine.

She felt it, from a long distance, the anger that was in him. But, it was nothing new, so she wasn’t entirely concerned.

And that was her mistake.

Leia was pulled out of her trance when she saw the escape pod slowly enter the atmosphere, “Lieutenant! I want eyes on that escape pod, now!”

Immediately, the sirens began to sound along the base. Poe Dameron, her best pilot ran to her side, “Do we shoot it down?”

“General, it has a peace beacon, it’s not hostile,” the Lieutenant informed.

A whole crowd assembled as the escape pod sluggishly landed a few yards from her.

A horrible churning feeling of unease began to grow within Leia, and she suspected that whatever was in that pod played a part in it.

Leia watched as the soldiers drew their blasters up, slowly approaching the pod. Leia saw a large figure hooked on the pod, and she quickly ran towards it, recognizing the silhouette, “R2?!”

She tried to shake the robot awake, but as it happened, the robot was in low power mode, “R2?”

“Get the droid inside, now!”

A handful of soldiers moved forward to haul the droid off the escape pod, gently carrying it inside the base. Leia turned to the escape pod, watching as it hissed and slowly opened.

Her eyebrows furrowed when she saw what was in it; it was a woman. Someone she had never seen before, but she wore a dark cloak, and white robes. She was dirty with ash and soot, there was a large wound on her abdominal area, and her right arm was missing. Leia’s eyes fell on the small metal pieces near the woman’s head, a broken lightsaber.

“Get her to the medical bay,” she said, softly and in shock. The soldiers around her, even Poe, were in all in a state of shock. Leia looked up at them, “Now! We don’t know how much time she has!”

The men and women carefully pulled the mysterious woman out of the escape pod, hurriedly carrying her inside towards the med bay.

Leia stared after her, the worry hitting her like a ton of bricks. Her eyes fell back to the pod, and she grabbed the broken pieces of the lightsaber, holding them in her hands. She looked back inside the pod for a clue, anything as to who this woman was.

And she found it, as she ran her hands over the edges of the escape pod, she sensed a piece of Luke. Quickly, she pulled out the parchment and unfolded it, reading the words:

 

_Leia,_

_I am alive, but I am long gone. Do not look for me. I have failed your son, Ben has turned to the dark side. He destroyed the temple and killed the students, all of them, except for one._

_Please, save my apprentice, Krios._

_Save her life._

_If she survives, please don’t let her know the truth._

_It will only destroy her._

_Love,_

_Luke._

Leia held the note in her hands, the tears in her eyes spilling over.

So, it has happened. Her son has turned.

Before anyone could notice, she wiped the tears from her eyes. And she walked into the building, heading towards the medical bay.

She watched through the window of the surgery room, watching as the many medical droids and doctors worked on the woman, Krios.

Leia watched her sadly. Her eyes scanning the words on the note.

She would keep her safe, for her brother.

And with the Jedi dead and gone, she had to keep her safe.

There was a darkness that was coming, but now, she felt it. The darkness was here, and maybe this woman, along with Luke, when he was ready, would determine the fate of the galaxy.


	11. Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided that this was the chapter that ends the first part, I know I said that about the previous one, but after this chapter there is going to be a time jump. That’s why I made it long asf. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy it. I have linked recommended music, look for this–> [x]

**Krios/Reader**

**[[x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ERJpT76rGw)]** Krios’ eyes fluttered, she saw the bright lights of the room. She was able to observe the many doctors that hovered over her, and the medical drones beeping as they all tried to save her.

Flashes of what happened at the temple played in her mind; she recalled the pain in her arm, and the shock she felt when she saw it fly off in the other direction. She recalled being blown backwards into a hut by Carey as the lightsabers came down on him. She felt her panic rise.

_Where is Carey? Is he alive?_

Her thoughts raced to the other injury on her body, on her abdomen, my baby.

Her breathing began to quicken, and she began to thrash, trying to use her one arm to pull the mask off of her face. She couldn’t speak, and she realized it was lodged in her throat.

She heard the panic in their voices, “She’s waking up, we need to put her back under!”

A gentle voice spoke beside her, “It’s ok sweetheart; you’re safe.”

Her eyes couldn’t’ match the face to a person, all she saw was a blur, but amidst the blur… gentle eyes. Almost familiar.

“General, she’s trying to pull the tube out, we need to sedate her,” another voice said.

Krios thought she saw the woman beside her nod. She continued to thrash, getting more violent by the moment.

 _My baby_ , she cried out with her mind.

She hoped that someone would hear her, she hoped that Ben would hear her, but there was nothing.

Not even Luke.

She felt a small prick on her thigh, and a single tear escaped her eye.

She was alone, slipping into darkness once again.

 

* * *

 

**Leia Organa**

Leia pursed her lips, tightly.

Her eyes met Poe’s confused gaze, “What happened?”

Leia remained silent, how was she going to explain what happened? How would she explain that her son, Ben, was the one responsible?

She ignored Poe’s question and turned to the doctor, Gil, “How bad is it, Gil?”

The doctor sighed, motioning for them to speak in private. Gil led her to the back room of the medical bay, away from prying eyes and eavesdroppers, “Besides the obvious fact that she’s missing a limb, she has severe lung damage. It looks like she suffered severe internal bleeding from a punctured lung.”

“But, she will survive?”

“We were able to save her, yes,” the doctor nodded, and he lowered his voice in a whisper, “But, that’s not the only thing.”

Leia stared at the doctor, feeling fear for the young woman, “What? What else, Gil?”

He pursed his lips, “She came with bleeding between her legs, and we observed her further. Leia, she was with child.”

Leia felt her heart skip a beat, “Was?”

Gil exhaled deeply as he stared at the General, “The trauma that she experienced… she—the baby didn’t make it.”

Leia’s brows furrowed in sorrow for the young woman. Luke cared about this young girl, his apprentice, so Leia cared about her as well, and her heart broke for the young woman that now slept peacefully, “How long will she be asleep for?”

“We don’t know,” Gil said, it could be a few days or a few weeks. I would prefer to keep her in a coma until the worst of her injuries have healed. Otherwise, she’ll be in excruciating pain.”

“Do what you must, Gil,” Leia ordered, walking away from him.

Poe met her at the door to the medical bay, “So, who is she? General?”

Leia swallowed lightly, “She was a student at Luke’s temple. She was Luke’s apprentice.”

She continued walking at a quicker pace than usual, but Poe didn’t have a hard time keeping up, “Was?”

“The temple has fallen; and she was the only survivor,” she admitted to the young pilot.

Poe stopped in his tracks, prompting Leia to pause. She turned and saw the look for horror on Poe’s face, as well as concern, “How?”

Leia stared at him for a moment, “A student. All I know is that this student turned to the dark side and killed them all.”

“What—wait, what about Ben?”

She felt a pang of hurt in her chest at the sound of her son’s name, and she held back the tears that gathered in her eyes, “Ben Solo is dead, Poe.”

Poe’s jaw dropped, but before he could say anything, Leia turned and walked away, “We need to protect her, she’s the last of them.”

That was another lie too, somewhere out there, Luke was still alive. And she would stop at nothing to find her brother.

 

* * *

 

**Luke Skywalker**

Luke stared at the sun rising in the horizon; he hadn’t slept. He refused to. His mind was on his apprentices.

His most trusted apprentices; Ben and Krios.

But, he would be lying if he said that he trusted Ben. He didn’t. He always knew there was a darkness inside of his nephew, and he thought that he might be able to deter him from falling to the dark side, just as Anakin Skywalker did.

And he failed.

_Still, would he have turned on me if I hadn’t lit my saber?_

The question kept him awake all night.

His thoughts went to Krios. He saw something in her that made him feel at home, she was a part of his family.

Tears streamed down his face as he thought about what he had to do to protect her.

He failed them all.

Every last one of them.

He opened his eyes and made the conscious decision, to never use the force or be connected to it ever again.

This was his punishment, to live his life in isolation.

 

* * *

 

**Krios/Reader**

Krios heard echoes.

Not voices, just echoes, of sounds. Intensified sounds.

She heard the drops of water as they hit the metal of a sink from a leaky faucet. She heard the wind streaming in from the vents. She heard the soft tapping of a foot against the hard floor.

She was somewhere, she wasn’t sure where. But it was unfamiliar.

Her eyes slowly opened, and she was aware of something itchy inside of her throat.

_What the—?_

Her Y/E/C eyes widened when she was able to see clearly; she was in a white room. It looked like a recovery room, and she was hooked to a variety of machines. Her heartbeat rose as she saw that a huge tube stuck out of her mouth.

In a panicked frenzy, she thoughtlessly pulled the tube from her mouth and gasped when it was completely out. She fell to the hard floor as she had a hard time catching her breath, it was like she was suffocating. She gasped, feeling the raspiness of her own breaths, greedily inhaling the air.

Even as she struggled to breathe, she pulled the needles from her skin. Shock filling her body when she looked down and saw only one arm.

She remembered something else, and she looked down to her abdominal area.

 _Use the force_ , she thought.

She closed her eyes and tried her best to concentrate. She searched within herself, aware of the damage that had been done to her body.

And emptiness.

Krios began to search inside frantically,  _no, no, no. This isn’t right._

But she was trying to fool herself, the force wasn’t lying.

Gasping in a raspy voice on the floor, she turned on her back and stared at the white ceiling above her, crying as loudly as she could.

Within moments, the door to her room burst open and an unfamiliar face stared down at her in concern, “Oh my—Doctor! Gil!”

The man knelt beside her and tried to put his hands underneath her to lift her up, and she angrily pushed him away, shouting in her gravelly voice, “No!”

“Krios, it’s fine, I’m Poe, and you’re safe now,” the man said.

But Krios wasn’t listening, she was lost in her grief. Recalling everything that happened.

Poe tried to lift her again and she began to thrash out uncontrollably once more as he held her in his arms, “NO! NO!”

“GIL!”

Poe lifted her as gently as he could, when a few more people entered the room and all of them put their hands on her, “Krios, it’s ok, you’re fine.”

They all said the same thing, and none of their assurances mattered.

“LET ME GO!”

“Gil! Poe! Let her go, now!”

The men that held tightly loosened their grips on her, letting her go. Krios stood, shocked for a moment, as she tried to hold her balance. And then she sunk into the bed, tears flowing from her eyes. She was vaguely aware of the men that held her, Poe and Gil, walking out of the room.

She shivered uncontrollably on the bed, when she felt the other side of the bed give in slightly. Her eyes flew up to see a woman staring sadly at her, trying to offer her a look of consolation.

She was the woman that spoke to her when she was in and out of consciousness, her gentle gaze on was fixed her, “Krios, I am General Leia Organa, and you are at a resistance base.”

Krios furrowed her brows in confusion, “Leia,” she was surprised at how raspy her voice still sounded as she spoke in a normal tone. She swallowed softly, as if the action would soothe her throat or chest, “You’re—you’re Luke’s sister, and Ben’s mother—Ben. Where’s Ben?!”

Leia stared at Krios gently, she placed a soft hand on Krios’ only hand, “Sweetheart, I know this is going to break your heart even further, but… Ben is dead.”

Krios felt the knot in her chest tighten. The room was suddenly filled with black spots, and whatever breaths she could take earlier were getting harder, “Wh—What? Dead?”

She met Leia’s sad gaze, and she searched out for him in the force, but she couldn’t find him. The sorrow she felt inside of her intensified and she sobbed quietly, not a single sound came from her mouth as she mourned not only the loss of her beloved, but her unborn child.

Leia didn’t bother her as she cried, allowing her all the time she needed to mourn. Another thought came to her mind when she finally calmed herself a bit, “Where was Luke? What happened?”

She saw Leia tense at the mention of her brother, but she quickly pushed those emotions away and began to explain to her, “We’re not exactly sure. All we know is that a student turned on Luke and murdered everyone at the temple. You were the only survivor.”

“Then how did I get here?”

Krios observed as Leia bit her bottom lip, “Luke brought you here.”

Her eyes widened, “Luke is alive?”

Leia nodded, “Yes, but I don’t know where he is. He brought you here so we could save you, and he left. We haven’t been able to locate him.”

Krios closed her eyes and searched for him. Shockingly, she couldn’t find anything, or anyone, “I can’t feel him.”

“I think he closed himself off from the force,” Leia said.

Krios slumped over, defeated.

“You’re not alone,” Leia comforted, rubbing Krios’ back, “You have us here.”

Krios, still in despair, managed to give Leia a weak smile. They sat in silence for a few moments, when Krios asked, “How long have I been asleep?”

“About three weeks,” Leia said, “Gil had to keep you in a coma so you could sleep off the worst of the injuries.”

Krios nodded, “Has—Has anyone been to the temple?”

Leia shook her head softly, “No, I’m sorry.”

Krios rolled her eyes in annoyance, “I need to go there,” she said as she got up from the bed, looking for clothes.

“But, you have just awoken, you need to gather your strength before—”

“I need to go, Leia,” she snapped. Krios sighed once she looked upon Leia’s face, “I’m sorry, I just—I need to go. I need to see it for myself.”

Leia smirked softly, “I understand.”

Krios stared at Leia, “Thank you.”

She nodded and motioned for her to follow, “We need to get you some clothes, but, first, I had something made for you at the engineering department.”

Krios furrowed her brows as she grabbed a robe that was draped over the chair in the recovery room. She pulled it over her gown, struggling with only one arm. Leia turned and helped her pull the robe on, even tying it into a knot in the front.

She smiled at Krios and led the way. Krios stared at the inside of the building, in awe. The area they were in was fairly empty, but whenever someone crossed their paths, they stared at Krios.

She simply shook it off and continued after Leia.

A few moments later, they entered large red doors that led to the engineering department. Leia greeted the engineer that stood over a project, “Good afternoon, Ty.”

“General Organa,” the engineer, a short woman with blonde hair greeted. Her eyes fell on Krios and she stared in awe, “I assume this is the young lady that I’ve been constructing it for?”

Leia nodded, “Krios, meet Ty, our expert engineer. She is responsible for our model jets and our other scientific projects.”

“Nice to meet you,” Krios said, trying to sound as polite as she could with her raspy voice.

“You as well,” Ty greeted, a little jittery, “So, since you got here, General Organa here has had us craft us a prosthetic for you, similar to Luke Skywalker’s,” she said as she led the ladies to the back of the room.

They paused in front of a table that held a silver skeletal arm inside of a display, “Now, this is almost the same as Luke’s, but, I made some modifications to it.”

Krios looked down at the area where her arm used to be, “So, are you saying—?”

Ty nodded excitedly, “Yes, I’ve taken some of your DNA, so it will be like you never even lost your arm, think of it as a clone of your arm. I can even add muscular tissue and epidermis to it as well.”

Krios stared at the skeletal arm, and she looked up at Leia and Ty, “Why?”

“Why not?” Ty countered, confused, “We do things like this all the time.”

Krios looked at her feet, a thought crossing her mind, “I don’t suppose you can do the same for those that have died.”

The women in the room looked at her with a gaze of compassion, Ty pursed her lips, and shook her head, “I’m sorry. If there was a way—I would. But, sadly…”

“I know,” Krios whispered, feeling a wave of sadness hit her. She quickly suppressed it and looked up at Ty, “So, can I get this on right now?”

“Of course,” Ty exclaimed, excited.

Leia smiled at her and motioned for her to sit on the chair next to Ty, “I’m going to get you some clothes. I’ll be back soon.”

Krios watched as the older woman walked out of the large room.

“May I?

Ty was motioning towards Krios’ robe, and she nodded. Ty began to remove the robe and observed the area where her arm used to be, “It was a lightsaber?”

Krios nodded, staring at the floor. It wasn’t a subject she wanted to talk about, in fact, she didn’t really want to talk at all. Her chest and throat still ached from the tube, right now all she wanted was silence.

Ty seemed to have picked up on it, because she didn’t press for details or try to start small talk. Her hands were gentle as they adjusted the skeletal arm onto her nub. Krios flinched when the edges of the arm clenched into her skin, small needles pricking all the way through.

Ty, sensing her discomfort, quickly informed her what was happening, “The needles contain tiny droids inside that will attach the synthetic nervous system inside the prosthetic into your own nervous system. Like I said, this arm will be an extension of you. It is quite painful for the first few moments, and once they’re done, they’ll exit your body through your mouth, but that’s the only discomfort you’ll feel.”

Her eyes stayed fixed on the arm, and within moments, Ty ordered, “Move your fingers.”

Krios did as she was told and slightly moved her fingers. She looked up at Ty in amazement, “I—I moved it.”

Ty smiled back at her, “Clench your fist.”

Krios did that as well, and proceeded to move the arm around, lifting it up and then down, twisting her wrist, “Wow.”

“The metal made for the prosthetic is the strongest metal in the galaxy,” Ty informed as she gently prodded for Krios to open her mouth. She collected the tiny drones that slowly made their way out of her and continued, “You are the first to have it. This was actually a prototype, but Leia was insistent that you receive one right away, I of course, agreed because… well, this is fucking awesome. It’s going to take a lot to destroy this, and it’s not ridiculously heavy.”

Krios chuckled as Ty grabbed the last of the tiny drones from her mouth, “You seem fond of your work.”

“I love what I do,” Ty agreed, “You live once, might as well live it doing what you love.”

She smiled at Ty, “Thank you, for this.”

“Anytime,” she smiled, her nose crinkling up and her eyes almost closing, like a child’s smile.

Leia burst in a few moments later, “I see you’ve got it on now, how are you liking it?”

“I like it very much,” Krios smirked.

Leia smiled gently at her, “I think these are your size.”

Krios took them and Ty motioned towards a restroom so she could change. She lazily walked over to the room, closing the door softly behind her. She laid the clothes down on top of the toilet, and slowly removed her robe and gown, even after the few weeks, she still felt sore.

She looked down at her body, bruise ridden from the weight of the stones from the hut falling on her. She began to feel immense sadness as she stared at the scar that was on her abdominal area. Her hands touched it, the emptiness in her life filling her with sorrow.

Her head turned towards the mirror and she caught her own gaze; tired and full of dread. Her skin looked deathly pale, and her lips were colorless. Her hair was dry and matted, she turned and saw the shower in the corner.

Slowly, she made her way towards it and sighed in relief when she felt the hot water hit her skin. She winced slightly when the pressure hit the bruised areas of her body, but she ignored it, needing to wash out the filth from that night.

Her Y/E/C eyes lingered on the dark filth that fell from her body and her hair.

After she finished, she shut off the water and dried herself off, running the towel through her Y/H/C hair. She began to pull on the clothes that Leia provided her, a pair of dark pants that cutoff below her knees, a grey tunic and a maroon leather jacket.

Once she finished, she exited the room, “I’m sorry I used your shower.”

Ty laughed, “It’s fine, I never use it.”

She scrunched her eyebrows and Krios suppressed a laugh, Ty reached behind a table and pulled out a pair of dark brown boots, “Here, I figure we’re about the same size, and I never use them anyways. I prefer to be barefoot.”

“Thank you,” Krios said, taking the boots from her as she sat. She pulled them on and looked up at the women, both of them smiling at her.

“Would you like me to add the tissue and skin to it?” Ty asked, looking down at Krios’ exposed hand.

Krios stared at it herself, “No, I’ll just wear some gloves or something.”

Leia nodded, pulling off her own gloves and handing them to Krios, “Here, take these.”

“Oh, I already took so much—”

“They belonged to Ben, a long time ago,” she said, handing the pair of dark brown gloves to her.

Ty turned away from them to tinker on another project, allowing Leia and Krios some privacy, “The way you asked about him, it seemed like you cared about him a lot.”

Krios nodded, feeling her heart break again into tiny pieces, “I did.”

Leia placed her hand on Krios’ shoulder as a sign of comfort. They shared a brief silence as Krios whispered, “Thank you.”

Krios pulled the gloves on, surprised that they fit her snugly.

“Let’s get you some lunch,” Leia suggested.

Without much push back, Krios followed Leia out of the engineering department and into a vast network of halls. Krios had the feeling that they were underground, because the halls kept rising up and they were suddenly flooded with rays of sunshine. There were more people in these halls, and all of them stared at Krios as if she was a walking corpse.

When they finally reached the mess hall, all eyes were on her. Leia led her towards the window, where the people there handed her a tray of food. She turned and saw a man waving in the corner, next to a window where the sun shone in brightly, “Come.”

Krios followed Leia, trying to avoid the gazes of all the people around her.

“Good afternoon, Poe,” Leia greeted the man, who wore a beige jacket.

Krios furrowed her eyebrows, “Poe?”

“Yeah, I was there when you woke up,” Poe said.

Krios felt herself flush with embarrassment, “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“For what? You have nothing to be sorry for,” he assured, a large smile on his face.

“I have some duties to attend to,” Leia said to Krios, she turned to Poe with a stern look, “I trust you can keep her company for the rest of the day?”

“Of course,” he smiled.

Leia looked over at Krios, “Poe will show you around, I’ll be working late tonight. But, if you still decide to head out in the morning, I’ll see you off.”

Krios nodded, “Thank you.”

Leia smiled back at her and walked off. Krios looked down at Poe, “Have a seat, get some food in you.”

Awkwardly, Krios sat in front of Poe. She began to slowly chew on her food, feeling a painful burn as it went down her throat. Poe stared at her with concern, “Are you alright?”

“Just a little uncomfortable,” Krios said, once she was able to swallow her food.

“We can take you to see the doctor after this,” Poe offered, “Your throat is probably raw from the—well you know.”

Krios smiled at his consideration, he worried about offending her, “Yeah, I know.”

Krios learned a lot from Poe during all those hours she spent with him; he was a pilot. One of their best, actually. He showed her around the base, talking for hours about various machinery and his favorite ship, “Can you fly?”

“A bit,” she answered, “I’m from Coruscant, the underworld. So, I didn’t fly much.”

“Want to learn?”

Krios’ eyes widened, “You can show me how in a short amount of time?”

“Not anyone can, but yes, I can,” he bragged.

Krios laughed, feeling the action foreign, but she nodded, “Alright, let’s see if you’re as good as you say you are.”

Poe raised his eyebrows in disbelief, “Calling me out, huh?”

The rest of the evening consisted of her learning how to pilot a ship with Poe. She had to hand it to him, he really was a good teacher. After a few hours, he complimented her ability to learn fast, “You pick things up quickly.”

“Thanks,” she said, “You’re not too bad at teaching either.”

Poe smiled at her, and his face turned serious, “Hey, listen, I just wanted to say, I’m sorry about what happened to you. Everyone is.”

Krios pursed her lips, staring at the stars ahead of her, “Is that why everyone was staring at me?”

From her peripherals, she saw Poe nod, “Yes, Leia ordered us not to bother you about it. But, I felt like I needed to say it. You—I saw how hurt you were when you woke up.”

Krios nodded, focusing on the planet below them, “It’s still fresh in my mind.”

She finally met Poe’s gaze; it was sad, “I can see why.”

The silence between them was loud, and Krios shut her eyes tightly, trying to push the images of that night out of her mind. Poe’s voice interrupted her thoughts, thankfully, “Leia says you’re planning to go back to the temple…”

“I am.”

“Do you think it’s a good idea? Going back?”

Krios sighed, “I have to. I have my reasons.”

Poe pursed his lips, and sighed, “I understand that, and hey, if you decide to go at least you can fly a fighter ship now.”

Krios chuckled, her eyes meeting Poe’s soft gaze. He smiled softly at her, “We should probably get back.”

“Yeah,” Poe agreed, breaking his gaze, “Take us down, Krios.”

 

* * *

 

Krios dreamt of dark eyes. Tortured eyes, sad eyes.

She saw the lips that she loved to kiss in her dreams, they spoke to her. The words they said, she couldn’t hear. But it was something important.

Ben called out to her, only, it wasn’t Ben. It was someone else.

He was cloaked. All in black, and he wore a helmet.

Krios awoke with a jolt, squeezing her eyes tight. She sat up in her bed and stared out of the window, the sun was beginning to rise, and there was movement outside of the base.

She rubbed her face, and groggily went to the washroom.

Once she was done there, she began to pack what little belongings she had into her pack. After she pulled her boots and gloves on, she grabbed her pack and headed out.

Poe caught up with her in the hallway, “Hey,” he said, breathless.

“Are you alright?” she asked, an amused smirk on her face.

“Yeah,” he said, catching his breath as he walked beside her, “Just wanted to see you off.”

Krios smiled at the notion, “Oh, thanks, you don’t have to.”

“What kind of teacher would I be if I don’t see my student off?”

They shared a small laugh, with Poe entertaining her with his stories as they headed towards the hangar. Once they arrived, they were greeted by Leia, who led them towards a ship that Krios would be taking, Poe nodded, “So, this is you.”

“Yeah,” she said, turning to face him, “Thank you, for helping me.”

Poe smiled softly at her, “Of course.”

She held out her hand and he pulled her in for a soft hug, the action confusing Krios and warming her at the same time. Once he pulled away, he said, “Please, don’t be a stranger.”

 **[[x](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8xDXLrz9fs&feature=youtu.be&t=1m36s)]** Krios smirked at him and turned to meet Leia’s gentle stare, “I have one more thing for you.”

She held out a small box in front of her, “Now, this will probably upset you, but I thought you might want it back.”

Leia handed the box to her and Krios slowly opened it; whatever sadness she felt before, she didn’t feel it anymore as she took out the pieces of her staff saber from the box.

“I thought maybe you could repair it,” Leia said, hopefully.

“Maybe,” Krios whispered, recalling the time she spent with Ben searching for a way to make the staff saber, “Ben helped me make it.”

Leia’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, “Really?”

Krios nodded, smiling fondly at the memory, “He worked day and night to help me get it right.”

Her eyes met Leia’s, tears fell from her sad eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. They’re not sad tears, it’s nice to hear that my son had someone that cared about him,” she whispered.

Krios tilted her head, if she only knew how much her son really meant to her. But, that part of them belonged to only them. And as selfish as it sounded, she didn’t want others to take that from her.

Leia looked up at Krios and smiled, “Be careful on your way to the temple, if you need anything, just get in touch with us through the comms.”

Krios nodded, giving the General a tight hug, “Thank you for your help.”

Leia simply patted her on her back. Once she was released from the hug, she slowly walked into the ship, not bothering to turn back and look at the two people that stared after her. She punched in the coordinates and sighed as the ship ascended into the sky.

 

* * *

 

Krios stared at the sight in front of her. She stood at the base of the ramp, trying to process what she was looking at.

The grounds that were beautiful and peaceful not even three weeks ago were now in ruins. The temple still smoked from the fire that burned it down, and the huts in the distance were still intact, save for two.

But what gathered her attention were the bodies that scattered the grounds.

The sadness inside of her came back tenfold. She walked slowly among the dead, putting a name to each of the dead bodies; Hathley, Oria, Nym.

Her eyes narrowed when she neared one of the broken-down huts. She fell to her knees upon seeing Bree’s dead body, lifeless and picked apart by vultures. She looked to her side and saw the pieces of what used to be Carey.

She felt her stomach turn, and she cried silently to herself; the memory of Carey blowing her back into the hut as the lightsabers feel upon him still fresh in her mind.

The kid saved her life, and she let him die.

Slowly, she began to gather materials for a pyre, not that there was much on this planet, but she made do. She brought the bodies together, opting to burn all of them together, her family.

As she worked, her eyes fell upon the second broken down hut. She squinted her eyes,  _Ben’s hut._

She quickly ran to it, noticing that some of the rubble had been shifted and moved already. She hadn’t found Ben’s body, but she somehow hoped that she would find it here, so she could have some closure.

Her mind ran rampant when she found nothing, not even his lightsaber. Krios squatted, holding a stone in her hand, observing the grounds,  _he has to be here somewhere,_  she thought.

Krios shook her head, and hit herself repeatedly on her head, to chase those thoughts from her head. Ben was dead. And nothing was going to bring him back.

She dropped the stone on the rubble, and stepping back, she breathed in deeply. She concentrated and felt the shift in the wind as the stones and beams began to fall back into place. The force was wearing her down, but once the last stone fell into place, she opened her eyes and smirked slightly at seeing Ben’s hut repaired.

It was a small piece of happiness.

Krios turned and stared at the rest of the bodies that still needed to be put on the pyre.

She worked fast, trying to ignore her sorrow and her anger; making sure that all of the students were burned with their lightsabers.

Once she finished, she stood among the dead.

“You fought bravely,” was all she could say.

Krios lit the pyre and stood back as she watched the ashes of her students, her family, fly into the sky in small embers and ash.

There were only a few missing, she knew what became of Pree, Serj and Uri.

Her anger built up at the thought, and then it quelled once she thought of Ben.

_Where is he?_

She couldn’t find his body, so maybe he was still alive.

 _No, he’s dead_ , she fought with herself,  _Leia said so herself._

She closed her eyes, staring at the night sky and the moons that still hovered over the planet, unaware of the massacre that took place beneath them.

She was alone, it didn’t matter that Leia said she wasn’t. The people she loved were gone. All of them.

And Luke abandoned her; closing himself off from the force because he didn’t want to deal with what happened.

Her anger overtook her, and she made a conscious decision.

She didn’t want the force.

Not if it was going to be used to massacre and slaughter children.

Leia said Luke closed himself off from the force, so she would do the same.

She turned from the pyre, and walked towards Ben’s hut, feeling numb and not feeling the lingering force inside of her anymore.

As she entered Ben’s hut, she laid on the dirty cot, staring at the other side, where he used to lay.

Her heart broke as she reached out to his side.

Her tears fell onto the sheets of the cot, and her eyes stared at his old calligraphy set. She reached into the pocket of the leather jacket and pulled out the pieces of her broken staff saber.

Inside, was a worn and yellowed note. The note that Ben wrote to her before she left on her trial for her lightsaber. She cried harder as she held the note close to her chest, “I miss you.”

Amidst her crying, there was a thought that kept nagging at her; Ben was dead, so, then why wasn’t his body here?


	12. 6 Years

**Kylo Ren**

The humming of his lightsaber whispered in his ears as she closed his eyes and swung it mechanically; his heart was cold, and his mind was set on one goal; crush anything and anyone that resisted.

For years, he trained under his master, Supreme Leader Snoke, in the dark side of the force. Whatever light was inside of him had been quenched years prior. There was nothing left inside of him save for the goal to live up to his grandfather, Darth Vader.

He saw visions of the power that the darkness could bring to him, power that Darth Vader had wielded and made use of. In times of doubt, he looked to the ashen helmet of his grandfather to show him the way.

The Force had been quiet. There was no light, just darkness. It had been years since he had seen or thought of his past, that was until he was informed that Luke Skywalker was alive.

He refused to believe mere rumors, refused to give life to them. Still, he had to admit that he was drawn to the possibility; he felt the silence in the force after he was buried beneath a large pile of rock and stone, but, he had seen Skywalker do the impossible, and it wouldn’t be surprising to see that he was alive.

So, Kylo Ren set out to investigate; following lead after lead, until he stumbled upon a resistance fighter that, after some persuasion, gave up his information.

Leia Organa was tracking Luke Skywalker, and he was still very much alive. And in hiding.

Kylo Ren brought the news to Supreme Leader Snoke. At the news, Snoke tasked him and General Hux with locating the missing Jedi master.

With his new mission, his anger returned. Not that it ever subsided, only now it pulled him deeper into the darkness, like an anchor dragging across an ocean floor.

And in return, he thought of her… the one person he hadn’t thought about in years.

She was long gone, and he never knew what happened to her. At times, he dreamt of her, but he quickly pushed those dreams and memories away, she was dead. And nothing he did would ever bring her back.

He kept his helmet and cloak up as he kneeled in front of Snoke, “Skywalker still lives, as long as he does, there is hope in the galaxy that the Jedi will rise again.”

“Skywalker will not live long,” Kylo assured, his voice distorted by the helmet.

“You assured me that he was dead once,” Snoke rebuked, seething, “And now, because of your carelessness, the Resistance now has hope.”

Kylo breathed deeply, inhaling and exhaling slowly. He glanced up at the Supreme Leader’s large hologram, “I will snuff out any, and all hope the Resistance has.”

Snoke leaned forward, “See to it that you do, Kylo Ren. You are the Master of the Knights of Ren, my apprentice. Make sure that you are worthy of those titles; do not disappoint me.”

With that, Snoke’s hologram was gone. Kylo stared at the empty space where Snoke’s large figure loomed just moments before; he tried to keep his control and not give in to his temper. He was worthy of the titles, amongst the Knights of Ren, he was the strongest. His use and control of the force was levels stronger than the rest of the Knights.

Moments later, General Hux entered the large room, “Kylo Ren, we have received information that the final piece of the map is on the planet Jakku, in the hands of Lor San Tekka.”

“Prepare to jump into hyperspace and get the divisions ready; we will land as soon as possible,” Kylo ordered.

He knew that General Hux was wary of him, if not displeased that Kylo held the same amount of power in the First Order’s military without having an official rank. Kylo turned to meet the General’s glare, who gave a curt nod and walked towards the elevator.

Kylo knew what he had to do. It was what he has done since he became part of the First Order, still, after all the years of being immersed in darkness, there was something he felt, something so sudden, so quick, light. And in the brief moment he felt it, it was also gone just as quickly.

He scoffed to himself, ignoring it.

There was no light left, just darkness.

 

* * *

 

**Krios/Reader**

_Wake. Work. Eat. Sleep._

Her daily ritual consisted of the four tasks, never once deterring or living out of her ritual.

Since she returned to the planet to take care of the dead, she refused to leave. This was where her family was, and this was where she belonged.

Throughout the years, Krios spent her time rebuilding the temple. At first, it began as a way to restore her life to the way it used to be before it all came crashing down. But, as the years passed, it turned into a task that she did to keep her mind and her body busy, refusing to let her sadness take over.

Still, every night she cried herself to sleep. What little sleep she did get was interrupted with vivid nightmares of what happened that night. She always woke up screaming, her hands clutching her lower abdominal area. Just as she fell asleep with tears in her eyes, she awoke with them streaming down her cheeks as well.

Each night she longed for Ben’s arms around her, the arms that always brought her a sense of comfort, and each night she felt her sorrow return until she pushed herself to get to work on rebuilding the temple or chiseling the names of the dead into stones that she would lay around the entrance of the temple.

The restoration of the temple would have been much smoother and quicker had she used the force, but she made the vow years ago, just as she knew Skywalker did, that she would never use the force again. That the galaxy didn’t need her; she had many lives to atone for.

There were times when she was angry, and she wanted to take revenge on the people that murdered her family, but, her unwillingness to even breathe were what always kept her from seeking her vengeance. So, she stayed, building the stones and wood as high as she could.

Her life was lonely, for the most part. Leia Organa always insisted that she had a home with the Resistance, and that it had been more than 5 years since she left; it was time to return. Krios always declined the invitation. That never stopped Poe Dameron from coming to see her, however.

The man began his visits by dropping off supplies to her, sometimes staying longer than necessary to help her rebuild the temple and to keep her company.

Krios knew that he sensed her sadness still lingering deep within her, but he never questioned it or brought it to light, instead opting to speak about life with the Resistance.

“Have you been practicing your flying?”

Krios chuckled as she tried her best to shimmy the sliding door into place, “Whenever possible, I don’t really have the time though.”

“Really? You don’t have the time?”

His voice was sarcastic as he asked her, and she smirked, “You know what I mean.”

She turned her head to meet him as he set up the lanterns around the room, “I just thought you’d at least try to find some time.”

Krios shrugged lazily, “I’ll try to make some time for it, if it’ll get you off my back.”

Poe laughed, turning his attention back to the lanterns. Finally, Krios was able to get the door in, and she stood back to admire the work, “I think this room is done.”

Poe walked towards her, standing beside her as he stared at the room, “Is this what it looked like before?”

“Almost,” she eyed the empty patch of dirt in the center of the courtyard where the small patches of grass began to grow, “Once those grow out, it’ll be like it was before.”

Poe nodded next to her. She knew he wasn’t too fond of the idea of her wanting the temple back to the way it was, he made sure to voice his opinions on it and how he thought it was unhealthy, still, she refused to back down. Eventually, after many heated arguments, he decided that he might as well help her since she wasn’t going to change her mind, “Are you ready to work on the other ones?”

“I think I’m satisfied with just this one,” she answered, staring at the glowing lanterns in the courtyard through the sliding door.

“Well, I need to be heading back, Leia says she needs to see me as soon as possible,” Poe said, staring at his comm.

“Go ahead, can’t keep the Princess waiting,” she joked.

“Is that sarcasm? Cause if it is, I’m going to tell her,” he retorted, smirking slightly.

“Relax, you know it was a joke, Dameron,” Krios chuckled.

Poe laughed slightly and leaned in to give her a hug. His arms wrapped themselves around her and he squeezed tightly, “I’ll try to come and see you as soon as I can.”

“You know there’s no need for that.”

“There isn’t, but I want to,” he whispered.

Krios nodded, gently pulling away from his grip. Poe stared at her for a few moments, when he finally turned to BB8, motioning for the droid to follow him, “I’ll see you soon, Krios.”

“Sure,” she answered, “Be careful.”

She didn’t watch him leave, instead, her eyes were focused on the meditation room. Her thoughts went back to the first night she saw Ben with his lightsaber. She smiled at the memory, and then her heart began to feel heavy in her chest at the thought that he was gone.

Krios sighed, sadly sitting cross legged in the middle of the room, wishing that Ben could be with her.

 

* * *

 

Krios sat cross legged on the cliff, the same cliff that Luke Skywalker helped her unleash her powers. She stared out into the vast planet, and down to the river below. It had been a long time since she touched the force.

Her thoughts went to the conversation she had with Poe earlier that day, “We could really use you, Krios.”

Krios scoffed as she lugged a heavy sack of grain over her shoulder. Leia always nagged that she should return, but, she also sent her provisions to make sure that she didn’t die of starvation, “Use what?”

Poe lifted a box with more provisions, following her into her hut, “Your power; you are a Jedi—”

“I’m not a Jedi,” Krios interrupted him sternly, dropping the sack on the ground.

Poe gently laid the box next to the sack, he sighed as he looked up at her, “Krios, the First Order is gaining more and more ground, we need all the help we can get.”

“Then recruit more people.”

“What do you think I’m trying to do?”

“I meant anyone else besides me,” she retorted, taking a drink of water from her canteen.

He sighed, “Krios, I know you’ve been through a hard time, but, what happened here happened a long time ago, you need to move on, you need to heal. You can’t do that if you’re just sulking here on this planet, all alone.”

Krios shook her head, feeling her frustration build, “I kind of wish I would have taken a page out of Skywalker’s book and just disappeared completely.”

“We’re close to finding him, Krios,” Poe informed.

“You said that to me six years ago,” Krios retorted skeptically. She placed her canteen on her small nightstand; next to the note Ben Solo had written to her years ago, and her broken staff saber.

Poe followed as she stomped out of her hut and out onto the grounds, “This time we’re close,” he gently gripped her arm, and planted himself in front of her, “I found someone that has his location. The last piece of the puzzle, so to speak.”

“Well,” she started, shaking Poe’s arm off of her, “If you find him, you can tell that son of a bitch he can drop dead.”

She began to walk away, but Poe refused to let up, and if she was being honest, his presence was beginning to annoy her, “Give him a break, Krios. You can’t blame him for disappearing, just like you did.”

At those words, she quickly turned and shoved Poe into a stone pillar, “Don’t you ever say that again,” she seethed.

“What? Say the truth? You crawled under a rock when shit hit the fan, Krios, and since then, you and Skywalker have refused to come out and help the rest of us fight, unaware of the fact that if the First Order wins, everything will be gone,” Poe retorted, his anger seeping through, “Jedi are supposed to protect people.”

Krios closed her eyes tightly, feeling the small tendrils on the force beckon to her, she quickly shook it off and released Poe, rubbing her forehead with her hands. She stomped the remnants of the force away, determined to stay closed off from it. Her eyes met Poe’s, and he started at her in concern. Before he could voice it, she quickly spoke, “I’m not a Jedi.”

She began to walk off, needing to be left alone to deal with her thoughts and her feelings, but as she walked off, Poe shouted after her, “The First Order is looking for him too, Krios. For your sake, you’d better hope that we find him first, because if the capture him, they’ll find out about you.”

Krios shrugged, seemingly unfazed by his comment.

And now, as she sat at the cliff, all she could think of was that she hoped they found her. She longed and waited for her death for years, it would be a nice welcome.

The wounds that she carried never really healed, all of them were as fresh as they were the day she received them.

She looked down at her gloved hands, touching the skeletal metal hand with her own. She adjusted to it rather quickly, but, the scar on her abdominal area, that one was difficult to adjust to.

Every night she wished she would have stayed near the river. Every night she wished he had fought harder, and every night she fell asleep, in a fetal position, defeated and tired. But, as tired as she was, she never felt that she could get enough sleep.

Her Y/E/C eyes stared at the setting sun and the rising moons.

Maybe Poe was right, she was just like Luke. Both of them scurrying like dogs with their tails tucked between their legs when shit got real.

A part of her wanted to help them, but, how could she?

How could someone damaged make a difference?

 

* * *


	13. Dead Inside

**Kylo**

Kylo breathed heavily as he stood in front of the broken-down controls. His temper bested him yet again. He was so close to retrieving the map, the prospect of finally having Skywalker’s location and killing him was settling in his mind when the Resistance pilot escaped, with the help of FN-2187.

One of their own betrayed them, and the idea of the betrayal bothered him a lot more than it should have; his own thoughts lingering on the night at the temple years ago. Maybe I betrayed them, he thought.

He quickly shoved those thoughts out of his mind; what was done was done, and there was no going back. Instead, he let the anger of the betrayal consume him, his whole body slightly tingling at the feeling of the familiar emotion.

However, his anger turned into intrigue when he thought about the girl that helped the traitor and the droid escape Jakku.

The mission was proving to be much more frustrating than it should have been.  _Who was this girl?_

And if she was able to escape them, just how much more was she capable of?

 

* * *

 

**Krios/Reader**

It had been a few days since Poe’s last visit.

He usually made a point to send her vid messages to her ship, she knew he had feelings for her. He made them clear through his actions, and as much as she appreciated, and  _almost_  reciprocated them, it was always something that she steered away from. Her heart was still set on Ben Solo, and she vowed that she would never love another the way she loved him. Even though it had been six years since his death, it was something that she could never quite get over. She couldn’t really explain why, but a nagging feeling inside of her refused to let her forget him. And not just him, but their unborn child.

Still, as much as she still loved Ben, her worry and frustration grew when she had yet to receive a message from Poe.

_He’s probably angry at me, I don’t blame him._

He was right, but, she figured she was as well. She didn’t want anyone to try to push her to join society or their fight when she couldn’t even deal with the guilt and sorrow that lived within her. It was all still too much for her to deal with; all the tragedy that she endured, it just seemed like her life was a slew of bad things happening after the other, and not matter how much she tried, she couldn’t stop it.

Krios sighed in frustration as she sat in the courtyard of the meditation room; her mind always had a way of going off and never letting her forget the tragedies of her past. Her eyes opened slowly, taking a glimpse of the sun shining in through the opening in the courtyard, casting a rather sad looking shadow of her figure. She eyed her shadow with the same sadness that the dark figure on the ground held, her body began to get numb with sadness; the frustration inside of her building at the conflicting emotions inside of her, they felt different… almost  _alien_.

Her frustration quickly subsided as it was replaced with confusion. Her eyes stared at the sky as she watched the ship that entered the atmosphere slowly descend in the distance, close to where her own ship was.

She lazily rose to her feet, sluggishly making her way out of the half-built temple and onto the grounds; each step was an enormous effort as she carried the weight of the various emotions inside of her.

Krios smirked when she spotted the familiar stature of the small woman descend the ramps of the ship, Leia Organa. Her eyes scanned the planet, taking in the structure of the repaired temple before meeting Krios’ confused gaze; her voice was friendly when she spoke, “I didn’t want to believe Poe when he said that you were still staying out here.”

“It’s the closest I have to home; besides, it was either this or Coruscant,” she shrugged, closing the distance between them.

Leia smiled softly at her, holding her arms out for a hug. Krios allowed the older woman an embrace; she surprisingly felt almost at home in the arms of the woman, she squeezed her tightly as she spoke with a tone of surprise, “I’m surprised you came all the way out here; it’s been awhile since I’ve seen you.”

“You refused all my invitations for a visit to D’Qar, so I thought I might as well come and see you instead,” she chuckled as the hug released.

Leia smiled softly at her as she began to stroll towards the grounds, staring at the rubble where the huts used to be. Her eyes slowly made their way to the half-built temple; admiring the construction and layout Krios worked on all those years. She paused in front a large pile of wood and stone; leaning down to pick up a small stone, turning it over in her hands as she admired the building, “So, this is where it all happened.”

Krios came up beside her and nodded, “It was a lot prettier when it was all intact, but,” she paused, softly touching the stones on the temple, somewhat tenderly, “this’ll do for now.”

“It looks fine, dear,” she smiled; though, Krios sensed that her smile wasn’t genuine. Leia sighed and turned towards her, “I know that Poe has come to see you often, and he always tells me that you refuse to join us.”

Even though Krios liked Leia, she couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her, “Did you come to recruit me too?”

“I have come to _inform_  you,” Leia corrected, as if the idea was different than the recruitment she knew was coming.

“I’m not interested, Leia,” she huffed, “I don’t care who the offer comes from; you, Poe or even the great Master Yoda’s ghost, I am  _not_  getting involved.”

“I beg you to reconsider, Krios,” Leia said, “More and more systems will suffer as long as the First Order reigns.”

“As long as they leave me alone, I could care less what happens to anyone else,” Krios retorted, the cruelness in her voice was apparent as Leia’s brows flew up.

Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke, but still, full of outrage, “How could you say such a thing?”

“Because it’s the truth Leia; I don’t give a damn about what happens to anyone—”

“You should, Krios, because the First Order is as ruthless as the Empire was when Palpatine ruled over the galaxy,” Leia interrupted, her anger becoming apparent. Krios felt her own ferocity begin to rise, and just as she was about to stalk off, Leia said something that sent chills down her spine, “And they have a force user.”

Krios felt the shiver go from the end of her spine to the top of her neck, her head twitched to the side at the sound of her words.

_A force user._

She slowly turned to meet Leia’s stare, her brows crinkled at the idea, “You’re lying.”

“Am I?”

Krios knew that if she opened herself up to the force, that she would be able to know for sure if she was telling the truth. The temptation to do so was there, but, as she stared into Leia’s eyes, she realized she didn’t need to tap into anything, as there was nothing but truth in them. Still, she refused to acknowledge or believe it; Krios skeptically sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her fingers. Leia, catching on to Krios’ skepticism, pulled out a data pad from inside her jacket, turning it over to Krios.

Her eyes narrowed when she saw the photo of a hooded figure with a black helmet, the edges around the eye area were trimmed with silver, in his hand, he held a red lightsaber with a cross guard design. The edges of the lightsaber were corrupted and unsteady, almost as if it was a reflection of him. He held his hand out, as if he was using the force to crush the person that was snapping the photo, “How did you get this?”

“One of our own had a run in with him a few days ago, he was wearing a camera on him the whole time. He was lucky to survive,” she added.

Krios felt something deep inside of her begin to stir, she recalled seeing this person in her dreams once, many years ago. For some strange reason, she felt fear overtake her, “Is he a Sith? Only Sith have red lightsabers like this…”

Her voice trailed off, recalling the lesson that Luke Skywalker taught her years ago; and vaguely recalling reading it in the book where she constructed her own staff saber.

Leia shrugged, “He uses the darkness in the Force,” she paused for a moment, a slight twitch to her lip, “Other than that, not much is known about him.”

Krios stared down at the photo, feeling herself become consumed and drawn to the man in the photo; her fingers gently grazed it as she asked, “Who is he?”

“As I said, there isn’t much that’s known about his one, but he goes by the name of Kylo Ren,” she answered.

“The only force users I knew were—”

She paused in her tracks, looking down at the hooded figure once again, “There were three of them that attacked the temple that night, do you think one of those boys could be this person, Kylo?”

Leia sighed as she shook her head, “It’s possible.”

Krios stared at the photo a little longer, there was something else about him. Something…  _familiar_.

Leia gently pulled the data pad from her hands, and quickly stuffed it back into her pack, “We know that he is Leader Snoke’s apprentice, and he is extremely dangerous as he is powerful.”

She stayed silent for a few moments, when a thought crossed her mind, “Who was the person that captured this?”

Leia answered, as gently as she could with a tiniest of quivers in her voice, “I think you know who it was, Krios.”

Krios clenched her hands at the thought, her eyes shut tight, knowing the answer but having the hardest of times voicing it out, “Poe.”

Leia nodded, “It seems that Kylo Ren was able to retrieve the location of the map to my brother from Poe, and from what we know, he didn’t make it pleasant.”

“Is he alright?”

Leia nodded, taking Krios’ hands in her own and squeezing them softly, “He will be fine.”

Slowly, Krios asked the next question, “This force user, what other information did he obtain from Poe?”

The look on Leia’s face could only be described as outrage, her brows furrowed and she dropped Krios’ hands, placing her own on her hips, “He didn’t probe his mind, he could have, but he tortured Poe just so he could hear Poe say it from his own lips, you can rest easy knowing that they won’t find you, yet.”

Leia began to stomp off in anger. Krios rolled her eyes, but, she followed after her, “Leia I don’t want to be part of this; in any way or form. I swore I would never use the force again after—”

They both stopped dead in their tracks, with Leia staring at her; her dark eyes gazed at Krios’ with desperation, almost pleading.

Krios stared back at Leia, knowing full well what she was trying to communicate to her. Krios groaned internally, pushing her Y/H/C hair back out from her eyes. Even though she was no longer a Jedi Apprentice, or Padawan, she still kept the braids in her hair; an honorary tribute to the young padawans that died.

She sighed deeply, her eyes on the ground when she continued, “You know this still doesn’t change my mind.”

The older woman sighed sadly, “I know, but, if we find Luke, he won’t be able to fight this battle alone. He will need you.”

“He should have thought of that before he dumped me with a bunch of strangers,” she spat.

Leia’s eyes regarded her sadly, “Luke wrote to me a few times, and he always praised all of his students, but it was you that he spoke of often. He always said that you would amount to great things, if you ever got over your jaded and proud nature.”

She began to walk away, leaving Krios standing there, dumbfounded and baffled at the words she just spoke to her. She watched Leia pause, her eyes falling on the stones on the ground, each one of them holding the names of all the students that died on that horrible night. She stared at the one with  _Ben Solo_  chiseled into it, “Do you think your fellow students, the ones that dared to stand up to evil that night, would stand by idly while others suffered?”

Krios’ eyes widened at the words, and as much as she wished she had a rude comeback to what Leia said, her tongue was tied, and her heart began to ache.

In that moment, Leia knew that she had struck a nerve, because she simply turned and continued on towards her ship, not once glancing back at the broken girl that stood in place of a skeptic.

She glanced towards the stones, feeling her stomach drop at the truth in Leia’s words.  _Carey. Bree. Ritter… Ben._

The people she regarded as family, the children, all of them died that night to fight the boys that turned on them.

And to this day, she had yet to find a trace of Ben’s body.

How would they react to her giving in when the galaxy needed her?

She sat in front of Ben’s stone, berating herself for hours as the moons in the sky rose above her, illuminating the grounds in a silvery glow.

Through all her pondering, she felt ridiculous for needing time to sit and think about what needed to be done; she knew what her family would do, and she knew that they wouldn’t sit here on this planet for six years wallowing in a dark pit of self-pity and loathing.

The fear inside of her began to gnaw at her, but she knew what she had to do. With tears glistening into her eyes, she leaned down towards Ben’s stone, planting a soft kiss on the cool, rough surface, “I love you. I will always love you. And if I don’t return, I’ll see you soon… all of you.”

And as much as she hated it, she stood on her own two feet, silently whispering a goodbye to them, knowing in her mind and heart that she held on to the ones that were lost for too long, and now it was time to save those that  _could_  be saved.

 

* * *

 

**Kylo**

Kylo Ren stood in front of Snoke, General Hux stood at his side; he steeled his heart and made sure to feel indifferent to what the General was suggesting. Not that it was hard, he long since stopped caring about what happened to everyone else. But, there was still that nagging feeling inside of him, a shift in the force that made him feel a pull towards something, towards the light.

General Hux eyed Kylo as he stalked off to prepare the weapon, Snoke’s large holographic figure loomed over him, “There’s been an awakening, have you felt it?”

It was ridiculous of Kylo to think that Snoke wouldn’t notice it, of course he would. His voice was distorted because of the helmet when he spoke a single word, “Yes.”

Snoke’s eyes darkened at his next line. Kylo remained indifferent to the news; the droid was aboard the dreaded  _Millennium Falcon,_  the ship that belonged to his father, Han Solo. Snoke stared at Kylo, a look of questioning on his distorted face, “I will do what I must, Master.”

“We shall see,” Snoke said, shutting off the holo.

Kylo stood there for a few moments, breathing in deeply as he felt the continuing shifting within the force. It was strong, and he would be lying if he said it didn’t feel warm, almost welcoming and familiar. But, he quickly shut down those feelings. He wasn’t who he used to be anymore, and nothing would change that.

For now, he quickly stalked out of the large room, determined to find the droid, the girl, the traitor, and his father; knowing full well what he had to do, and not feeling an ounce of regret for it.

 

* * *

 

A/N: Soz that these last two chapters are short, but, I promise, they will get longer and better. Just be patient. Shit's gonna get real... again. Lol.

 

Also, dont forget to follow me on Tumblr!

Kylo Ren Blog: <https://darth-dre.tumblr.com/>

Multi-Fandom Blog: <http://darth-stetter.tumblr.com/>


	14. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So two months later and I finally finished this chapter. I hope that those of you who keep up with this fic enjoy this chapter. If I’m being honest, I actually enjoyed this one alot.

D’Qar bustled with life and movement, making Krios feel sick and dazed with the amount of people abruptly surrounding her as she made her way into the base, she didn’t dare lower her hood, not in the mood to have the people stare upon her sad face; refusing to let them see the emotional wreck that she was.

They all knew who she was, of course they knew. More than half of them were present when she was flown down in an escape pod all those years ago; a young Jedi that was trained by the great Luke Skywalker himself, who couldn’t even protect the people she loved.

And yet, they all stared at her with wide, hopeful eyes. All of them believing in their minds that she would be their savior. Her. The lone Jedi warrior that lived in solitude and shameful disgrace for the past six years.

Since her last encounter with Leia Organa, she had somehow been convinced to take part in an ongoing war with the First Order, and now she wished she was in the comfort of her hut with the ghosts of her past to keep her company.

It was too late to turn back now, though, and now that she was here, she had to see it through. It was the least she could do for those that she lost, and those she didn’t want to lost, like Poe.

Her eyes scanned the faces of the people around her for a glimpse of her friend, hoping to the maker that he was well. She knew he was alive, that much was said by Leia. But Krios also knew what the force could do to people, especially used in the manner it had by this dark force user, Kylo Ren.

The crowd that stood in their spots parted for her, allowing her a path where she needed to go. Eventually, she found herself in a command room. The majority of the people in there were gathered around a large circular table?  _Is that what it was?_

Krios stood back, leaning against the hard wall, watching what she assumed to be the commanders shuffling about as they carried out orders to people on the other ends of their radio comms. Her brows furrowed, confused at the craziness going on at the moment until her gaze fell on Leia. Immediately, ignoring the stares of the other officers in the room, she bustled towards the General, speaking softly beside her, “What’s going on? Where’s Poe?”

“You came?”

“Yes, I’m here,” Krios answered, rolling her eyes, staring at the holographic blueprint hovering over the round table, “What’s this?”

“We’re moving in on the First Order at their base, Starkiller,” Leia started, pointing towards the holographic planet, “We’ve got intelligence that they have a weapon within the planet’s core.”

Krios’ eyes fell on the blueprint beside it, immediately recognizing the layout after seeing it so many times in Luke’s library at the temple, “Is that the Death Star?”

“Yes,” Leia answered, “The weapon at Starkiller Base is far larger, and much more devastating. It powers up by sucking out the energy of a sun; this weapon is a creation of the First Order, and they’re responsible for destroying the Republic.”

“What?”

Leia sighed, “I don’t have time to explain it all right now; what I _can_  say, is that the weapon is preparing to fire on us as we speak. We sent a group to dismantle it and our fighter pilots as backup.”

Krios’ eyes widened. She quickly glanced around the room, searching for the one person she knew wasn’t there, “Where’s Poe?”

“He’s our best pilot, Krios, he’s leading the-”

“You told me he was tortured, Leia, and you sent him back to into the fray?!”

The people in the command room paused, watching in shock that this woman would dare shout at the General, the Princess, in the manner that she did. Leia exhaled deeply, glancing at the other commanders to resume their posts. In an instant, it was as if nothing had happened as they all resumed their posts, leaving Leia to calmly begin explaining the situation to Krios, “He is doing his duty, he knows the risks and he takes them every day because it’s the right thing to do.”

Krios scoffed skeptically, “You lay that bullshit on him to? About duty and honor and saving other people because it’s ‘our’ responsibility?”

“It  _is_  our responsibility because of the power we hold,” Leia quickly answered, her voice getting thick with irritation, “Luke knew it-”

“And I still don’t see him anywhere,” Krios countered, “Stop making it seem like Luke would do the right thing when he isn’t here either.”

“Then  _why_  are you here?”

Krios sighed, thinking of the news that Leia brought to her about Poe. Thinking about how she was done spending her life on a secluded planet mourning the loss of those who were long gone and trying in some way to find justice for them, “You know damn well why I’m here, Leia.”

Her eyes fell on the data pad on Leia’s hands, the photo of the man with the black helmet and hooded cloak stood vivid as day in the video still, “Did they go after him?”

Leia looked down at the data pad in her hands, pausing before answering, “He is expected to be there.”

Krios exhaled deeply, trying to contain the rage that was brewing beneath her. She pinched the bridge of her nose as she asked in a barely manageable level voice, “You sent your people, my  _friend_ , to planet to presumably destroy a superweapon that is probably being guarded by legions of soldiers and a dark force user?”

Her eyes flew open as she glanced at Leia who had a look of determination and conviction on her face as she spoke, “They knew the risks.”

“Fucking-” Krios started, still trying to contain her irritation.

“They are aiming the weapon at us right now Krios, we will all be a pile of dust and matter if we don’t at least try-”

“Give me the planet’s coordinates,” Krios demanded through clenched teeth, her hands gripping the ends of the round table to steady herself, and not wanting to listen to another of Leia’s speeches.

Without question, Leia handed Krios the data pad that held the video still of Kylo Ren moments ago, the planet’s coordinates blinking gently on the screen with a route to get there, “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to bring my friend home,” Krios said as she quickly shoved what little belongings she brought with her, including her broken lightsaber with Ben’s yellowing note in the shaft under a nearby chair, “If you were smart, you would start the evacuation process as a precaution. Your arrogance not only sent your people to their deaths, but the people that you were supposed to protect are now risking their lives by staying here too.”

“You would have us cower in distant planet like you have?” Leia shouted, prompting silence in the room once more. From the radio, she could hear Poe’s voice, the idiot was hollering and whooping as if he was having the time of his life.

Krios felt it then… something she hadn’t felt in years. She felt rage, pure raw fury coursing through her veins as she slowly turned to face the general. Poe’s voice was white noise as she honed in on the older woman. She sensed that Leia could feel the anger radiating from her, and she could have punished her for it, instead, she swallowed hard. Speaking in a low tone, she gave on single warning, “Choose your words carefully next time,  _General_.”

In an instant, before Leia could have a chance to retort, Krios turned, allowing her legs to lead her to her ship. She had to get to Poe before he was captured and tortured once more… or worse. She didn’t even want to think about what would happen to him, so without hesitation, she bumped whomever happened to be standing in her path out of her way. She had to make sure he got home, she had to make sure he came back to her.

Jumping into her ship, she immediately ascended into the sky, instantly jumping into hyperspace, hoping that she would not be late, not again.

She wasn’t sure how much help she would be; her lightsaber was broken, it was too late to craft another and not to mention, she hadn’t used the force in years. Still, she had to try… for Poe’s sake.

 

* * *

As soon as Krios arrived on Starkiller Base, the sun in the sky was slowly being sucked into a large hole on the planet. The look on her face could only be described as horrific as she watched the weapon that seemed so harmless in its holographic form be powered up in front of her.

She suddenly felt guilty for saying the things she said to Leia, knowing that she was only doing what was supposed to be done. If she was being quite honest, she wasn’t sure why she said the things she did, all she knew was that she felt fury and she almost acted on it. But now that she was here, observing firsthand what was going on, she understood as well why Poe couldn’t stand back, the idiot just had to do the right thing.

Upon entering the planet’s atmosphere, her first glance were the fighter jets in the sky, a handful of them in a sky battle with the First Order’s ships. Within moments, First Order fighters were hot on her tail, “Fucking shit.”

She wasn’t a great flyer, and now as she tried to shake the fighters off her tail, she hoped she had taken Poe’s advice and practiced her flying.  

The fighter jets shot consistently at her, barely missing her as she flew over a thick forest in the planet. But there was only so much she could do as more of the fighters descended on her, shooting a barrage of lasers at her ship.

“Shit,” she breathed as the blasters hit one side of her ship, barely missing her as it flew through the hull and out of the front window. The hole in the glass began to slowly expand in small tendrils as the cracks expanded, “Shit, shit.”

There was no way in hell she’d be able to fly this ship out into space now without suffocating because of the hole that was growing in size the longer she tried to evade them. Within moments, the alarms in the ship began to ring loudly in her ear with the automated voice continuously warning her that the engine was malfunctioning, “You don’t fucking say!”

In the distance, an explosion rang in her ears. Upon glancing over, fire started to emanate from a shaft in the near distance, and two small figures ran from the shaft and into the forest, followed by a figure in black.

A strange feeling stirred in the pit of her stomach, making its way upwards into her chest, leaving her bewildered and confused that she could feel the darkness from the person below, even though she closed herself off from the force. The rage within him was sharp, and it cut her deep… like a knife. Her hands became weak, and her body was suddenly filled with an overwhelming urge to destroy.

It overtook her so abruptly, that she didn’t realize until it was too late, that the back of her ship was completely blown off as the metal hit the tops of the trees, and eventually, the sound of steel against the snowy ground filled her ears as she crashed into the ground. Her body instinctively braced itself for impact, ignoring the sounds of the ship crashing into the ground and the trees surrounding her.

The ship slid on the snow for a few moments, but they seemed like an eternity as she waited for the crash to subside and the ship to slow. Finally, the large hunk of metal slid to a stop after it was demolished by the tall trees around her.

Krios sat in what was left of her ship, her eyes wide as her hands grazed her body. Aside from a couple of scratches here and there, she seemed to be alright. In the distance, she vaguely made out the man she saw earlier stalking through the forest, searching for something.  _Someone._

Trying to make her hands recover their movement, she reached for the belt that was still tightly clasped together. Grunting in frustration, Krios reached for her leg, pulling out a knife that she kept on a holster and cutting through the belt, swiftly standing as she reached for her staff.

If she guessed correctly, the man in the forest was Kylo Ren, the dark force user she’d learned about only days prior. And if she guessed correctly once more, Kylo Ren was one of the students that betrayed the Jedi Order and murdered the students that were her friends… and Ben.

She had no doubt in her mind that the man she was after was probably Uri, the stupid son of a bitch couldn’t pass his trials if she did them for him, thus turning him over to the dark side like the dumbass that he was, along with his friends.

Krios swayed momentarily as she struggled to follow Kylo Ren deeper into the forest. She reached for her ribs, noting that they were now beginning to throb and wincing when she pressed on them hard, drawing the conclusion that the crash resulted in her coming out with a broken rib or two, “Of course, I’m not that fucking lucky.”

The snows around her began to fall heavier as she pushed onwards. She began to lose hope that she had lost him, and now any chance of possibly avenging the deaths of her friends and lover were tossed out of the window. She leaned against the tree trunk, feeling despair begin to overtake her tired body as she berated herself for not even being able to do this right.

In the distance, a vague glowing red light caught her attention. She squinted her eyes, trying to make sense of what it was, until she heard the unstable humming ringing in her ears, “Fuck.”

Slowly, she inched closer, noticing that Kylo Ren was preparing to face off with a man and a woman. From here, she could only see their backs, and her eyes scanned the scene as she inched closer, doing her best to remain inconspicuous and in the shadows that the thin trees provided.

The woman drew her hand, immediately blasting a shot from her blaster. Krios remained frozen in her spot as Kylo held his hand out, using the force to toss the woman who shot at him into a nearby tree. Her body hit the frozen tree with a hard thud, and the snow did very little to cushion her fall. The man that was with her shouted after her, instantly sliding to her side as he kneeled beside her, “Rey!”

Krios slowly inched closer, tiptoeing as she tried her best to remain undetected as she heard the whooshing of Kylo Ren’s lightsaber. She leaned her back against the cold, freezing trunk of a thick tree, the humming of another lightsaber came to life and she allowed herself a small peek, squinting her eyes as Kylo pointed his lightsaber at the man holding a vivid blue lightsaber.

Without hesitation, she shuffled towards the unconscious woman, Rey, leaning down to check her pulse. Alive. Quickly, she placed her hands underneath the woman’s arms and dragged her behind a tree to keep her safe. Rey stirred, her glazed over eyes glanced at Krios’ face, confused and concern crossing her soft facial features, “Finn!”

“Shh, it’s ok, stay still.”

“Finn, he’s fighting Kylo Ren I need to—”

Krios quickly cut her off, “You’ve been injured, stay here, I’ll help your friend.”

“He’s a force user, he’ll—”

Rey was cut off by the sound of the man, Finn, screaming in agony. Krios immediately turned to glance at the fight that was taking place. She watched in horror as Kylo Ren’s cross guard burned into Finn’s shoulder. While the actions of Kylo Ren shocked her, it was  _who_  he was that shocked her further. She squinted her eyes as she emerged from the tree line, watching as Kylo Ren punched Finn in the face and proceeded to slice Finn across the back.

She could have stopped him, but the initial shock she felt kept her firmly planted in her spot as she stared at Kylo Ren, trying to make sense of what kind of dark force use this was.

 _No, it can’t be real_ , she thought,  ** _he_** _can’t be real. He’s **dead**._

But the longer she stared from amongst the dead trees and glanced at the man, Kylo Ren, she felt it in her bones. In her body. In her heart. She saw it in the way he walked. She saw it in the way his hand reached out for the silver lightsaber that lay buried in the snow. She could feel him, as clear as she could feel the freezing wind on her face, as clear as she could feel the soft touch of the snowflakes falling on her hair.

Ben Solo was alive. And he was Kylo Ren.

Whatever sadness she felt before was suddenly quelled as she took in the realization what Ben had done. Who he was. The night at the Jedi Temple replayed in her mind as she recalled the duel with Uri, Pree and Serj, with Bree and Carey at her side. As she recalled finding Carey’s, Bree’s, Ritter’s and all of her other student’s bodies scattered on the grounds as carrion for the vultures.

A strong overwhelming feeling spread through her, it was difficult at first to tell what it was, until she realized that her body trembled slightly in her emotional state. The power that she closed herself from all those years ago trickled over the longer she tried to keep it bottled up, until finally, it exploded through, prodding her to reach. To  _feel_.

In that instant, the lightsaber that Kylo, or Ben struggled to call to his leather clad hand flew to her own outstretched gloved hand so easily, so simply. To feel the silver shaft in her hands was alien, almost strange.

Kylo turned, his eyes widening upon realizing whom he was staring at. And just like her, he spoke skeptically to himself, “No. No, you’re dead.”

The force prodded her to feel, to reach. As she did so, she caught vague feelings of rage and chaos, the satisfaction of turning to the dark side. Her eyes widened as she felt the mercilessness and ruthlessness he brought upon the family that he was supposed to protect.

“It was  _you_ ,” Krios whispered, holding the lightsaber limply in her hands, recollecting that the last time she held a full-fledged saber was with her left hand after her right was cut off. The feeling of dread as she continued to reminiscence that night filled her as she spoke in a harsh tone, “It was you.  _You_  killed them.”

Kylo’s eyes widened the longer he stared at her, it was as if he himself was trying to make sense of what was going on in front of him. It was as if he too could not believe that she was as real as he was. She didn’t try to hide the disappointment or anger in her eyes. Tears pricked the corners of her Y/E/C pools as she stared at the man she used to love in front of her, alive. Not dead, and responsible for the terror that gripped the galaxy. No doubt, also responsible for the deaths of countless innocents.

“Y/N—”

“No, _you_  are not allowed to call me that,  _Kylo_ ,” she spat, lighting the saber in her hands in her rage, ignoring the throbbing pain in her ribs.

“I don’t want to fight you,” he softly spoke, inching his way towards her carefully. Her eyes took notice of the drops of blood dripping from his side, immediately thinking how the wound would slow him in their coming duel.

But Krios was beyond herself with wrath as she swung at Kylo’s head, aiming to kill him. Kylo immediately jumped back, igniting his own lightsaber. The red glowed unstable and corrupted, just as he was, just as his soul was.

“Krios,” Kylo stared, carefully watching her as she stalked towards him, swinging the humming blue lightsaber in her hands at him. He quickly deflected it, twirling his own saber in his hands the way he always used to, “Let me explain—"

But Krios wasn’t listening, she swung again, this time slicing his shoulder relentlessly as she aimed to finish him off. Kylo deflected the blow again, this time taking the offensive as well. Krios however, knew his style of fighting, and remembered it after all those years of thinking of him that she was able to anticipate his moves to a tee.

He stuck to his style of fighting, but Krios learned long ago during her training that she could not just limit herself to one form, greedily learning as many forms as she could to better fight whatever opponent she faced. She quickly switched her form, becoming limber and acrobatic to heavy and powerful.

Swiftly, she swung at him, shouting as he scurried backwards, “This is all your fault! You killed them all!”

“Krios—” Kylo, Ben or whoever the hell he was, blocked her blow, their lightsabers clashing as the planet trembled around them, the ground below them fell in on itself, imploding from the explosions in the distance.

“Bree is dead because of you! Carey is dead because of you! I had to lift his body from the ground in pieces!”

“You don’t understand! Luke, he tried to—”

Krios pushed their clashed lightsabers towards him, the sparks from the clashing falling on their faces as the soft humming and unstable light struggled to push their way past each other towards their targets. At the mention of Luke, Krios’ anger built further, “HE LEFT BECAUSE OF YOU!”

Instinctively, the suppressed force that she hid away was unleashed to it’s full potential. She felt the familiarity inside of her roil as she allowed her body to fill itself with the raw, untapped power. Quickly, she forcefully shoved Kylo backwards, making him slide into a thick tree trunk.

He stood stunned momentarily, immediately gaining his composure as she slid forwards, bringing the blue lightsaber down. He clenched his gloved hands around her skeletal, gloved wrist, bringing the saber down to the ground. The primal rage inside of her prompted her to do the same as her free hand reached for his wrist, bringing his lightsaber down to snow.

Both sabers hissed as the heat touched the icy snow on the ground. Krios’ glare was fixed on Kylo’s intense and pleading stare. They both struggled against each other; their grunts and heavy pants filled the air with a thick cloud of fog.

“Krios,” Kylo started, struggling to keep her saber on the ground, “I didn’t kill Carey, and I didn’t kill Bree—”

“But you were accountable,” she growled, her voice deep and heavy as she pushed further.

The ground below them shook in a violent tremor, temporarily throwing off Kylo as he turned his attention on the quaking ground below. Krios immediately used the opportunity to shove her foot into his stomach, prompting Kylo to stumble backwards as she slashed across his chest.

He struggled to get to his feet, surprise visibly taking hold of his emotions and making him lose focus. Quickly, she lunged her saber into his shoulder, the hissing of the saber against his flesh making a satisfactory sound in her ears.

Before he could rise to his feet, she quickly slashed him across his chest once more, this time making sure that the slash cut deeper than the first one. The smell of burnt flesh and singed clothing filled her nose as she prepared to land the killing blow.

Kylo laid there, his eyes full of sorrow as he awaited, and seemingly accepted his fate, “Do it.”

Krios was taken aback by his sudden need to die at her hand. She lifted the saber high over her head, gripping the lightsabers shaft in her hands tightly as her breathing intensified.

“Do it,” Kylo repeated, “I’m dead anyways.”

 _Do it,_  a voice in her mind egged, prodding her to kill the man that lay in front of her,  _he killed your family. He killed many innocents, he deserves to die._

Her body began to quiver as she gaped down at the deep, chocolate eyes she stared into all those years ago. How she adored him, how she loved him deeply and truly.

The nights she spent calling for him, hoping for him to be alive filled her with a sense of dismay. The sadness that she felt all those years was as intense in this moment as it had been all those years she spent without him thinking he was dead. There was no more anger, there was only misery.

Sobbing quietly, she lowered the lightsaber to her side, prompting Kylo to begin speaking in a huff, “Krios, I thought you were dead, that’s the only reason—”

“Spare me whatever excuses you have, Kylo, Ben, whomever the hell you are,” she seethed, pulling the gloves from her hands that belonged to him and tossing them down to him. She was vaguely aware of Kylo’s eyes falling on the metallic fingers that were her hand now. She shut off the lightsaber in her hand, speaking silently, “Figure it out. For the sake of our history, I will not kill you. Not tonight. But if we ever meet in battle again, I will serve you a fate worse than death.”

She saw how the last words she spoke made him wince, but his feelings meant nothing to her now. All that mattered was what she came for in the first place, and as she turned, she glanced towards the sky, watching as her friend fought off the remining First Order fighters.

The ground beneath her shook once more, and she turned to see the earth shifting on itself, creating a large rift between herself and Kylo. He sat up on the other side of the cliff, watching her desperately as she turned back, refusing to give the man the satisfaction of knowing that in a way, he was still her weakness. He called after her, and no matter how hard it was, she refused to listen to his desperate calls, serving him the same treatment she went through for 6 years.

Her feet took her as far as she could to look for a way off the planet,  _if_ there was a way. As she tried to outrun the crumbling planet, she stumbled upon Rey, who was struggling to haul Finn along with her. Krios came up beside her, throwing Finn’s free arm around her own shoulder as Rey stared at her with a small appreciative smile.

Rey’s features were lit up with a plethora of white lights shining down on them, making Krios squint as she tried to make out if the ship that descended from the sky was a friend or foe. She waited as the ship lowered onto the ground in front of them. At Rey’s insistence, she supposed that the ship was a friend as she pushed her legs further, prompting Krios to do the same. With only minutes to spare, they boarded the ramp of the ship hurriedly.

“We need to get out of here, Chewie,” Rey ordered, gently laying Finn on the small cot in the corner of the ship and jumping into the co-pilots seat next to a Wookie that she assumed was Chewie, “The planet is blowing up, and if we’re not out of here soon, we will be too.”

As the ship began to ascend into the sky, Krios shuffled over to the pilot’s cabin. Her eyes scanned the ground below for an inkling that Kylo survived. But she saw nothing.

Still, a soft whispering in the force assured her that he was still alive. She could feel his presence churning like the waves of a crashing ocean, deep and constantly moving. The relief she felt within her made her begin to feel conflicted and torn as she recalled the last words she spoke to him.

She knew what she had to do, but question remained if she  _could_  do it. She had already let her emotions influence her decision moments before.

But, how could she kill the man that she yearned for all those years?

 _Ben Solo is dead_ , she told herself. Reminding her that even Leia told her so.

Suddenly, she wondered if the General even knew that Kylo Ren was Ben Solo. Her brows furrowed as she remained deep in thought while she made her way to the small lounge in the ship.

Leia was the General of the Resistance, it was her job to know everything and be aware of their enemies.

She didn’t want to believe that Leia had no clue that her own son was alive.

It occurred to Krios then, that maybe Leia wasn’t as honest with her as she assumed she’d be.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Soo, be gentle. But what do you all think? I have the second chapter outlined[a brief summary below]; if you want to read it, let me know so I can finish and post it. ^_^


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